I used the numbering on the back of the RSVP cards for the bar mitzvah responses.
S and Fiancé are up north looking at a few venues this weekend. She has been wonderful texting pictures to me. She said they are realizing that they love the outdoors but they also want elegant and maybe they don’t want a venue that has camping.
@oldfort- I love those tables and the bouquets
@southmom what a beautiful venue and I love peonies.
My daughter was married in May, two weeks after Mother’s day but the costs of the flowers especially roses went up 30% because demand exceeded supply even then. I am sure 2 weeks before Mother’s day would result in price increase because the florists are hoarding them for Mother’s Day.
One of the pluses of ordering flowers from Costco was that the price did not change even though my daughter was married Thanksgiving weekend.
One wedding that we attended had very different and beautiful centerpieces: gift wrapped books that were going to be donated after the wedding.
When my son was married we had the rehearsal dinner here…70plus people. My son loves barbeque. We had a catered dinner that included pork ribs (lots of kosher people and vegetarians came as well.) We had a vegetarian table with the sides. Mac and cheese went over big. Beef and pork ribs (the latter on a separate table, clearly marked. ) All manner of beverages. And uber drivers for those people we felt might possibly drink too much.
Books are such a touching idea.
Since our wedding was outside and we were surrounded by nature we felt that floral arrangements were redundant and they took up too much real estate on the table. Instead we rented candelabra. The candle light really made the night time out door reception gorgeous.
D and FSIL sent out their save-the-dates today through Paperless Post. Things are getting real!
I love the idea of book(s) centerpieces. That’s going in the Mom file.
I’m glad D is going all online for invites. People will have to go to their website and put a check by their name if they are coming. I’m not sure how it handles +1’s but hopefully it will be clear that +1 doesn’t mean +10 or whatnot.
@HImom, two invited and ten attending! Did you say anything or did you have enough room to not worry about it?
It was distant relatives of my inlaws and they just shrugged and we just included them. My inlaws paid for them.
My daughter did paper invitations and on-line RSVP’s. When you RSVP’d there was your name and if someone else was included it would say “so and so’s party” with just one space. It was impossible to include more people than were invited. My daughter gave me admin privileges so either she, I or her fiancee could manually add guests or help out with people that just didn’t understand how to do it. We had no extra guests.
Dress and veil from Italy are due in March (ordered Dec 16 and 22). The veil is over half of the cost of what a store bought one would be of a cathedral length, and the super bonus is it is same lace as what is used on the dress. We ordered to DD’s measurements. Very hopeful it will all be exactly as expected. Bridesmaid dresses are arriving - under $100 (sale and extra discount on order, were originally $300) and bridesmaids have plenty of time for getting any alterations (full length, and some are use to having alterations due to shortness in height, and not exact dress size). Getting balance of wedding budget to DD’s account. Save the dates are out except for the 20 or so I have yet to get out. DD confiscated my address label machine, and we finally got around to getting the replacement one set up with computer to spit out address labels. DD received her first professional pay check, so the cash flow is good for her to budget out the remaining costs. FSIL and DD met with caterer on Monday and are receiving a detailed quote by Wed. So rolling, rolling. DD informed me that wedding ceremony is at 1:30 pm - fact I needed for priest friend - in case he can come and co-celebrate.
I’m now at the “scope out a rehearsal dinner location” stage. Given the size of the families and the “not” bridal party, our rehearsal dinner could end up being close to 1/2 the size of the wedding. Combine that with the location in NYC and it’s beginning to feel like planning a wedding. Has anyone had a dinner of that size (anywhere from 40-70 people)? Any advice for keeping costs to a semi-reasonable number? The number of out-of-town guests is the x factor at this point; I know how many will be there from our side, but not sure of the bride’s family’s guests.
Trend towards downplayed nuptials?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/forget-the-big-wedding-more-of-todays-couples-include-you-through-facebook/2017/01/05/ede13612-a52d-11e6-ba59-a7d93165c6d4_story.html?utm_term=.6e9c9fc8b312&wpisrc=nl_rainbow&wpmm=1
My daughter’s rehearsal dinner had 50 (max number on the floor we reserved) and my son had 60 at the rehearsal dinner in a restaurant on Long Island.
You will be surprised at the price differences on food when your event is not a wedding. Rehearsal dinners are so much less expensive.
runnersmom - I had D1’s engagement party at http://bkwinery.com/
I did heavy hors d’oeuvres and cocktails. I brought in flowers from Chelsea flower market. the only downside with the location was lack of parking, but very manageable with ubers and subway.
Everyone thought the food was great. It also had a great vibe. Everyone loved the venue.
DD and FSIL met with a fairly price friendly caterer (we are in the South - not east coast/west coast prices). Appetizers and meal will run $25/person according to the written details - not bad IMHO. They are not going fancy from what DD told me, but I believe caterer will have a delicious meal. Groom’s cake will be made w/o cow’s milk/products due to allergy of several family members including the groom, a genetic thing - can use goat’s milk - they have a cake maker in mind to make both cakes, but that is the next thing for them to follow up with.
Rehearsal dinner is also going to be price friendly - have a nice space that can dine 200 - w/o charge (tables/chairs are there, although it may have less tables/chairs and some may need to be brought in) - groom’s parents will host out of town guests with this dinner. DD and FSIL are coordinating and lining up things. I imagine we will have more than 50 there, but until we do see how many out of area guests are coming to get a better count.
Weddings can go both extremes in costs/formality, but it is nice to have a really nice wedding/dinner/hotel without extremely high costs. Want everyone to have a nice experience, and be able to say it was a wonderful wedding.
Thanks for the responses. @SOSConcern, I know I could do this for less if we stayed in the 'burbs (maybe even at home, like I know @bevhills did) where we live, but the entire wedding weekend will be in the city. However, I totally agree that the goal is for everyone to walk away smiling, having had a fun experience to begin the festivities. Thanks for the Brooklyn Winery review @oldfort…my biggest concern there is that it’s a little too formal for what we want, but it’s still on my list! I’m trying to keep the ambiance as different from the wedding the next day as possible. I think we, too, will opt for either a buffet or heavy hors d’oeuvres and stations to distinguish it from the sit-down dinner planned for the wedding. I also need AV capability as there will be many video/musical tributes to the couple, or so I’m told!
Right now I’m looking at venues (hate to pay a site fee for this but may have no choice) and private rooms at restaurants in lower Manhattan and Brooklyn. The wedding is September 3, so the rehearsal dinner is a Saturday night, which also limits some things.
Curious about how far in advance you send out Save the Date cards/notifications. We have another wedding in family and talking to the mom she said it was stressful since you can add but can’t make cuts to invite list once Save the Dates go out. These were not a thing when I got married. On balance, is it worth it since people so busy? Have you been to/planned a wedding without them?
@doschicos I like the idea of “intimate small-scale weddings” It seems less stressful and more fun for the couple. It’s nice to have a wedding with just close family and friends. In smaller receptions the couple gets to interact more with all the guests and it’s more relaxed.
Centerpieces: As we all know centerpieces can be very expensive. Be it the books…even children’s books…are expensive. Flowers and fruit…costly. So…at the venue where our son was married offered a free centerpiece for every table: rose pedals (usually red) and candles. It is beautiful. Truly.
(we didn’t do it that way…bride’s mom wanted “real” centerpieces. They were gorgeous. (honestly took my breathe away)
@scmom12 4-8 months in advance is the norm, I believe. I think it’s worth it…especially if you have guests that need to make flight reservations, or put in for vacation time, etc.