My son was invited to go to Singapore, by his girlfriend’s mom. I have never met the girlfriend or the mom, and no nothing about them. My son is pretty tight lipped about his life. It seems like it would be a great experience, but I would likely have to cover most of the cost. Airfare would be $1500, and I’m guessing 1,000 would work for spending money.He will have a job from late June for the rest of the summer, so he could spend 3 weeks there. I just bought him a car (hindsight is 20/20. Looks like he won’t need the car for summer job). He took a US trip over spring break, and he paid for most of that. We are definitely over budget when it comes to his expenses. Am I crazy to even think of doing this? Does anyone know much about Singapore, including safety, cost, etc? Thanks
Travel and learning about other cultures is always a great opportunity so I try to make those experiences possible for my children when I can.
Very safe place, plus he’ll be traveling with others so take comfort in that.
As far as finances, does he have a birthday coming up where it can be in lieu of a gift or work out an arrangement where he pays half and you pay half, assuming you can afford it and want to?
He just had his 21st birthday, and got the car, for bday and early graduation (class of 2016). If it was someplace in the US, it would be easy for me to say NO, because he could easily go some other time. But he may never have another chance to go to Singapore. And to stay in someone’s home would make it a “more authentic” cultural experience. I’m glad to hear you don’t think I’m crazy.
If he really wants to go but it’s hard to afford for you, you could loan him the money instead and have him pay back from his summer earnings.
Problem is he needs summer earnings for next school year. He would be willing to give me most of what he makes, but the likelihood of him getting a job on campus isn’t very high. I may talk to him about that. We can afford it, but we will feel it.
If it’s hard then tell him he can’t go (or that you won’t pay for him to go). It’s leisure travel, it’s not as if he has to go.
“he may never have another chance to go to Singapore”
Does the GF’s family live there or is this just a fun trip? and does he already have a passport?
I think crazy not to consider it especially there is a girl friend and her family.
Do you have projects he can do for you around the house during the summer? Things you would normally pay others to do? I know you said he’s working but he could still squeeze in 10-20 hrs per week if he was motivated. My kids also have had success doing odd jobs/yard work/pet sitting in our town during the summer on an ad hoc basis to pick up some extra cash.
It sounds like it could be a great experience. If you can afford it, and if he can contribute something, I’d say go for it. If you cannot afford it, then say no.
I wonder if it’s as expensive as you think. Have you actually priced out tickets? And would he really need 1K for spending money, if he doesn’t have to pay for lodging? Do you have any airmiles to help with a ticket?
Singapore is safe.
Things to consider:
- Does he have a non expired passport?
- Will he need a visa?
- Could he handle living with gf parents for 3 wks?
- Remember that Singapore is very strict with everything: drugs, littering, etc. make sure he knows the “rules” of the country and follows them.
Does he have any money of his own that would work for spending money? There’s great food in Singapore at low prices, and there aren’t a ton of overhead costs. Everybody gets everywhere on the subway. $1000 for three weeks should cover really nice souvenirs for his whole family plus taking his hosts out for a fancy meal or two.
Is he doing a study abroad, or will this be his one international experience during his college years? If facing study abroad soon, it might be worth reconsidering the expense.
However, it is an amazing opportunity regardless. You never know where these things will lead. I took my S to Bangkok when he was toward the end of HS, and it reorganized his priorities and interests, really changed his life.
As mentioned above, he needs to know the importance of the rules in Singapore, and be willing to abide by them. Google some of the situations foreigners have gotten themselves into with not following the law and be sure he has read some of these stories.
Singapore is so safe some friends who have worked/lived there have complained it was “too safe to the point of being sterile” for them.
Indeed. For instance, google Michael Fay or just watch this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU95v23MQ4c
Also, I’ve read of foreign tourists being prosecuted for the crime of having chewing gum as its severely restricted due to past issues with people carelessly disposing of it in public areas:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewing_gum_ban_in_Singapore
Then again, he can avail himself of a special type of fruit with an odor considered offensive to many folks…but very tasty for those who love it. The durian which is plentiful over there. 
I’m in & out of Singapore a lot. Unless u have plans to spray graffiti on subway cars or traffick drugs (probably not a good way for OP’s son to impress girlfriend’s parents), then you really have nothing to worry about. Even in the US, I wouldn’t be crass enough to toss litter on the ground.
This singapore visit is a great opportunity to experience another country from the perspective of locals, rather than from the perspective of tourists.
If DS has flexibility on the date of travel, flying on low demand days (typically Tue & Wed) could save 500 bucks or more. Saturday is nearly always the highest demand day for int’l travel and, consequently, more expensive.
Singapore is strict on some things and very lax on others, compared to the US. There are nightlife areas in Singapore that wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the US. Criminal penalties for all sorts of relatively harmless things can be incredibly harsh in the US too.
And for minor offenses:
You could also be shocked by:
“I have read of foreign tourists being prosecuted for the crime of having an open can of beer in the park.”
… which happens in Massachusetts.
We’ve got a whole family rendezvous in europe planned w a departure in 3 1/2 weeks and itineraries originating from 2 different continents, and I still haven’t gotten around to booking air tickets. So I definitely don’t think booking just one ticket to SIN is crazy.
If you all can swing it financially, then DS should definitely go for it!
Chewing gum and alcohol are very different. One is a product available for use by folks of all ages. The latter is a product only legally available to those over 21 and over.
Also, keep in mind Massachusetts has many blue laws still on the books dating back to the Puritan era. One I remember from my time living in the Boston area is how alcohol sales were restricted to bars and licensed liquor stores. Supermarkets and groceries weren’t allowed to sell alcohol up until less than a decade ago and if one wanted to consume alcohol on sundays…one had to plan ahead by buying before that day as alcohol sales were banned for half or the entire sunday depending on the local ordinances of a particular city/town.
When we lived abroad for few years, we invited D1’s boyfriend to visit a few times and each time we paid for his expenses because we knew he wouldn’t be able to afford it.
I think it would be a great experience for your son to go, especially if the invite came from his girlfriend. The only thing is 3 weeks is a long time to stay with a family unless they plan on traveling to other places. That being said, if the GF family is well off, their house maybe quite big with housekeeper and such, so it may not as big of a deal to have one more person staying there.