I would send a gift now
I checked the website for the venue where my S’s wedding (original date 3/21/20) is rescheduled to 8/8/20. It closed on March 27 and won’t reopen until at least 5/31. Summer prices were always more expensive but they weren’t charging any more for the August Saturday night. However, since we are in the NYC suburbs, I am not optimistic that this wedding will occur then, either. Since they only got married “in spirit” on 3/21, I wonder if they will choose to marry legally on 8/8 if we can’t have the celebration by then and maybe postpone that to their first “anniversary” next March if that is available.
As for gifts, since their wedding was cancelled literally 7 days prior, they’ve received most of their wedding gifts already and thank you notes have been sent. One less thing to worry about when they can finally celebrate with their friends and family, I guess! As for your situation @abasket, I guess I’m of the mind to send their wedding gift whenever you’d like to do so. Getting it now, if a check, may help with expenses if they are feeling pinched due to coronavirus circumstances. If it’s a gift, they may have fun enjoying it if they are spending time in a SIP location or during early days of reopening.
Thank you - I appreciate your opinions and current experiences!
They will be legally married next weekend with a vow renewal of sorts (basically a wedding but in front of others this time) and reception with guests “hoping” for August. I want to celebrate the MARRIAGE not the party thus my thinking to send the gift now.
I, personally, think that sentiment is lovely and will be much appreciated by the couple.
We live in the Pacific Northwest. DS and his fiancé live in NYC. Most of their friends, all of their coworkers, and her parents are in the northeast.
We’ve been resigned to a New York wedding for some time, but have hoped for an extra reception in the west for the benefit of all our family out here.
Fortunately they were able to escape New York just as things got bad there, and have been sheltering in place in our house with us for six weeks.
It’s worked very well for them, and for us. We have plenty of room, and the setting is unreal, with “to die for” views, bald eagles nesting in the trees, and the occasional whale sighting.
A few days ago the two of them asked if it would be ok if they were married at our house, with his GF adding that this is the one of the most beautiful places she’s ever been.
Coincidentally, I must have got a speck of dust in both eyes or something like that at that moment, because both eyes started watering a little. It must have been that, or perhaps an allergy. Manly men like me don’t cry.
I cannot express how happy it made me.
A family relative was supposed to have a wedding celebration (they actually are legally married already) in June. That celebration has been postponed for a year. We are sending the gift now.
@sherpa, that is an awesome story.
I hope it works out for all of you, even if they decide to do 2 celebrations.
My D and her fiancee just postponed their wedding from this August to next August. I feel badly for them but I’m impressed by their grace and positivity in handling the situation. It certainly bodes well for their future together.
They are hoping to get married on their original date this Aug. in an intimate (under 10 guest) ceremony so fingers crossed that will work out. If it is possible (depending on what is open) we may take a small private room at the place where their large wedding will be – the venue has been so gracious ever step of the journey so far and we’d like to support them in some small way. Hope that works out.
@happy1, that sounds like a wonderful plan. I’m hoping that my S and FDIL will soon decide to do the same, or something like it. Their rescheduled date (from 3/21) is August 8 and I see no way that is happening. I’d like them to do what your D and FSIL are doing and get married as soon as we can all be together and have the celebration next year. Best of luck to them. I agree that their grace and sense of flexibility will serve them well in marriage.
I agree about the grace. And eloping is our (really is “our”) fallback, too. No point being a bridezilla. (Just a MOBzilla on one point. Each time she brings up eloping, I’m fine with it but remind her I want to be there.)
D1 originally planned about 80. She’s dropping it back to just under 50. Drat those so-early Save the Dates, she has to uninvite some. Unfortunately, his family is large, they’ll be the bulk, but some distant relatives are probably coming off the list. She’s sending out brief note cards explaining the virus drives them to a more intimate ceremony. (A wedding planner idea I saw in an online article. )
I’ve lost 20 lbs since buying my dress. That’s good.
We are invited to a wedding across the country in August. The brides parents are amongst our best friends. It’s basically a destination wedding for all the guests and will require flying there.
I spoke with the MOH last week in response to the shower which I’m quite sure will be a Zoom event. MOH said…the bride and groom will have to make a decision by July 1. About 150 are invited…and it’s possible a group that large won’t be permitted (Colorado). Plus, social distancing at a wedding means tables spread very far apart with 4 seated at a table designed for 10. Dancing? Probably not. Cocktail hour? Not the food part easily as right now all food really needs to be single portion. They are also considering a smaller wedding with immediate family only…and a reception at a distant later date.
