My son and his girlfriend both wore Indian clothing to the wedding events. It was encouraged and i think is seen as a sign of respect. The only colors that they asked that guests not wear were red, white, and black. Western wear was okay too but I was happy to see them make the effort to get Indian clothing for the sangeet and wedding ceremony!
Yes, It is not considered inappropriate to wear a sari, kurta, etc. even if you are not Indian. The invitations gave ideas of where to purchase the clothing
Little kid made sure the dessert was served promptly after dinner, and the caterer had a dessert cart out for folks to come and pick whatever they liked. Everyone got to try at least 3 different ones! The cake… it was meh compared to the caterer’s desserts.
The appetizers at S & DIL’s wedding were quite popular and helped bridge the time while wedding party & family were taking photos and staff was rearranging furniture for reception. It was served in a nice breezy covered patio. Everything flowed smoothly!
I think a lot of it is being fueled by social media, wedding influencers/content creators and how every moment seems to be produced and curated for the perfect video or photo shot.
Some brides (not all ) see perfectly produced wedding content posted by others and want something similar for their wedding. The costs associated with everything wedding-related are, in many locations, are very high (especially since Covid & onward). Wedding vendors know that B&G’s need (and want) their services so the sky can be the limit. It can snowball quickly. Brides talk themselves into thinking they DIY enough of it to offset the costs but even DIY supplies are very expensive. A bride can no longer plan her own wedding; she must have a coordinator (at least a “day of” coordinator was required at every venue we looked at). It’s no longer a matter of just ordering flowers - now there are “mood boards”. Like I said, it can snowball pretty quickly.
I don’t care how much a family spends on their child’s wedding, really, it’s not my money but those that exceed six figures do give me pause, even if the family “has the money”. I’m sure six figure weddings are very lovely but there’s no guarantee that those marriages will last longer than a 2k reception in a church hall.
I’ll never forget Joan Rivers lamenting that she spent a million (or around that amount) on her only daughter’s wedding and the marriage only lasted a few years.
I’ve got a good recent wedding cake story… I did not go. My coworker did, but we’ve known the groom since birth and H grew up with the FIL of the groom and taught all their kids…
So my coworker had never seen a wedding where there was a dessert table and no big cake. (We are a very traditional type place. This wedding was about 1:30 away. The bride is from a big city in another state).
Anyhow, they did have a small cake for the bride and groom to cut for pictures, etc… except the FOG wandered up and cut it himself and ate a piece BEFORE the bride and groom did their thing!!!
And my mother gave me grief for years about my D’s “ huge” ( her term) wedding. FWIW she did not pay for it ( and we did not ask), and there were fewer guests than at my own wedding and far fewer than at my brother’s ( first) wedding.
She told me multiple times that my nephew and his wife’s wedding was “ better” because it was very small.
Nephew and wife split after about 2 years. D and SIL are happily married and will celebrate their 10th anniversary soon.
Yikes!!! He must have thought “if this is all there is for cake, I better get mine now!”
I wonder what % of weddings have a coordinator (and let’s not say “bride” because it might be the couple that hires a coordinator and or a same sex couple)? Of our 2 weddings of our kids so far, neither had a coordinator - except one venue had a venue person who coordinated the night but that was a given, not an extra.
D’s venue required a wedding coordinator. In our case, he was enormously helpful. D was living in another state at the time and I was working full time plus - the wedding coordinator served as a liaison between our vendors, answered a lot of questions, made sure everything was where it needed to be, etc.
For me it was worth having a person who did all this and more so that I could relax and enjoy the day.
I have no idea! But if you knew him, it just seems to be something he would do. Just cluelessly walk up to the table and start cutting without thinking or asking.
My S & DIL live in NYC. Wedding was in HNL. Venue required a day-of coordinator and she was helpful so we just had to enjoy ourselves, which we did. If there wasn’t a coordinator, knowing me, I’d try to be orchestrating. Since there was a hired person, we all let her do her job and she did it very well. There was NO drama at all and everything went smoothly.
The one little glitch was our van was locked into the parking lot because of a sign we didn’t notice (locked shortly after we parked the vehicle). We woke early in the morning and retrieved it and didn’t have to pay a fine or have any issues. We were relieved. We even made it to the “day after brunch” at my sister’s place.
My D & FSIL chose their reception venue, yay! The venue is supposed to send me the contracts tomorrow. Hopefully there won’t be anything objectionable in there. If anyone knows of issues to look out for, I’d love to hear it!
I am not sure why people need to view it as bragging either spending a lot or not for anything. Why not just view it as what it is. If I said I paid for a wedding with blah blah for my daughter then it is just stating what I did. Some may view it as a fancy and others may think it is cheap, but what does it matter.
Time frame for the event
Number of bars or servers
Deadlines for payments
Mandatory tips
Time frames to set up/tear down
Rules for florists, lighting specialists (required at one D’s venue)
Deadline for head count
Is wine service available or do guest need to get up to go to the bar
Costs for vendor meals
What to do about bartenders who put out tip jars even when the bar package is included in the fees.
Then, my fav, what to do about meals for no-shows. I asked that they be boxed and had a friend connect with the bellmen/valets to hand out the dinners to the nearby homeless. (It was a downtown hotel).
I knew about the # of bartenders and servers, but never even thought of a bunch of things you mentioned. You just don’t know until you know, and you never really know about all the things that make it right, only about the things that become a problem. The tip jar would definitely be unacceptable to me.
FWIW H and I paid for an extra bartending station and had waiters circulating to offer wine during dinner (a pet peeve is that we both hate having a line of people waiting for drinks). So understand what is included, and also know you can almost always pay for additional services (just be sure to know the cost upfront).
Regarding the timeframe for teardown – it can be alarmingly small. Be sure to ask/read/find out if any of the venue staff will be boxing things up in preparation or if it is all up to the families. Our venue staff #1 wasn’t even present ; venue staff #2 had boxed up everything in the areas not used during the reception, neatly labelled them and stacked them by the door. They were also there when we were cleaning up.
Along with the recent weddings, I volunteer for a few philanthropic organizations that have annual galas with open bars. I let the venue/bar coordinator know tip jars aren’t acceptable. The bartenders are tipped very well and it’s arranged in advance. Still see guests slipping bills to the servers. Not much I can do about that.
) see perfectly produced wedding content posted by others and want something similar for their wedding. The costs associated with everything wedding-related are, in many locations, are very high (especially since Covid & onward). Wedding vendors know that B&G’s need (and want) their services so the sky can be the limit. It can snowball quickly. Brides talk themselves into thinking they DIY enough of it to offset the costs but even DIY supplies are very expensive. A bride can no longer plan her own wedding; she must have a coordinator (at least a “day of” coordinator was required at every venue we looked at). It’s no longer a matter of just ordering flowers - now there are “mood boards”. Like I said, it can snowball pretty quickly.