What story, @stradmom! Congrats for surviving!!
This weekend was DS#2’s 1st anniversary! My how time flies!
@mom60 we ended up with the Beatles, In My Life for the mother-son dance - only about 90 seconds!
@stradmom
“Groomsmen have tactfully retreated to a quiet corner and have commandeered a plate of hors d’oeuvres and a bottle and are just happy it’s not their fault.”
LOLOL! Thank you for the great story 
OMG. DS just posted a video of our first dance on facebook. If it was anyone else, I’d say “how sweet, look at that lovely mother and son connecting during his wedding.” Room for personal growth here… to all upcoming parents, live in the moment and enjoy it. (Also, you should know, I downed the glass of the person sitting to my left before heading out to the dance floor!)
How sweet that your son loves you somuch he posted that.
(omg, finding this forum/thread is exhausting. still hating the “improvements”)
@stradmom Yay!!! it sounds like you did great! something always goes sideways, doesn’t it?
Our current issues are seating – the rsvps are looking like a full house, which means about 20 people will be at rounds in an area stepped down/away from the rest. Who goes there? We are thinking it will be us and my siblings ; they won’t take offense and it seems wrong to stick anyone else there. But I am a little bummed, truth be told.
The photobooth company cancelled our booking “personal conflict” and once FDIL and I stopped being angry, we got over it. We booked and deposited in January ; vendor just told us last week after my son called them to check in on details! Our venue coordinator said she would cross this well regarded business off her “recommended” list. Got the refund, but jeez…
Dress is finished and coming to live with us until the wedding. MOB’s pearl necklace is coming to our safe deposit box – MOB demanded that the couple get extra insurance or B couldn’t have it; she wants proof that it’s “safe” so this is the compromise. (wedding is in our city). Shower is done and MOB was fine and it was fun. I was impressed with how organized and friendly the bridesmaids (who planned it together) are.
Haven’t chosen our song to dance to, but we’re down to two. I need to find something to keep my feet from sliding in my heels, though (I don’t ever wear nylons/stockings so I’ll be barelegged.)
I bought a MOB dress in London. My H and friends liked it but my friends here don’t. Now I am sad. It is below the knee so I will wear nylons. That is unless I change it.
My other d is now planning her wedding. 7 months after the first. I hope second future SIL parents help pay.
Our flowers are outrageous. so cutting down on Bridesmaids really helps.
@runnersmom we were on the hook for our D’s wedding last year. The in-laws did not offer to pay for a thing. Instead, they gave money as a wedding gift to the couple, who then used to to pay for their own rehearsal dinner. We were a little surprised but it worked out fine.
My advice is to have your own budget in mind when you go in to talk with them. If you know there’s a line you won’t cross, then stick to it. It’s easy to let the excitement carry you over it.
@downtoearth - that’s a bummer about the dress - do you love it?
@downtoearth two weddings in a year is … all the things…
If you like the dress, go for it! I wore nylons and was probably the only person to do so.
Biggest lesson learned: do the finances up front in an objective way and avoid surprises later on.
We knew his family wouldn’t be able to contribute anything. We went to them with a specific amount that we would contribute. They weren’t expecting us to do this. They had us pay some bills as they became due. There was some left in the kitty. DD (always planning ahead…not) had me looking for a branch of our bank the day before to get the remaining cash for some of the tips.
If you like the dress, wear it! You need to feel comfortable and like what you are wearing. Does the bride like the dress?
Honestly, you could get another dress, and different friends might not like it.
If you want to wear nylons, go ahead and do so…but I don’t think the length of the dress should drive that decision.
@downtoearth If you like the dress, you should wear it! I just went dress shopping with someone and, much as I love her, I would not wear any of the dresses she liked for herself. When I first started looking for an MOB dress, I tried some things on with my husband, my mom, other people, and found I was really getting too much feedback about their preferences. Dresses DH or mom loved on me I was not thrilled with… often I agreed that they fit me well but I just didn’t love the look. It was helpful to have someone else looking at fit, especially in the back, but eventually I stopped asking anybody if they liked the dresses that I was considering, especially as the process went on and I got more used to trying on dressy things and what felt good to me. (I have been leading a very casual life for a while.) I know the one I chose is a bit different from what some people are expecting, but I like it!
@downtoearth I did let the bride take a look, though.
I went shopping for my MOB dress with a good friend. I love the dress I picked chose. My friend was a supportive and helpful shopper…knew exactly where to take me for the best choice. She actually encouraged me to say yes to my dress. We also sent pics to the bride for consideration. But that was it.
One good friend with good taste and a good eye. More than that and you are asking for conflicts in opinions.
I should add, I loved my dress before I tried it on…my friend gave me the encouragement to buy!
I went shopping for my MOB dress with my best friend. We have totally different tastes, and once she got past that, we made good progress. I like fitted and classic; she is more flowy and boho. I then came home (we live 1000 miles apart) and ordered the ones we liked in the right size and several colors. I took pix and sent them to her and D1. They both liked the same one and said pick the color I like. They both thought the violet-blue was classic, but the plum edgy. I chose the blue—I’ve never been described as edgy and the wedding day was not the place to start.
I started looking for a MOG dress and found these that I had them order in my size to try:
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js-collections-embroidered-illusion-bodice-gown/4819885?origin=coordinating-4819885-0-5-FTR-recbot-recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_placement=FTR&recs_strategy=recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=5286182
in the plum
or
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-femme-ruched-jersey-gown/5032892?origin=coordinating-5032892-0-3-FTR-recbot-recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_placement=FTR&recs_strategy=recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=5286182
in the cocoa
Love both, the first is my personal favorite. It might be a little more forgiving of those bumps and lumps.
The second looks more traditional bra friendly, although I think the first would be fine with a strapless bra or clear straps on a traditional bra.
But love both
@deb922 - thank you!! I totally agree re the bra-friendliness. That exactly weighs against harder to clean, so still a tie?
Both are beautiful dresses @fretfulmother . But the first one - it seems special. Just catches your eye as a “wow” dress. The second one however is very classic in a very pretty way. You’ll have to see how they look on of course, but is “who are you”? Are you someone who would like to make a little statement with your dress? Or do you just want to look nice but not necessarily stand out?