When they cancel, I get to deal with United Airlines…which I’m sure will be annoying. But my airline issues are nothing compared to what this wedding couple and their families must be feeling now.
@runnersmom I feel for you and your kids. We know a few people who have had to do a second postponement and that has to be even more frustrating. I was ready to postpone a month ago but I decided to wait for the kids to come to that conclusion on their own. It is better that they are part of the decision process and fully buy into the choices.
They had given it a good bit of thought before they told me they are ready to postpone. The two things the kids wanted were: 1) for the first ceremony to be immediate family only (parents, siblings, grandparents if they are comfortable coming and that’s it) – they didn’t want to have to draw a line, hurt some people’s feelings etc. and 2) they asked us to hire the judge for both the wedding and the vow renewal next year – they want the vow renewal in front of friends and family to feel meaningful.
It is all so hard that a joyous event has to be postponed but such is the world we live in. Let’s hope things improve sooner rather than later.
I wish D1 knew my judge friend who could marry them. He’s an all time great guy. And across the country. And would prioritize election work, anyway. Ok.
I volunteered to get certified. They didn’t turn me down, but the silence made the response clear. Let’s see. So far, everything I did bring up is/has been included. Not that that’s crucial. We all care about elegant and can manage that on a budget and small.
Definitely passed appetizers here. Heavy sorts since the sit down idea changed. I think that’s paid for, so obviously the caterer didn’t raise concerns.
Well my D texted us tonight and wants to put down a deposit on a Boston restaurant for a reception in May 2021. The original number of guests was 75 but it probably won’t be that many. The per-person cost is potentially pretty eye-watering (based on minimums) and I am hoping that the restaurant will still be in business next year. They really love the place (I love it too). It is currently doing curbside takeout, as so many are. I guess we will just do it. If things open up and business booms, I will be glad that we made the arrangements. If things are still shut down and the place goes out of business, we gambled and lost 3.5 K. The restaurant has been around for a while, and it’s part of a restaurant group (not independently capitalized), so I’m hoping it will make it. There will be pent-up demand for wedding venues. I don’t want her to get shut out.
Check the terms of any refund. While the original venue kept a few thou, the current one won’t withhold if it the cancel is covid related. That is, local govt closes everything. I might press the issue, not sure. Because the closure was a different decision than the couple. Not unlike, in ways, fire or flood. Can’t stick to your plans if no room is available.
@lookingforward you are fortunate that passed appetizers are allowed in your state (when is the wedding). Here in CT, that’s not going to be happening from what we have heard. We heard from a bride who says…no cocktail hour because they can’t pass appetizers or have ones just sitting out. There will be an appetizer course as part of the sit down dinner.
A relative owns a huge catering business in Ohio. No cocktail hours there either now.
We are waiting for a decision from the wedding couple for the August wedding near Denver. Apparently things are opening up…but a socially distanced wedding would mean no dancing, 4 to a table instead if 10. Things like that. I don’t know about the cocktail hour in CO. There was also supposed to be a meet and greet at a brew pub with pub food. Not sure if that can happen either. There are 150 guests, and it’s a destination type wedding as the only ones who live there are the bride and groom and a few friends. They are trying to figure out if the guests will be able/willing to travel there.
We need a cocktail hour before the dinner b/c we are shuttling people from the ceremony to the reception site, and the cocktail hour is the soft transport time. We will rent a trolley to transport guests to the reception b/c it is a 9-minute drive from the ceremony. Of course if the epidemic is still around, none of this can happen anyway.
Of course all the Boston hotels are still closed too. We plan on getting a block of rooms at a hotel very close to the ceremony venue. But again, all of this is a leap of faith.
In Colorado, a lot can be done if the reception is outside. More people allowed in the space and food and alcohol can be served even if the space is not actually part of the restaurants. Some streets are closing down so the bars and restaurants can spill over into the streets. Disposable plates and glasses are required I think for anything served. I don’t see why they couldn’t pass appetizers if the entire serving was on its own plate or napkin and served, not just set out. I think it will be a long time before buffets or self serve will be allowed.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of paper products required now for take out or dining in. I think they have to give you a new paper cup for every drink or refill.
My niece is supposed to get married in NYS in August. They haven’t called it off yet, but I’m not sure what will happen.
Oh, I also meant to add - regarding Boston-area hotels: because we’re moving DS25’s bar mitzvah out a year, I’ve been in touch with some area hotels. They seem to be taking event bookings for summer of 2021.