Right…our venue was clear…the candle holder needed to be higher than the flame. We used votive holders and tea lights…there are 6 hour tea lights at Michaels.
Anyone need 100 or so votive candle holders??
Re: tablecloths. I would look on Amazon and BBB. I think i would be reluctant to buy used because how would you be guaranteed there aren’t any stains that didn’t wash out?
@powercropper Oh my, I was in charge of those navy wrinkled tablecloths! Ours were a poly type of fabric…I tried ironing but quickly dumped that method, it was torture! I squirted them with a mist water bottle and threw them a couple at a time in the dryer to get the wrinkles out. It wasn’t a perfect method but once laid on the tables the wrinkles seemed to disappear after a couple of hours (we dressed the tables the day before the wedding).
I’m pretty DIL ordered from here: https://tableclothsfactory.com/collections/108-round-tablecloths/products/108-navy-blue-polyester-round-tablecloth
Too bad, we are actually getting ready to sell them locally - we have I think at least 18 rounds. We were going to sell on ebay but shipping is a hassle cost wise for that many pieces. We are going to list them on FB marketplace.
If you live in a larger city, there is probably a Facebook group where you can buy / sell items. The Seattle one is called “The Seattle Wedding Community” (followed by Buy/Sell/Give Group,but I’d just search on the city name wedding community to find it). Since they are local, you’d get a chance to see an item before purchasing.
@Thumper I’m planning to price votives at IKEA next week. If you are serious, PM me.
Spent the weekend with my S and FDIL and her family wedding dress shopping. I appreciated being included and made sure they all knew that. Her family absolutely loves my S and he feels the same. I’m so appreciative of that situation for him. Her mom and I were able to talk about the rehearsal dinner which I will host but will be held at their home. I feel like we are all on the same page and have an open line of communication. The uncomfortable situation is his dad. We separated and divorced 4 years ago and the dad has not paved an easy road for the kids. I don’t comment except to say I’m very sorry he has chosen to be difficult. Their dad did not attend my D’s college graduation last May and my D says there is no way her dad will attend the wedding. I’m very sad he is behaving this way. I have a SO and we will host the dinner together. I have a loving supportive extended family and the wedding will be a fun festive event. It’s in early October so now that the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses are chosen the MOB and I are on the prowl. Love the threads on dress shopping here!
WOW I just wanted to dd two people to the guest list and my daughter asked me if it was absolutely necessary???
@downtoearth is she on space or financial restraints? Offer to pay for them if it is financial. If it is space then remind her that some of the invites are going to send regrets and there will likely be room for these 2.
We are paying or everything and there is no restraint s on size. I am flabbergasted.
My guesses are then that either she feels that she has no control over her own wedding, it is becoming something she does not like or want. Or, she does not like these particular people for some reason that you don’t know.
Yup. Or maybe they are in a category that they aren’t inviting on the groom’s side, creating possible awkwardness there.
I had to say no to my mother, for some guests I didn’t know or had zero relationship with, over the years. In retrospect, I question whether I was wrong. But weddings are an exceptional time of stress for many brides. Things you can’t control, on one side (like if a venue is available,) then the sheer volume of decisions to be made. And then the notion of “perfection.”
My D1 is unusual in that she truly cares only about the dress, table decor (flower height, but not what flowers,) cake appearance (not even so much the taste) and a few other things. She said the dreaded phrase, “sheet cake,” and lol, I said NO!
Turns out, btw, that she doesn’t want candelabras, just high arrangements. Se sent me a pic and it’s lovely.
Sorry downtoearth, I was your daughter. I was feeling extremely overwhelmed, like the wedding was getting out of my control. The guest list was at 375 and it was hitting me that more than half the people at the wedding were going to be people I didn’t know. I was thinking about how instead of being surrounded by my friends and family, it was turning into our parents’ friends. As a pretty shy/introverted person, it was freaking me out. Not to mention I was already agonizing with my husband about which of our friends we should keep/cut, plus trying to keep his own parents’ list under control. Don’t take it personally - unless she’s just always been a horrible selfish person, she’s just under a lot of stress and decision fatigue.
