That is gorgeous! Hope it fits well, and you love it.
I love the Kay Unger dresses - so classic! Love the tailoring of them. Thatâs a beautiful dress!
That is beautiful - they call it a walk thru jumpsuit, whatever that means. It looks comfortable!
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One word of warning for those of you planning weddings. Ask someone to pick up wedding cards and put them in a secure place during the reception. My daughter got married earlier this month and I witnessed a person run in from the street, directly to her guest book and card box. The person saw the lock on the box and turned around and ran back out. He/She caught my attention because they literally ran in and out and wore a gaiter and stocking cap.
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FDiL and S1 telling me that there is a group of 30 people they want to âsound outâ about attending, BEFORE sending the Save the Dates? I flunked tactful input, saying wait, you want to screen the save the dates? Why?
I donât understand at all. They will be invited regardless; apparently this is just to feel safe in inflating the guest list? Or something? Seems so rude to me. And they still havenât settled on a time (I have been repeating ânot my problemâ in my head a lot)
FDiL also volunteered that MOB has chosen 3 dresses, none floor length. To think of the hours I have spent trying to choose floor length gowns only to hear thisâŠ
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The mother of the groom picked out her dress before mine. When I asked about it, I was told it was just a dress.
So at least you know that the MOB decided she didnât want to wear a long dress.
Saying that, the dress you picked is gorgeous!
I donât even know what to say about wedding plans, I mostly had to smile and nod. Because it was so foreign to me. But exasperating!
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Iâm exhausted already from their competing desires of asking us to be engaged in the process but never actually wanting it. No matter what I say, itâs wrong.
But the dress will come soon. I can always just send it back
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I had a friend who gave me the best advice as a MOG. They donât really want your opinion, let alone unsolicited opinions and comments. Just say âsounds greatâ, to whatever they talk about and mean it.
I said so many times to my friends, ânot my weddingâ.
But the main concern was keeping good feelings with DIL at all times. That meant not giving opinions to my son in private, which he might repeat.
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Oh that is the hardest! I am no shrinking violet and not giving an opinion to my kids is so HARD! I didnât know it would be this hard!
I agree that they say they want our input but actually donât.
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I always understood they donât actually want our input, and S2âs wedding was a pleasure to be part of so itâs not as if I have no practice keeping my mouth shut.
But S1 went out of his way, and so has FDiL , to share how disappointing the MOB has been in the past (she is perceived as insufficiently engaged) . S1 told me to be sure to be better. I am trying to follow their prompts but it is basically impossible.
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I just smiled and nodded as MOG and was available to do whatever S& DIL wanted. S said not to have guests at our homeâok. He wanted us available to print table tents-fine. He wanted me to research places for rehearsal mealâsure here are some menus from venues. He wanted me to buy xx bottles of a b c d e f from costcoâsure. Make a deposit on venueâno problem. We even had a brunch the day after at my sisterâs. We even went & returned unneeded booze.
I still donât have MOBâs contact info and although she appears a lovely person I havenât spoken much to her. The wedding and reception were lovely.
Hopefully I will get to know MOB and family better in the future.
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An article about destination weddings that seem so popular now
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Couples are welcome to choose whatever venue they want for their wedding. Invitees are just as welcome to say no. I donât see any issue here.
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My ds is attending a wedding in Thailand in January. Neither bride nor groom has a connection to Thailand. have no idea if the couple is assisting with any costs, but there are four or five events, each with a dress code. Itâs an Indian wedding, with some events calling for Indian attire and some for Western attire.
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My niece and husband had a destination wedding at a great island resort off the west coast of Florida. They and his family lived nearby and her family lived mostly in St. Croix (with my part of her family in NYC, Boston area, and LA area).
It was very expensive fly to nearby airport, rent a car to drive to ferry to the resort, to rent on the island, spend a few days, attend the wedding on the beach, drive back to the airport, and go home. Locals could have just come to the ceremony and reception, then home.
The brideâs mom made a lovely reception in her home on STX. Some family had moved to the states but found it much more practical to plan a trip home for at least a few days.
Example of one.
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In the article example, methinks the invitees should have said âmaybeâ until they had all the info. They were feeling a bit of bait/switch once realizing the location was not actually in Barcelona (an easy city for transportation) and that the villa expense was to be shared.
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About whatever you say being wrong, in your situation where your S and FDIL want input, I wonder if your comments are nonetheless helpful. Iâm thinking back on a time in my life where I asked a friend of mine for her opinions multiple times over the course of a year, and she got frustrated with me because I never took her advice yet kept asking for it. The advice was actually really helpful. I thought about it, twirled it around in my head and decided that the suggested route wasnât for me, but it was extremely helpful because it helped clarify my thoughts and how I wanted to handle things. Maybe the same thing is going on with your S and DIL?
And even if your advice isnât helpful to them, it sounds like they like that you are thinking of them and their plans, and that your attention makes them feel good.
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The last line of the article was interesting, namely that the over-the-top destination wedding was for a marriage that only lasted 1 year. Ive read multiple places that the most expensive weddings are sometimes the shortest marriages. It sounds like in some cases the couple is more about the event rather than the marriage.
My D is just starting to plan her wedding 2 years from now. Iâm extremely happy about who she is marrying and the hoped for lives they will share together. I think that they both complement each other and they have their heads on straight. But the wedding itself, I have mixed thoughts on that. Iâm just not that into events and it really doesnât feel good to me to spend all that money on a single day rather than give it to them for a down payment on a house. I have to remind myself that this is really their choice about how they want to start their lives. Itâs probably good the wedding is so far out time-wise so I can engage in a lot of self-talk about how important this particular day is to them and how important it is to celebrate it properly.
Given how expensive wedding receptions are, I did suggest to my D that she look into a destination wedding because I thought she could spend either the same amount or less money and get a venue that is more beautiful, and have it be a whole weekend event over 3 days rather than a 5 hour reception. I felt sheâd get a lot more bang for the buck and that would feel better for me. But D & FSIL nixed that, saying that too many people who are important in their lives wouldnât be able to afford to come then, and it was important to them to have those people present to celebrate the beginning of their lives together. Theyâre right. Back to me engaging in self talk to make myself be ok with spending that much money on 5 hours.
Iâm always saying to DH âyou canât tell him that, he might say somethingâ. Of course itâs his wife now, so he has every right to tell her things. I agree, Iâve always spoken my mind, so itâs hard. Iâm finding the boys tell each other stuff, so now Iâm even careful on what I say to each of them if I donât want it repeated.
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I think âengagedâ to them may just mean being excited at whatever they choose. They just want support and a cheerleader.
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