My D had a small cake that she and SIL cut then they just had various cupcakes and desserts. They did not want the big wedding cake. I thought this worked very well.
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I have not seen a huge wedding cake in years. Usually itâs a small cake, with extra layers that the servers plate and serve. Or cupcakes, sweet tables, cookie tables.
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Same! D1 did not have a traditional wedding cake either. A small one for her and groom (which she said was not all that great anyway) and two sheet cakes from a local Japanese bakery that were AMAZING.
While we think we know âeverythingâ about how our families and friends make their choices for something like a wedding, in fact we donât. And itâs none of our business. Whether someone has an âonlyâ child or 10 children their choices are their choices for their own reasons. Maybe lavish flowers came through a family member. Maybe an aunt said âI love flowers so much, hereâs $2k for flowersâ - we donât know, we donât need to know, we are there to celebrate and enjoy. And keep our judgements to ourselves. 
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D and SIL had a traditional 3 tier wedding cake. They did a cake tasting before â the cake was lovely and delicious. (No formal cake cutting thing though.) We also had a few plates of assorted small desserts brought to every table. Worked out beautifully.
But as with everything, people should do what makes them happy.
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Adding to your post to say I LOVE a good tiered wedding cake to eat. But I can like many, many fine desserts to eat at a wedding. Raise a glass 
to âto each their ownâ!
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In my day, the cakes were often elaborate, with bridges and figurines gracing cakes that needed a banquet table. That is what I have not seen in years, although I imagine that some still choose the elaborate cake. To each their own!
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We attended an elaborate wedding a couple of years ago, where the bride had no interest in a large, tiered wedding cake. We were friends with the groom and his parents. My friend, the mother of the groom, wouldnât have cared herself, but she sure knew her 85-year-old mother (grandmother of the groom) would. She said, âMy mother thinks you cannot leave a wedding reception until youâve had a piece of wedding cake.â So the groomâs family sprung for the large, traditional, tiered wedding cake. No one minded, thankfully.
Itâs one thing for those of us in our 60s to be kinda, âlet them do what they want.â But for relatives older than that, the maintaining of certain traditions may be very important. And, Iâm sure there are plenty in their 60s that feel that way about various traditions as well.
I am a big fan of the pile approach - just giving the couple money and letting them spend it how they want. However, I am sure some people attach strings. Power of the purse and all that.
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I am happy to see any and all desserts. Cake, cookies, ice cream â I have an open mind and an open mouth 
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I think more couples are doing what they like/want with respect to wedding plans. Personally, I think thatâs great, especially with respect to dinners and food.
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I have seen others with dessert table choices.
In the south, there often is a groomâs cake in addition to the bridal cake (my DD1/SIL had this) - their groomâs cake was chocolate. The movie Steel Magnoliaâs was a good example with the groomâs cake.
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My daughter made her decision not to have a large and expensive wedding cake after attending a dozen or so weddings before hers and seeing all the uneaten cake slices at the tables and the leftover half-eaten cake that likely cost $$$$. Her Publix cake/cupcakes were delish! Some brides/grooms are doing away with the whole cake-cutting/face-smashing altogether.
My son-in-law is a southern boy. His mom insisted on doing a groomâs cake, but my daughter mandated it be served at the rehearsal dinner and not the wedding reception. It went largely uneaten and cost a pretty penny since it was so unique.
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Iâve never seen a grooms cake. One of my kids had a small cake from a local grocery store for her and her groom. It got decorated with flowers. I canât recall if they cut it as part of the reception. For dessert they had assorted small desserts and a soft serve ice cream bar. Other daughter had a cookie cake which while a decent size wouldnât have served everyone a slice. The venue provided a nice dessert bar.
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My nephewâs MIL insisted on a cake, and insisted it be from a gourmet bakery (she paid). The B&G wanted, and got, an ice cream sundae bar, with rice krispie treats and a few other things. They did cut the cake for pictures and I did have a piece (okay, not great).
They also had a pizza oven at about the same time for âlate nightâ but it wasnât that long after dinner and I donât think it was that popular.
It was a beautiful wedding, but this was one area I think was a flop. There wasnât enough (any) lighting for the dessert table/pizza, and many people didnât even know it was there. Finally two of the bridesmaids brought over some candles from the dinner tables but it was still dark.
One daughter had a small cake for cutting (she took the whole thing home and ate it over the next few weeks, and gave some to people who couldnât go to the wedding and I thought that was nice) and cupcakes. The other D had a chocolate cake with cherry? sauce served with dinner. No other cake.
Yep, three kids born in 1996, cousins, married within 9 months. Three very different weddings, with three very different price tags.
My niece married a guy whose folks like in OKC. He had a cute groomâs cake which was decorated and served at rehearsal dinner.
S/DIL had assorted desserts plus is served slices of cake to anyone interested. They had a small cake 3 tier they used for cake cutting. The lady who made it used to work at a law office and make cakes for fun. She switched to making cakes full time and is making a lot more money and is in high demand.
I know a young woman who went to school in the south and was in a sorority. The weddings she has been in have a lot of extras we donât see in the west.
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One of the things I love about CC is learning about customs in different regions of the country.
I admit that I have not seen any groom cakes recently, but they were pretty standard when I got married (in the South).
There were only 28 people at our wedding (including dh and me), but we still had two cakes (one being a groomâs cake). Of course, that was over 36 years ago.
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Speaking of wedding traditions that I have not seen in years - placing flowers at the statue of the Blessed Virgin in a Catholic Church. I kind of suspect that it might have been a Polish tradition, but Iâm not sure.
I got married in a Catholic Church and am Polish and we placed flowers at the statue of Mary! 40+ years ago!
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Me, too - 40+ years ago & Iâm Polish.
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Iâm not Polish, my parents were immigrants from Croatia; I attended many Croatian weddings as a young person and the brides placed flowers at the statue of Mary.
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