H & I are guilty of that. We generally chat with the bartenders, and we’ll typically slip them money. At one particular venue that hosted museum openings, there was a very strict no tipping rule - bartenders would be fired if they accepted tips, so we never tipped them.
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Hey, I get it! H tipped at an event where he knew very well that tips were included (when he got a tray of Kamikazes for the table, don’t ask 
.)
I think the goal is to make your guests and the servers happy. Getting fired for accepting tips seems severe because guests are trying to be nice. Maybe a small tent sign at the bar saying tips are already included in the bar tab, or something like that.
What kinds of things are you talking about? Things on the gift table? I think you might be talking about things that fall into the category of “you don’t know what you don’t know” for me.
If you are bringing in anything not provided by the venue (or any contractors) that needs to be removed from the venue. For example, cake cutting tools, flower vases, dishes, and so on.
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Thanks!
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We were at a wedding two weeks ago. Dinner was served (buffet style) at 7. Speeches started at 8.30 and went on until 10pm !! Cake was served after this in a separate area with a dance floor. I don’t think many folks even made it to that area!
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Who on earth was speaking?! That’s a lot of talking
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Our S’s wedding had VERY short program. D gave short 5 minute speech, H gave 3 minute speech, and relative of bride gave 4 minutes speech. B&G gave 7 minute speech & cut cake and danced. All told program was under 1/2 hour. Party had to end by 10, per venue.
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I was at a wedding where a groomsman’s (not even the best man) speech began with “we met in kindergarten” and continued for 15+ minutes. His was one of six speeches that night.
At D’s wedding we had 3 speeches and we all (happily) agreed to keep them to two minutes each. We paid a lot for an excellent band so better to let them play and let guests dance!!
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At my daughter’s wedding and at most I have been to recently the wedding party/ friends/ sibling speeches are at the welcome dinner the night before. At the wedding, the parents and the bride and groom give speeches.
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I was complimented on my 5 minute speech as father of the bride. Not sure if that had to do with content or brevity.
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My son’s best man gave a 10-15 min speech which was hilarious and so love filled at the same time. It was a highlight of the evening and everyone commented on how great it was!
My son returned the favor a couple years later. Two of the best wedding speeches I’ve ever heard.
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For S1 I spoke at the rehearsal, MOB spoke at the reception along with the Best Men and the MOHs . For S2, only the Best man and MOH spoke at the reception, nobody at the rehearsal. I think it really depends on what the couple wants. As long as you feed me, I amhappy to be patient.
Both my kids did wonderful jobs with their speeches, I was really touched to hear how heartfelt their wishes for each other were.
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There were a few speeches (aunts/uncles and some groomsmen/bridesmaids) the previous night. The night of the wedding, there were additional speeches from the other groomsmen/bridesmaids, the siblings of the B and G, the parents of the B and G (each spoke separately) and finally from the B and G. The sibling speeches were the best - not too long, humorous. The parents - way too long and repetitive.
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DD1 and her dad had talked about a speech, and he had a nice, prepared speech at the wedding reception. I kept it. I had not seen it or heard it before he gave it. Short enough and it was well received. MOH/sister of the bride gave a touching speech from the heart. I don’t remember much from anyone else talking - best man (groom’s brother) and the groom’s dad. Short enough. Bride has just the one sister and groom has just the one brother.
Changing the subject slightly–what is an acceptable time frame for sending thank-you notes for wedding guests who gave gifts. My D says it’s a year–I think that’s way too long.
I have recieved thank you notes close to or even a tad over a year after the wedding and agree that is not gracious. I think within two or three months of the wedding is reasonable. And FWIW my D and SIL got a fair number of gifts from the registry before the wedding and they got those thank you notes out almost immediately.
ETA: Happily D and SIL had all their thank you notes out within 3 weeks of returning from their 10 day honeymoon.
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we are headed to a wedding this weekend!! Where is yours?
Google says within 3 months is ideal.
We got a terrific thank you note included in a lovely Christmas card that also included a picture of us from the wedding. It was a little after 6 months, but that was fine. Combining with a holiday greeting and change of address was just perfect.
Our kid read someplace that her thank you notes needed to be done within 30 days…which is quite short time. But that’s what she did, and she was happy to get them done and thank people!
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