I babysat GDs while the parents went to France for a wedding. It was in southern France, so it was quite a bit of effort and costs for people to get there. I asked D1 how was the wedding. She said there was 3 hours of cocktails without a lot of food, and dinner was a veal stew. D1 is a big eater (don’t know where she puts it), so they ordered room service after the wedding. But she did say the wedding was beautiful.
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My daughter’s wedding was this weekend. It was perfect and I’m exhausted. We had a dinner (the night before) at our house and spent lots of time getting the house and garden ready. Weather was cold, but no rain. All the craziness before the wedding resolved itself (We had to get a permit for a tent and the town denied it 4 days before the wedding!!!) I think everyone had a great time. My other D, SIL, and GD are here for 5 more days so that’s a bonus. GD was a wonderful flower girl.
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I hope your guests were able to still enjoy your outdoor setting! Congrats!
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Congrats to the family!
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We also are hosting rehearsal dinner at our home. I’ve been seeding bare spots in the lawn, cleaning up, and tending flowers. DH has been cleaning the garage pretty thoroughly. The food will be set in there, but unless it’s rainy, people will eat outside. The 10 day forecast is calling for storms Tues-Thur of next week, but 81 and calm on Friday/Saturday! 
My other biggest concern is all the STUFF we need to get to the reception venue. Some decorations and then just lots of drinks and coolers. The caterer will have water and lemonade, but when they pick up that goes away and the venue does not run a bar. So all the alcohol, pop, water, is on us for the rest of the evening. It’s just so bulky lol.
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Don’t be shy about accepting some help on that task from friends and family who offer assistance.
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We found it really helpful to enlist friends who were not going to be at the rehearsal as transport people. And for photos after the ceremony, one of the bridesmaid’s moms (who was not at the wedding) offered to drive stuff to the reception and definitely jumpon those offers!!
We have barely 8 weeks to go, but my inlaws finally bought plane tickets!
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That sounds like so much work to host at home. I give you all a lot of credit!
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I had to go to my town hall today for something and just before me was a couple waiting to get married. It was so nice to see! The bride looked lovely in a casual white dress with espedrilles and flowing hair. They were youth and optimism personified. Seeing them totally made my day.
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My daughter’s legal marriage ceremony was like that. Very casual. Her wedding was the opposite. I’d say about 1/4 of my friends ended up telling me that their children had also had a low key legal marriage before their big fancy wedding. Most people only told me because we were open about it. They were keeping it a secret because they were afraid people wouldn’t take the wedding as seriously if they knew the couple was legally married. Most did it for the same reason my kid did. Lived in a different state than the wedding and the marriage license requirements were too annoying to deal with in another states ( had to apply in person and then go back and pick up in person a week or more later
. A few did it because the bride or groom was about to turn 26 and needed the insurance from their partner but wedding was still a few months /a year away.
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My daughter is doing it the opposite way. She had the destination wedding in Spain in March (3/10) and is registering her marriage in Oct (10/3). Why? It was too difficult to get a license in Spain and they had been planning to get married in Colorado in Oct, so will just register it on that date. Colorado has common law marriage so nothing is require, but life is so much easier if you just have a paper license for all future documentation needs.
My other daughter got a license in TN but the minister could marry them in IN and then they filed the license in TN.
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I loved the casual look. So happy. No stress.
I really like the idea of 2 separate days. One for just the couple so they can concentrate on each other. The other to share their happiness with others.
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Wow, I’m surprised that it’s 1/4 of your friends. That seems like a lot. I wonder whether that’s becoming more popular in the general population, or whether your friend group is an anomaly.
Perhaps it happened more in Covid era, where the big gatherings were not possible.
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I think it’s that so many of my friends kids had destination weddings or got married here but live out of state. And then there’s the insurance issue. But I would never have known if I hadn’t been so open about ours daughter’s circumstances
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My niece also got married before her big wedding. Why? She was marrying an alien! A Canadian, and they wanted to get going on his green card paperwork so he could live and work in the US. They arranged to get married in Texas where her mother lived, but the officiant failed to show so her stepfather did a ceremony with just their family there, then they went to the courthouse a few days later (and I think it was over new years so a different year). She was living in Montana, he was living in Vancouver Canada, and they got married in Washington State about 6 months later. The green card processing took 2 years, 2 trips to Montreal, and one hired lawyer to complete for a very very minor issue. They then moved to Washington State for 10ish years, and now live in Mexico.
I know several Covid weddings that were initially small or court house weddings with the big celebrations later.
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If I recall, Virginia did not allow internet-granted officiants (sorry, can’t remember the name).
We had a bit of a compromise with our first couple. They had a very small Friday night (official) Catholic wedding in our church, which frankly wasn’t convenient to any reception venue.
Then, on Saturday, they had their preferred ceremony performed by an unlicensed friend at a charming location.
This was just two months before Covid — so we didn’t know we were starting a trend!
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My D and SIL married in 2024 with just immediate family at our home in California for the same reasons twoinanddone cited…they wanted to get started on their paperwork to come (back) to the states. They live in Europe and my SIL is South African. They are having their wedding in September in Italy so we’re in the midst of planning.
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D went to a close friend’s wedding last December. I was very surprised when I saw the pictures - very casual, although the bride was in white. D said it was a surprise to most of the friends, but her friend had actually gotten married several months before (visa reasons for her H) but they chose not to disclose it so wedding guests wouldn’t be upset.
I heard a very similar story from another wedding this past April.
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I actually was surprised my D did not go get legally married before her actual wedding. Her husband is in the military and they were already living together so I just thought it would make things easier, having access to his benefits, esp since he was deployed for six months prior to their wedding. I even sort of mentioned/suggested this to her (my friend had done it 30 yrs ago but never told anyone to well after their “big” wedding). It would not have bothered me if they had decided to.
Then when I was visiting her six or so months before the wedding, there was a dog training certificate on her fridge that had both their names on it and listed her with his last name. I was like, “uh, is there something you’re not telling me?” She laughed and said no, the place just assumed they were married. In fact she has been married almost two years now and still hasn’t changed her name. She plans to, but didn’t when they initially married b/c she was worried about getting her passport back in time for planned int’l travel. And now it’s just one of those things she has procrastinated. I thought maybe she didn’t want to change her name but she said she’s just been lazy.
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