Inquire at the venue. Most venues have preferred vendors they work with, and this usually includes hotels, or other lodging.
Also ask about rehearsal arrangements. Usually those are done at the wedding venue…so ask them about that too.
They have already booked the venue. They knew the location was possibly an issue, but she didn’t care for the available options for their date in or nearer to our former home town. She also really liked a different venue that was 65 miles from her home town (close to where H’s family lives), but it was more than double the price.
From the venue website, it looks absolutely lovely and perfect for what they want. They did discuss with me prior to booking it, asking if I thought the location was a problem. Since it’s about the same drive for her family as for H’s extended family, and the venue was so nice and reasonably priced, I gave my blessing. The other option (at more than twice the price) would have been more convenient for us, but not for her family or their HS friends who still have family in our home town.
Fortunately, this is in the fairly rural midwest, where residents are used to driving long distances, and the posted speed limit on most highways is 70+ mph!
I’d try to do everything as close to the venue as possible, even if that means Super 8 motels. The driving, at night and maybe requiring designated drivers after the rehearsal dinner or wedding, becomes an issue.
Agree with the recommendation to ask the venue. They have been there, done that, and gotten the tshirt.
I think 50 miles is very far for people to drive after a wedding. If they have to drive 50+ miles they may not be able to enjoy themselves as much at the wedding. We provided transportation from a hotel where most of our guests were staying to the ceremony and reception because we didn’t want people to drink and drive. Some of our friends who were within 1+ hr drive away also chose to stay at the recommended hotel.
Our venue was right across the street from the hotel where most guests stayed. If it had been farther away, we would have provided transportation.
I agree…50 miles is a long way to drive after a wedding reception. And at 70 MPH…it could be might dangerous if folks have been drinking.
Did the bride and groom give any thought to lodging? Maybe they don’t mind the Super 8.
Also, if there are older guests, they might just opt out at that distance. Some people just don’t want to drive at night. And some people may prefer more options for lodging,may prefer a step up from an Econo Lodge. Congratulations on the engagement!
This was one of the reasons my daughter decided against a barn wedding; distance and hotel accommodations were an issue. Due to the distance, ever guess would need a place to stay in the small town as well as feeding people over the weekend. Without plans for the guest the entire weekend, people would have nothing to do outside of the wedding. As many guest were coming from out of the country and planning to spend 1-2 weeks in the states, I couldn’t see keeping them in a small town for a long weekend.
We also looked into having buses from our home city to the venue, but between the cost and travel time, we nixed that idea also. In the end they found the perfect venue just a couple of miles from our house and a hotel 15 minutes away.
It can work out, though. One of the most memorable weddings I ever went to was in a small town that was honestly at least an hour from the nearest hotel (of any kind). It was the bride’s hometown, and can’t have had a population over a few hundred people. They shut down the main street (I think there were only 2-3 streets) for a street dance. There was a church with an attached hall for food, and they set up kegs and a live band at the firebarn across the street from the church. Yup, we drove a long way. But was charming.
I’d have no problem staying at the Econolodge or Super 8.
At older S’s wedding we stayed in a cabin. I politely declined the one that required one to go out onto the deck to the bathroom
So I realized I need to take a step back. In my eagerness to start planning, I had failed to consult the bride and groom.
She told me the venue can arrange for a rehearsal. She is also thinking instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner, with families and out-of-town guests and members of the wedding party (which will probably end up being a majority of the wedding), we could do something more informal with immediate family a few days before the wedding.
They are coming to visit us in a month, and I will practice patience.
Thanks for letting me express some of my excitement in a safe way! Writing it out here helped me realize I need to slow down.
He bought the ring! That’s all I know… ?
Will be a parent of the groom in 3 and a half months.
Everything has been or will be planned by DS and FDIL themselves in their city - Boston.
Both sides of parents will likely share the cost equally but both side of parents (at least our side) will likely have zero input to any of the planning.
We will fly in one day before the rehearsal. The hotel has been reserved because we have a lingering concern that it may be difficult to get a hotel room around that time of the year in that city.
The hotel is within 4 or 5 minutes of walking distance from their selected venue. It is right next to Boston Public Garden.
Compared to the norm here, I guess it is likely very unusual for parents from both sides to just write checks to help cover the cost and have no other contributions and have zero input to the planning of the wedding.
Oh…parents will meet for the first time during the rehearsal! Both sides of parents will fly in from far away. One side coast-to-coast, the other side continent-to-continent!
Heard that they plan to have about 50 guests — almost all of them are their friends and maybe coworkers in the same city.
Have anyone here heard of Hampshire House as a wedding venue?
We are happy but nervous!
I just looked up Hampshire House. It is gorgeous!!! A Beacon Hill mansion with the mahogany walls and built in bookcases.
I’m envious that your kids # is @50.
My son’s fiancée wants to coordinate the rehearsal dinner and brunch, which I will pay for. However, it’s been MONTHs and no,place confirmed.
The wedding plans sound really nice. That’s a very nice venue…and location near the public garden. The public garden would be a gorgeous place for pictures.
You were smart to make your lodging reservations. If there are any Boston area college graduations, things quickly fill up.
So…do you have your dress?
Thanks!
We have not.
DS encouraged us to use Airbnb for our lodging. We were not comfortable to use it for such an important event for us. We have never used Airbnb before - after all , we belong to the generation who is unfamiliar with such a thing. Also, we decided against driving a car in such a busy and unfamiliar city.
In the end, we made a reservation at a small locally-owned hotel, Beacon Hill Hotel & Bistro, which is located very close to the wedding venue they have selected, Hampshire House. The reviews I found at TripAdvisor seem to be mostly positive for this locally-owned “bed and breakfast” (one reviewer called this hotel as that even though it is still officially a hotel,)
FDIL and DS wisely have picked the date a few days before most colleges’ graduation things. Still most higher-end hotels have raised their rates, some as high as > $900 a night!
@college_query I found this thread a great place to vent my frustration as MOG. It also was helpful to have a place to come ask the questions I was asking the bride and groom and not getting answers for. I also love how so many shared their experiences. It helped me immensely. I’m finding it much easier to be MOB.
With my S they didn’t plan on hospitality bags. I felt it was a nice gesture as most of the guests had traveled and spent a great deal of money to attend the wedding. The venue also was one where it wasn’t easy to leave and find snacks. About 50 of the guests stayed onsite in cabins with no kitchens. We did provide a meal Friday night and breakfast both Saturday and Sunday morning. I found the breakfast time to be a great opportunity to have time to visit with the guests. I ended up making bags. I think I might have gone a bit overboard but quite a number of the guests let me know that they enjoyed the snacks on the drive home.
While at first I wasn’t sure about the cabin idea I think it made for a really nice weekend. I felt a tad guilty that the cabins were expensive for what they were. We stayed in the same cabin as @jym626.
With my D I’m realizing that while her venue is beautiful it is going to be costly for the guests. Some will be able to come for the day but most will stay over. The area is expensive in June. There is less expensive lodging 30 minutes away but I think about the guests driving back in the dark. There is also not a lot of dining in the area so we will invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner.
I would LOVE just writing a check. I had too much involvement when my daughter got married (largely because she and her fiance lived far away but were planning to get married where I live – which is where both of them grew up and where many of their friends and family still live).
My D is wonderful at planning, and she inherited my love for a good deal. We told her our budget, and we got lucky because the groom’s parents offered to pay for half the reception. D ended up planning & executing a truly lovely wedding. She shared information with me along the way, but I didn’t help plan. Everything was just what D & her now-H wanted. I am glad, because that is what H & I wanted for them.