My opinion. I’m not going to look to Google for this very personal and situational question. And I personally sort of hate that this is an expectation with a time stamp. I know I’m in the minority for that!
I think the solution should be that thank yous take the form of whatever works best for the couple. Be that a hand written specific and personal note or an email of thanks woth an attached picture of the couple or a generated post card with their picture and a printed thank you message with maybe room for personal signatures or very few words.
If it’s near a year from the wedding date I’d present it that way. “As we near our first anniversary we thank you for being part of our special night” - again with a picture of the couple as the front of the thank you - maybe a pic from their honeymoon
H did a fabulous job with his FOB speech. Short, a little funny, a lot touching. Made sure to mention SIL (heard too many speeches that didn’t even mention the partner until the toast). We’ve been to plenty of weddings before D’s wedding, so he knew which ones went over well and which did not. He’s used to speaking in public and has honed his skills over the years.
I vote for under two months. I gave D & SIL personalized note cards/envelopes/stamps before their wedding. Told them that if they put it off, life will get in the way.
Thank you notes were on D and SIL. She wrote the ones to our family and her friends and he did his. She had to prod him a bit but they were sent out within a few months.
What’s up with that? I would have thought from the speeches from the groom’s side at my daughter’s wedding that the groom was marrying the best man and not my daughter. It was very odd
Daughter wanted no speeches but the groom’s side ignored that. We, her parents, made an impromptu speech as did the maid of honor. Thought I did a good job with absolutely no preparation! I definitely made mention of the groom as our always and forever family.
Once upon a time, decades ago, I do think that one year maximum timeframe was mentioned in etiquette books. Now it routinely says 8 weeks to three months. I know we kept up with the thanks yous as gifts arrived, even dashing off a few on the wedding night in our hotel room. (We’d been together for ten years so that wasn’t a priority.)
My nephew was the first one to get married of our next generation. His father in law had quite a bit of drinks when he gave the speech. He went on and on for a long time. After that experience, all weddings after that people were limited to 5 minutes. D1 even had her bridesmaid to review all speeches. She didn’t want any embarrassing or dirty jokes. I did the welcome speech during the cocktail hour and it was less than a minute.
My daughter had all of hers out 20 days after the wedding. She’s very determined about things like this and made herself a schedule. She wrote75. Her husband wrote about the same number.
I don’t know if there’s any hard rule on thank you notes but I just think it’s good manners to get them out timely. My son had his done within 2 months, they were beautifully written and my DIL was probably the same way with hers. Like someone said upthread, life gets in the way so better to get them done.
I am coming back to report on my son’s wedding on the 23rd. The ceremony was in the Assembly chamber of the Wisconsin State Capitol. It was a lovely setting. The bride’s and groom’s vows were amazing. Heartfelt, vulnerable. Then we did pictures, and walked to the garden of the Madison Children’s Museum for outdoor soft drinks. Then, we all went inside the Museum and had a wonderful night of food, drinks, speeches, and dancing, and lots and lots of mingling. Kids were invited and there were lots of kids.
Since we are talking about speeches, mother and father of bride did their speeches, then my husband did his (3 minutes) and I did mine (30 seconds). Then the maid of honor (who was the bride’s little sister) and then the best man. His speech was pretty long, but worth every minute. Then we danced and danced and danced and had cake and ice cream. At the end of the night, we went out to the side walk to say our “good night” with the Capitol all lit up in the distance.
and it will seem even better every time! It’s amazing how a little bit of distance fades many of the mishaps in favor of the grand parts. It sounds like it was wonderful!
That sounds wonderful. I am so envious of people who get to able to hear their kids do vows like that. Or even have the ceremony personalized. My older daughter had a religious ceremony where there is no speaking by the bride and groom other than a Hebrew prayer. And it completely not personalized at all
My DDs had traditional church weddings with the standard vows but both did private personalized vows at first look. Though we didn’t hear them in person, the girls did practice theirs with me, and there were snippets of it on older DD’s video montage.
My D & SIL had a relatively traditional ceremony that was personalized by our minister, who did such a great job of learning about the bride & groom and conveying it to those gathered. He included Catholic traditions for the groom’s side, which delighted his parents. The mood was light and celebratory … so much less stiff & formal than my/H’s wedding.
A fabulous new boutique hotel opened up down the street from me about a year ago and they’ve been booked for weddings every weekend. Well tonight I finally got a chance to have a good conversation with some wedding guests about the venue. They raved about how beautiful it is on the inside, and it’s really nice that you can choose a caterer to bring food in, but these guests said the acoustics were terrible. The guests thought maybe it had to do with the coffered ceiling, but weren’t sure. What a shame, both for the venue owners and for the patrons. If it wasn’t for talking with this couple, I don’t even know how you’d be able to figure this out. There are so few reviews.
We have had a lot of talk about wedding favors on this thread. I personally lean towards no favors or of so, a food favor.
But just saw a friend post this - she’s at a wedding - I’m not 100% if it’s just decor or if it has a purpose but if it’s a personalized napkin (we only use cloth napkins at our house) and someone can embroider or has an embroidery machine - this could be cute!
(not sure I love that idea but…)