So sorry @FlyMeToTheMoon. These decisions are so hard for all involved. I hope there is a way to make this important event special for everyone.
@FlyMeToTheMoon I am so sorry the wedding plans need to be cancelled…for now.
The family wedding cancelled here…the couple hopes to have a celebration and vow renewal on their first anniversary.
Thank you everyone, for your supportive comments. Our family does not put a lot of emphasis on ceremony, and if they had decided to elope or go small from the beginning, we would have been ecstatic. But we became very involved from the beginning, since our daughter needed our help getting her birth certificate for the first of many steps to apply for a marriage license in Spain. She even had to answer interview questions a la “The Proposal” to prove she was really in love with her fiancé. ?
But then in November my husband had several medical issues, including surgery and a heart attack while in the recovery room, which led to 39 harrowing days in the hospital. As my husband says, I wasn’t sure which door he was going to leave by. Then, 11 days after he was released from the hospital, he had a stroke. With both situations, we went through a period where we doubted he would recover enough to make the trip to Barcelona.
But he has!
So it seems like a cruel joke to have to cancel the wedding now, after the two dry runs we had to cause doubt.
So sorry @FlyMeToTheMoon. It is tough to shift expectations about significant events. Seems likely that they will find ways to make it work all around, yet there is grief.
Weddings are hit hard by the pandemic and reading this thread is poignant. Best to everyone.
Yes, @travelnut, I’m sure we will look back on this someday and say it all worked out for the best. My daughter is taking it surprisingly well. I need to follow her lead. One of her main arguments for not rescheduling the wedding, was that many of the guests would lose money on their airline tickets, and she didn’t feel she could ask them to invest more money in another trip. I admire her for that.
@FlyMeToTheMoon - sorry to hear about the cancelation.
D had two good friends - both with weddings scheduled for mid May. Clashed with her brother’s graduation too. Now all three, are postponed! One of the weddings has a new date of next May, not sure about the second. With the original plans, D was missing one of the weddings - now with the cancellations, rebooking - she’s hoping she could possibly attend both next year!
Friends’ S got engaged last year - they still haven’t set a date. He’s now convincing his mom that not setting a date was the smartest thing they’ve done so far.
Good news this week! Niece postponed her wedding to August 23. Her MIL suggested that as 3 generations in their family were married in August, they could be the 4th. We set it up with the venue, everything the same. If groups gatherings are under 100 by then, we will be fine. Lots of space to social distance if needed. Especially since our shut down has been extended to May 15, and I think that is optimistic.
We also watched a live stream of a friend’s son’s wedding today. Such joy to witness! 11 people pretty well-distanced. Then we got to watch the family and attendant pictures being taken.
Best part: watching the bride wave at the camera as she walked back down the aisle.
My friend’s son got married in New York State (Kingston area) this past weekend via Zoom. She sent us pictures of the couple where they had set up phones and a couple of Ipads of the participants and attendees. Unconventional to be sure, but the couple looked very happy! It was a tonic to see.
We zoomed with son and his fiancee today. Original plan was spring or early summer 2021. Now they are thinking they will legally wed sometime this year with something very small , maybe even some kind of remote, zoom type thing. And have a bigger ceremony with family and friends later, sometime in late 2021 or even into 2022! Not what I was expecting , but it is a weird time to be newly engaged You cannot really plan anything at this point that involves a group of people , some of whom need to travel to the wedding. And who knows when wedding venues, vendors, planning will get back to anything resembling normal. Oh, well, I’ll just have to go with the flow .
The important thing is they are very much looking forward to marrying and we are very happy for them. They will have to navigate a different way of doing that but they are not alone with having to think about things differently these days.
So far we have two early May weddings that are taking place with immediate family and reception celebration a year later.
On our side, things have changed again. They had a big talk, both want to keep the Nov date they set. One way or another. But get married.
They cancelled the fancy hotel venue and booked a small historic site in town. Waiting on caterer quotes for a cocktail hour heavy on appetizers, followed by a private family-only whoop-dee-do private dinner. 15 family.
