Very cute dress! Nice price too!
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This coming Saturday in Napa! Venue is a winery with the ceremony outside and reception inside. The venue required our D and future SIL to hire a ārecommendedā planner, who has done a great job AFAIK. The winery has its own chef/catering on premise (the food tasting to choose the apps for the happy hour and food for the dinner were incredible). We also tasted about 25 wines and chose 9. The down side of a winery is that regular cocktails are not available.
There will be 150 guests. Little to no drama. We made strict rules on extended family because my spouse and I have a lot of cousins, aunts and uncles. I was able to get in my college buddies and their spouses (we pay for any overage of our quota). The rehearsal dinner will be at a well known farm to table restaurant and the Sunday brunch will be at an iconic roadside burger joint.
We are really fortunate in our future SIL and his family. Similar values, similar level of education (and approach to education ā the dad graduated from the same law school as me). We always have great conversations. The kids have been together since senior year of college, so compatibility should be no issue.
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Congratulations! If you donāt mind sharing (or sending me a PM), I would love to know the approx price range of a Napa wedding with 150 guests. My D is thinking of doing something similar in N. CA and the numbers sheās thrown out are crazy high. They are paying for it themselves with a set cobtribution amt from each set of parents so itās not our $ but stillā¦ Maybe I just donāt have a realistic idea of what things should costā¦
I am sure you looked, but Google says $100,000 is close to average.
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Sonoma is generally less expensive than Napa
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I just wrote my D a ācheckā, but I have been helping them look at the venue/catering contract. That amount (venue (inclusive of tables, chairs, linens, etc..), catering and wine, inclusive of service charge and tax comes out to about $45k. So this does not include the planner, flowers, clothes/dress and entertainment. This does not include the bus they hired to take people to and from the wedding venue to the blocked hotel or the rehearsal and post wedding brunch.
They chose one of the nicer venues, but there are cheaper ones out there. They opted for the āmiddleā menu of apps, entrees and desserts. There was a lower tier and a higher tier (involving either less or more courses/apps). There was also a la carte add ons (I think D added some desserts vs having a big lavish cake). They chose 9 wines of various costs, and we expect there will be extra, but who knows?
I think all in, D and SIL were shooting for $65 to $70K. Not sure if they met their total budget.
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Reading this thread makes me very glad DD went for a 15 person micro wedding in their own home! Cost? Maybe $1,000 including a dress, suit, food, decor, drinks. I told them my contribution when they got engaged and suggested that they could use it towards a house down payment vs wedding if they preferred. They made the right choice for them.
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Wow, that $45k pays for a lot! So compared to what we were quoted here in WA for a wedding at a winery-ish lodge for 100 people not including the wine and food, it seems reasonable! Canāt believe Iām saying $45k is reasonable lol but I was expecting to hear way more! 
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@lemonlee Goskid#2 is planning a June 2026 Napa wedding. Iād be delighted for them if it were only $45Kā¦but guessing @BKSquaredās $65 to $70 is probably more realistic.
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I asked my daughter and she thought the wedding itself, reception, flowers, DJ, transportation and catering was around 30,000 for 110 people in 2019 on Sonoma county coast. The wedding planner, cake which was from a local grocery store, Friday night dinner and all the clothing including dress was on top of that.
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I think wedding costs have skyrocketed since Covid, so anything more than 2 years ago or so might be pretty different from cost now. Sad to say.
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Definitely skyrocketed.
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Wow - I agree with BunsenBurner that the $45k seems to cover a lot, especially for a Napa wedding. Thanks for sharing that. Making me feel more hopeful that the venues D and FSIL are looking at will be in the same range.
Question for our Jewish friends: we received an electronic invitation to the wedding of a daughter of someone who is in Hās business network. The invitation was a complete surprise to us as we do not know the bride and groom and I have only met the brideās parents at one event. So not someone I can go to with my question. The invitation says āā¦inviting you to celebrate the marriage of their childrenā¦ at two oāclock in the afternoon. Chuppah at three.ā What is the significance of the two stated times? I have only been to one other Jewish wedding but there were not separate times listed on the invitation and the Chuppah was part of the ceremony. Also, the e-vite does not state āreception to followā. Is that customary/assumed, or have we been invited only to the ceremony? There is no other information provided except the Will Attend/Will Not Attend buttons.
Is it likely this is an Orthodox wedding? I found the below timeline. One of husbandās relatives had a ceremony very much like this - we didnāt attend but I watched some of it live stream. It was a continuous process with food and drink at various points and in different rooms of the venue, so no separate reception per se. They may have listed the separate times so that guests who wanted to start at the actual āweddingā could arrive for the Chuppah and following.
If not Orthodox, no idea!
https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/29602/how-long-is-a-jewish-wedding
At least one Jewish wedding Iāve seen on āFour Weddingsā had about an hour before the ceremony with food and drinks and the veil ceremony. It was at an enormous synagogue so plenty of room for everything. After that, there was a big sit down reception at the same venue.
Itās common among the Orthodox to have the Badeken first before the ceremony. . The Badeken ā Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #4 - Smashing the Glass | Jewish Wedding Blog
Yes, at some more conservative events (not necessarily orthodox , where the men and women would be seated separately) there is a signing of the ketubah before the ceremony and the āveilingā.
Thanks all for educating me. I am guessing that it is as @jym626 noted - conservative but not orthodox. Sounds like a long event for those of us who do not know the bridal couple, family and most of the guests (and for me as a social introvert!) I do, however, love the emphasis put on the marriage itself and the Jewish wedding traditions - especially in these days of many couples opting for a short non-religious ceremony and then off to the party.
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You must be getting very excited! Only a few more days!
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