I got my wedding video last night - 2.5 hours long! My husband and I watched the whole thing. Man, whaaaat a day.
@lookingforward Lots of times there is a traditional stacked wedding cake for cutting/photos, but not enough to feed the guests. Then the caterer brings out sheet case pieces cut in the kitchen of the same cake. Cheaper, and guests don’t seem to mind.
Oh @lookingforward , here we are, trying drop hints that S & FDIL might want to save money and get sheet cake, because they don’t care about the look, just the taste!
We had them make a guest list, and then we asked for a couple more and pointed out the family they’d forgotten – people that we know won’t come, but want to feel included. We had assumed a small gathering and that’s how it is shaping up. Bride’s coup of the week was finding out an old friend who is a professional cellist will be able to play her down the aisle!!
But S has put me on hold for now, no wedding related discussions until FDIL is less overwhelmed by double shifts and MOB. I get it, and I approve of him protecting her, but it’s hard to not look at flowers, favors, etc and be excited by myself! She gave me place cards to work on to keep me sane 
Cheaper, and guests don’t seem to mind. <<
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Or notice.
Plus if you do my all time favorite wedding thing, provide a little box of cake to take home and sleep on to dream of the man you will marry, it is easier to have a flat sheet cake to cut.
@intparent, a relative’s sheet wedding cake was the worst cake I ever tasted. (Maybe the formal cake was just as bad, lol.) She’s only got 75 on the list and that can be a tiered cake. Her first choice venue provides the cake in the package costs and she feels the cakes on the baker’s web page are pretty. We’ll do a tasting.
This is my kid who once explained she seems calm because the thought of anxiety makes her anxious. She controls and plans just enough to maintain, doesn;t sweat small stuff. Assuming we get the venue, she’s fine. And if we don’t get her date choices, she’ll change dates. I asked what if the photog isn’t avail that day and she said, “I’ll get another one.” (Lots of recs from recently married friends.) If the venue fails, she has 2nd choices.
Her bigger issue is BFIL’s mother is apparently nuts. She wanted to know how to seat her in some place of honor without it being near the dad and (well liked) stepmom. I figured that one out for her.
The only real jeopardy is this anti-stress kid is likely, at some point, to take it out on me, use me as her batting post. But I love her and know she loves me and we’ll get through it. I told her, my only request is for her to listen to my input, then she’s free to disregard it. I trust her. And she is listening and does appreciate some of it.
When I told her about the candle/candelabra issue (above,) I half expected her to have some “Oh, Mom, blah blah” retort. But no, she just sent her ideas. (Lol, she knows I’m on this thread.)
@lookingforward the hardest thing about planning a wedding for us was the seating chart for dinner. Very hard. But we got it done, and folks seemed to enjoy their tables.
But it’s a challenge!
I only offer suggestions for her to veto, and she has. I also do homework and she and fiancé decide. She is a young bride. My opinion is a wedding is a family event and some people need to be invited. I thought long and hard about these. She has made many decisions which are not my taste and I have closed my mouth. Not my wedding. We did not limit grooms list. There will prob be around 180 and I told her that we may add a couple. I will just keep my mouth shut, hand out the money.
@thumper1 I am not looking forward to working on the seating chart! Luckily, both bride and groom have parents still married to each other so no issue with stepmothers or stepfathers not getting along. But we have issues like that in the grandparent/stepgrandparents and aunts/uncles generation, including some not on speaking terms with each other. Ick. I hate that kind of stuff. On top of just trying to get everyone at a table with people they would like to sit with. I went to one family wedding where I was asked to arrange the name cards in alphabetical order to help facilitate seating…and then the next day, when we got to the wedding, no name cards. The bride had decided she couldn’t finish the seating plan so there was no assigned seating. It was kind of awkward, like people would be saying, “oh come sit at our table,” but then not everyone in that group would fit.
D1 did the seating chart then showed it to me and her MIL to get our input. We just made few minor changes. Some how she was able to put her dad and me far enough from each other, but still some where around the main table (since we were divorced). We didn’t have anyone who couldn’t be at the same table. D1 had assigned seats, not just assigned table.