Only, that’s IF restaurants are open then.
D1 continues to have her big girl cap on. If this plan doesn’t work out, she’s emotionally prepared, has ideas. I don’t know what makes her think a 50 person ceremony can be pulled off. It exceeds limits, though the new venue thinks it’s going to be ok. (?)
Ultimate back-up is the family home, borrow a few round tables from the church, make space for them, load up on flowers and candles, have a caterer serve dinner here. The vows would be private and also here, if need be.
Trying to stay cool.
@lookingforward, I feel for you and your kids. We had plans, back-up plans, and back-up to the back-up plans and still they postponed the whole thing originally scheduled for March 21. This was, of course, back in the early days of SIP but by the time the day arrived the edict was no gatherings of any size. A family in our suburban NYC town was busted by the police recently for hosting what was allegedly a 10 person wedding (still not allowed in NYS right now). However, the number of cars, plus apparently photographer, musicians, caterers etc. belied that assertion.
My S and FDIL have August 8 now reserved for their wedding but I have serious doubts about that happening in any form. Beyond that, I’m worried that the venue will go bankrupt and we will lose the money already paid (most of it since we were 6 days out when it was cancelled). However, right now they’re taking it day by day and will readjust again, if necessary. I’d hope that by November your D and FDIL will be able to have a version of the wedding they want.
In other wedding-related news, apparently Kleinfeld’s offered FDIL another included fitting closer to when the wedding will eventually be held. Guess they want bodies in the store (when it can open) and are concerned that some brides will need adjustments based on their corona and quarantine routines!
The companies in the UK who sold wedding insurance are refusing to pay because while the weddings were insured due to illness (including Corona) the insurers are claiming that Government Acts (closing the venues) are not included.
This is one of the reasons I’m glad son (engaged February 28) and his fiancee are holding off on any major plans or setting a date for a bigger gathering… Even when things might start to open up to try to plan something for next year, you just don’t know what the situation will be going forward. I’m thankful they at least had a great proposal and a few days to get together with friends and celebrate in a normal way before everything changed so much. As I mentioned, they may do something very small to legally marry and wait for a bigger celebration later.
We are still in a holding pattern for D’s scheduled late Aug. wedding. The kids are way more optimistic that I am about it coming off as planned so we’ll wait and see. Likely the answer will be dictated by the rules in place at the time. I do wish someone in the government would set some kind of preliminary timetable – in the next month we have to decide if we want to mail invitations or not.
Here’s a question. My goddaughter’s (we are “ok” close but not amazingly close) wedding was suppose to be next Saturday (May 9). The large wedding "renew vows)and reception are currently rescheduled for later August. But they are still getting married next weekend with only both sets of parents present.
Do I send a gift now - or wait till August? It sort of seems rotten/unfair that they don’t get gifts at the time they are actually getting married! I know the gifts are not the reason for the wedding but…
I just wonder what others will do. Will they wait until August to gift the couple?
I thought about sending a houseplant or something to celebrate the occasion next week and then a check in August. I don’t want to do flowers. Seems wasteful and she will probably have a bouquet for the small ceremony.
What have you done if you’ve missed weddings this COVID season or if they have been rescheduled???
Send the gift now. If things fall apart for Aug, they are still married now.
It’s a renewal or a first time? I’m confused by this. What were you invited to? If the only time you’ll be present is August, why would they expect a gift now?
I think that whatever you do, it will be fine. Now or in August.
I was talking to my daughter yesterday, her boyfriend’s sister had a July 4 wedding scheduled. The venue is offering a weekday in December to reschedule at the same price but to reschedule for 2021 they will have to pay 2021 prices. It’s so disheartening for these kids to have to reschedule and they have to be so disappointed. And they are out a ton of money now. I can see couples just canceling the big wedding.
So if you wanted to send a check, I suspect that it would be welcomed for any additional expenses they might have by the reschedule
My daughter got married in the backyard with just Immediate family on 3/28 (supposed to have about 150 at a venue). They hope to have a party at some point but who knows. I think most people invited sent presents already and they just sent ou their thank you notes.