My kid that got married recently had a book to sign. And they had a Polaroid camera, you took a picture and there was a spot to put the picture.
I think every wedding I’ve been to has a book to sign but then we are very midwestern
@greenbutton i think that’s one of those things I would just smile and nod about.
If this is part of your religious ceremony, they could walk up the bread and wine.
Otherwise, they could wear corsages/bouteniers and be given special tasks like handing out bird seed/bubbles etc
I can understand having very close friends that you don’t want to include in the wedding party but still want to let them know they are special to you and want to include them somehow. There can be a lot of drama with attendants, whether it’s personality conflicts between the attendants, or wanting to avoid creating a financial imposition for your friend (cost of special dress/tux/jewelry, cost of bachelor/ette party, cost of shower), or tight budgets for the wedding couple (gift for attendants, expectations to pay for attendants hair/makeup, number of people in limo and cost etc).
In addition to the book signer person, I’ve also seen people hand out programs.
@greenbutton smile and nod is not a bad idea. 
But just thinking anyway…
Greeting people as they enter the venue? Or the reception? Seating people? (is that a thing anymore - D didn’t do that at her wedding because the ceremony was in the same room as the reception so people just sat at their tables).
Assist with any little people? (flower girls, ring bearer)
Maybe they just arrange some special photos with these “extra” special people. Or have a special fun dance with the group during the reception that is just them on the dance floor.
I may have mentioned this before, but back in the late 1970’s my best friend and her H were both escorted down the aisle by both parents (Catholic church wedding). I know the bridegroom had family who are Jewish so maybe that was where they had seen that before. I liked that so much that H and I did that at our own wedding. D and SIL also did this.
A friend can serve as the emcee at the reception, introduce the couple and the wedding party, etc.
Every event I attend has people greet guests and have them sign in and give any programs or table #s, etc.
Wow so interesting that what’s common varies so much. My best friend’s husband’s relatives were from the South and 20 years ago had never been to a wedding where an entire meal sit down was served (there it was just cake and punch…or if really nice drinks and appetizers). Here that has been the standard since my parents got married 70 years ago.
In HI, meals are standard for weddings and nearly all parties and celebrations. My college friends sometimes just had beverages and cake / dessert for their weddings.
I don’t know if there is a “standard” kind of wedding in many parts of the country or among many couples anymore - and in many cases, I think that is a very good thing!
Do away with cookie cutter weddings! 
There’s definitely a typical engagement and wedding here in my Midwest Jewish area . I’d say about 80 percent follow this formula.
couple has decided to marry and go to look at riings. So bride knows she’s getting engaged but not exactly when the official ask will occur. But parents told in advance.
Groom arranges the “ ask”. A party with family and close friends of the couple follow. Party is typically 25-40 people. Often at a restaurant where the couple had a first date.
Large wedding parties put together with 6-10+ bridesmaids and groomsmen. They get “ask” gift boxes and a note
Bride and groom have destination bach parties. Nashville and Phoenix typical for bride. Vegas, Mexico and ( for some reason right now) Canada for groom.
Mom’s friends throw a shower for the bride at country club or restaurant. Groom attends at the end and brings bride flowers.
Rehearsal dinner for close family, bridal party and out of town era.
ceremony at a hotel or special event space ( botanic garden, museum etc…) Both parents walk their child down the aisle. Rabbi officiates. Couples usually don’t write their own vows. No readings.
open bar and appetizers to follow while they “ turn the room” where ceremony took place
Sit down dinner
Large band and lots of dancing.
An “ after party” in same location. Meaning young people stay. Music gets louder. fun food….like milkshakes burgers and fries. Pizza. Warm chocolate chip cookies or an ice cream cart.
brunch the next day for out of towners.
I mean, to me that just sounds like a wedding “with all the fixings” - not a negative statement, just someone chose all the items on the wedding menu of choices!
Very nice, and great if that’s what the couple actually wants. And I’ve def gone to weddings following that course of events - even if not Jewish.
So true about a lot of ‘southern weddings’ more in the past being cake and punch reception in church hall - often the non-Catholic and non-Jewish (which years ago had less population of these faiths except for LA Catholics). Where I grew up in WI, some weddings were bare bones like this; some had a meal reception like at VFW or other community place and perhaps had mom’s friends help with pulling the meal together.
A couple and I recently talked about how in the past the couple announced engagement with a wedding date set - in part for the newspaper announcement – but in many areas news is no longer in print. “Ring and a wedding date”. DH and I skipped the diamond ring engagement ring with us using money for down payment on a house (we moved in 3 months after the wedding - and used the cash from wedding gifts for major appliances, refrigerator, washer/dryer); I got my diamond at 10-year anniversary.
This is pretty much what I’ve seen here in the south among my D’s friend group - except we also threw an engagement party at our home with 70+ people (definitely out of my more introverted comfort zone but it turns out I throw a great party!) Riding high on my engagement party success, I also had her shower at my house - 30+ people, and her MIL had a “couples shower” at her house.
Bach parties for both- but to my D’s credit, she had hers at a friend’s beach house 3 hours from home, so it was a very affordable, not over-the-top weekend, compared to some of the others she’s been to.
Looking back (my D has been married for almost 3 years) the process was a lot of fun but also very exhausting. My younger D is more like me and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight - so I anticipate a much more subdued experience all around when she decides to get married.
Does it have to be “day of”?
My DD had some friends she wanted included but she didn’t want more than 4 in her wedding party. Those friends were invited to the bachelorette festivities (in our case, they were the couple of days before the wedding…with lodging and food provided).
DD similarly was invited to two bachelorette parties for good friends. She wasn’t in either wedding party but was happy to be included in this way.
Excellent question – I don’t know much about any potential bachelor/ette events but that might be a solution. I suggested that since there is lots of scouting to be done, maybe a couple of these people could coordinate research on florists, cake, games for the little kids, etc. and report back to the couple? They seemed to like that idea.
The wedding is not near us, family of bride, or the bride/groom so that makes organization a bit more important. FDIL is not a foodie, current DIL is , and offered to liase with the caterer about the menu and create two choices.Current DIL is one of the non-bridsmaids.
It would seem that while it’s noted that some of the “traditional weddings” can be regional or faith related, it can’t be denied that these must also be $$ related. A good segment of the population could not manage or decide smartly to have all these components.
Many years ago (early 1970s?), I was invited to a wedding somewhere in the South (Memphis? Mississippi? I don’t remember) with ceremony in Protestant church followed by fruit punch, coffee and cookies reception, and a wedding cake at the end. Several guests made no secret of carrying a flask of their favorite alcoholic beverage, acquired by driving many miles since the wedding was in a dry county.
All the weddings I had attended previously involved a lot of food and plenty to drink, including alcohol.
All of the weddings in my midwest rural community served a meal at the reception (usually buffet style) as well as open bar. I have only attended one “cake and punch” reception and that was in DC area.
The first time I ever heard the term “engagement party” was here on cc. Definitely not a thing where I am from.
