Of the out of towners coming, one niece (and her husband) will be a big help. They always pick up the tab at meals, drive and are helpful in all ways. Another nephew will also be helpful but it is his father (my brother who lives with me) who is the MOST trouble, can’t drive, can’t pay. I suspect nephew and his GF will stay with my daughter who lives about 20 minutes away, as will my other daughter (and they only have 2 bathrooms and no car big enough for 6 people).
It is my 85 year old uncle who will be the problem. NO rental car for him, no hotel. He’s needy and he doesn’t think his wife will be coming with him (she’s helpful but can’t drive). It is the hauling him around that will be the hardest for the whole weekend. And the multiple trips to the airport (26 miles one way) because you know no two of them will arrive at the same time. Maybe my other brother will do it.
OMG, I didn’t even think about the brother who lives in Steamboat and his 18 year old twins. He usually stays with me (no trouble at all) but maybe he’ll find somewhere else to stay. He used to live in Boulder (where wedding is) and maybe still has friends up there to stay with.
For my daughter’s wedding in October, all these same people will have to get hotels, rental cars (if able to rent - there are issues) but then I’m putting my foot down and someone else can lug them around, so that’s why I feel an obligation to help for my nephew’s wedding.
Ours was a breakfast and I think it started at 9. But I asked the hotel folks if they could put out the coffee and danishes at 7 for the early leaving folks and they were fine with that.
Another thing…we stayed in the hotel as well, and our wedding venue was across the street. We had garlands on the tables, and half a dozen vases of flowers. We took enough to my hotel room so that the brunch room had some decorative flowers. At the end, we gave the garlands to anyone who wanted them. The based flowers went with the bride and groom who took them to a friend who was unable to attend the wedding due to a last minute health issue. That was special that they did this.
My sis took the flowers and offered them to anyone who wanted them after S’s wedding and used them to decorate her place for the brunch the day after wedding.
I can’t tell you how relieved I was that D had both the ceremony and reception about 45 minutes from us. We didn’t have to host anyone at our house, so I didn’t have that additional burden. We all stayed in the same hotel. I did offer airport pickup for a few people, but everyone was comfortable with taking an Uber or Lyft. When I got married, we had a couple hours between the ceremony & reception, and my parents invited a lot of the guests to our house (really close to the church) in between. I can still remember my mom’s amazing friends who took care of everything for her. I am too much of a control freak, unfortunately.
My friend got married in a church the same day as 2 other brides. One bride contacted the others about splitting the costs of the church flowers (which were to be white to match everyone) but since she was getting married last felt she shouldn’t have to pay as much (used flowers) and then they’d be donated to the church for Sunday mass.
My friend originally said yes but when the final bride of the day wanted them basically for free, my friend said forget it and took them to her reception.
My sister will be taking care of my mother for D2’s wedding. She’ll be responsible to get my mom to where she needs to be. I did the same when her kids got married. Everyone will be on their own for D2’s wedding. Some of you are better than me to be worrying about your guests.
My parents are long gone, but I have an 83-year-old aunt who was able to attend all the events (rehearsal dinner, wedding with reception, post-wedding hotel breakfast) thanks to the cooperative efforts of her children, their spouses, and her grandchildren. She has no cognitive difficulties but her body is not what it used to be. It was especially gratifying to see her on the dance floor with her walker. One of my favorite amateur videos from a wonderful day.
It has been interesting to watch D1 who is getting married in April plan for this wedding. She has not been in more than a couple of weddings herself. She doesn’t love all the expectations around a wedding and they are keeping theirs quite simple! While she and her fiance are in the driving seat for most of the decisions, I’m trying to at times throw out a question or thought she might not have had.
So here is one. I don’t know if she has given it any thought…what kind of items have your brides - or grooms - given to their attendees as a gift/momento of thanks for the wedding/support/whatever reason a token gift is given? I’ve heard of a nice robe, a piece of jewelry…
Another question - are these usually given on the wedding day? Is there any usual responsibility of the bride at the bachelorette party? She is having one but it is low key/chill in her hometown with her girls and an AIRBNB.
DD gave all of her attendants bracelets that were actually handcrafted by a very good friend. She gave them those during the hair/makeup session before the wedding…which also had a small continental brunch. They also got fun palazzo pants and tops to wear for the make up time…DD found those on Amazon or Etsy.
In our case, the bridesmaids and some friends arrived the Wednesday before a Sunday wedding, and stayed at a beach house on our street (we live in a lake community). This was so they could have a bachelorette celebration. Folks were coming from all over the country and a regular bachelorette just wasn’t possible. For that, each girl who came got a small goodie bag with things small enough to fit into carry on luggage for those flying. I don’t remember everything, but I know each got a soy candle.
All of the bachelorette plans were done by the maid of honor. All of them. She did consult with me and one of the local friends for ideas…because MOH lived 3000 miles away. But really, she made all reservations etc. Since they were on our street, we stocked the fridge with beverages, and breakfast and snack foods.
My D isn’t having a bachelorette type event as many of her friends are in grad school or just starting out in new jobs. It was too much to plan with so many constraints. She is giving her bridesmaids a kimono type robe (getting an aunt to custom make these) and a nice piece of costume jewelry to match their bridesmaid’s outfits for the wedding. The plan is to wear the robe while getting their hair and makeup for the wedding.
I think she’s planning to give these individually to each bridesmaid when they meet (they’re spread out in 5 cities) in the few months before the wedding.
D1 is giving her bridesmaids “permanent” bracelets either gold or white gold. She is having the person come during hair and makeup to put them on everyone.
It’s not welded to the skin. It is just a bracelet that is not removable. I guess there must be some way to remove it? D2 already has 1 so this will be her second.
The recently married kid gave her bridesmaids nice kimono changing robes in personalized with their initials beach bags. MOH recieved a Nordstrom tissue weight wrap as a thank you gift. She was also the officiant.
S and DIL didn’t have any attendants so didn’t give any gifts I’m aware of to anyone at wedding. They did buy some NZ wine on their honeymoon that they gifted to some lucky folks. They did have me gift the officiant with a lovely leather-bound, gilded edge edition of a book that she loved and quoted from. She was overjoyed! (S acquired book at an estate sale and gave it to me to deliver.)
When I was a maid of honor (3x), my older sister gifted me my dress, my friend gifted me my dress and let us stay at her place and scheduled her wedding to be at the end of our honeymoon. She flew in for my wedding and I presented her with my bouquet (no toss), my other friend gave me a silver & turqoise necklace.
As a bridesmaid, my younger sister the bride paid for all of us to get manicures & pedicures with her. It was fun.