Are engagements no longer surprises? S2 is going w the SO to buy a ring (they have been shopping and narrowing it down) , and then he had her block off three different dates in their shared calendar so there is time for a trip that will include the proposal. I said the wrong thing, which was does there need to be a trip since there’s no element of surprise? (And this is not a social media thing; they don’t have active presence there). He wants to share all the planning and details and I was not ready for that. Thrilled they are making it official, delighted in their relationship (both of which they know). But no surprise? For anybody?
I shopped for my engagement ring with DH close to 40 years ago so not everyone was surprised back in the day.
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S and DiL talked about marriage and diamonds and rings but he shocked her by proposing when she was 1/2 awake and he was getting ready to fly to see us on Easter Sunday 2022. Haha! They had been together >6 yrs by then so surprised by timing but not engagement.
Oh, we went window shopping , and of course by the time you are getting engaged every couple should have talked about it – I just was noting that things are certainly a bit different now. As I said, surprise seems to be less of a thing (and that’s not necessarily,bad)
Other son and DiL picked out a ring together, picked it up, but she specifically did want to be surprised and she was. Whatever works!
Son and wife had talked about rings and getting married but the timing of the actual proposal was a complete surprise to his future wife. She thought he was going to New York from DC for the day on business but he was a actually going to pick up a ring he had had designed. She thought they were going out to dinner with friends that night so was dressed. But, instead, after he proposed in their apartment. they had an engagement party with friends that he had planned in their apartment building community room.
Good thing as Covid shutdowns started about 10 days later.
One daughter and her BF went ring shopping when they moved here about 4 years ago, but nothing became of it. He then surprised her with a ring last month which I’m sure was based on what they’d shopped for. I know they’ve had a lot of discussions about real diamonds or synthetic ones, as their friends have all discuss that.
My other’s daughter’s boyfriend consulted with her sister (the one above).
Both of my kids have really small hands and wanted small rings.
Fun story. In November after our graduation, my husband was bound and determined to buy his mother a “nice gift” for Christmas. We visited various jewelry stores looking at mantle clocks. Sometimes he’d have me try on some engagement rings, since we had been talking about getting engaged the next year (we did take jobs in same place - long term was in the cards). When he pulled out the ring on a scenic bridge in a park on a cold November day, my first response was “you liar….”. Perhaps I should have gotten the hint when he suggested leaving my gloves in the car.
DS surprised his GF with his proposal. She was truly surprised, and it was captured on camera by the photographer he cleverly arranged.
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S doesn’t like photographers or photos of himself much, but DIL was able to get him to cooperate for save the date photos and lovely wedding pictures.
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Some people love surprise birthday parties and some people hate it.
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Yup, our nuclear family definitely does NOT like surprises nor surprise parties. My extended family does like surprises.
I got my nephew’s wedding invitation today. Wedding is June 22, so isn’t this early? (they did send save the date)
Also, no address for the wedding/reception. It is at family member’s home but I’d think they’d tell us where. I know you have to park somewhere else and they’ll shuttle us over but no address. I guess you only get that if you rsvp correctly.
Do they have a wedding website? It may be there.
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I’m sure it will be on the wedding site, but that’s requiring a lot from me. First, I have to remember to go there to rsvp at some time within the next 3 months, and then write it down.
I’m old. I think the info should be on the invitation that I could just put in my car or purse. The save the date card that went out just before Christmas said the wedding was black tie but the invitation did not. There is simplicity and then there is just a lack of information.
Totally agree that ‘bits and pieces’ of information - and were there decision changes?
When we got to the Boston wedding, I went to look for some details on the wedding web site, and it had already been taken down. So be sure to write things down yourself, verify things (as cumbersome as that seems) - as much as you can within a close window to the wedding date.
It’s my nephew so I have phone numbers and sources to get info. But what about others who don’t? There are no grandparents but a few elderly aunts and uncles. All the siblings are in the wedding, so there won’t be people around just to help. I know, from word of mouth, that we’ll be parking at a nearby school and shuttled to the house - all in our black tie outfits.
I’m sure it will be lovely, but right now seems like a hassle.
I think “we” put too much emphasis on these small things. Sure it makes sense to have it on the invitation……but in the midst of hundreds of details….can we not let less than perfection and all the ducks in a row slide???
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I adored son/DIL’s one card invitation, QR code on back to get to the wonderful, detailed wedding website (which also had an easy name o find). So handy to always have the website available with me on my phone and ipad during the months before the wedding. It included hotel info etc too.
However, I knew website would not be helpful to my 95 dad and his wife. So I printed every single page/photo, linked sections etc. (Tricky - often had to take big screenshots). Also printed maps at varying degrees of magnification to give them a flavor of the location. (My sister drove them, but it was still good for them to visualize the trip.) They were delighted to get receive large, fat envelope… especially all of the wonderful engagement photos that were integrated into the website (designed by son). I submitted their online RSVP / meal choice for them.
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My son-in-law, a pilot, rented a small plane, took daughter for a flight, and proposed midair. Somehow I don’t think it was a surprise.
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I found spelling mistakes, phone numbers wrong and dates wrong on my kids invites and wedding website. The shower/bachelorette was equally not proofread.
Proofreading is difficult. There is also a huge divide in how young people use technology and how their grandparents can.
I wasn’t privy to the invitations until they were done. They had to be reprinted.
Although I don’t need perfection, the phone number you put on the invite for your grandparents to RSVP needs to be.
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Website and QR details aren’t helpful if you are relying on getting info and hit a cell phone dead zone or overloaded busy time.
I am tech savvy but count me among ones who want traditional details like where and when on the invitations
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