I think my kids would think twice about it when I ask, do you really want to spend three weeks with your girlfriends parents? Especially with no travel involved? What are they planning to do for such a time, if not travel?
Also, shouldn’t he be considering working or an internship? This blocks out a large portion of the summer, and junior summer is s pretty important time for internships. I can see a small trip, but this is a long time.
I guess I have a different opinion. If you can afford it I would let him go. With 2 of my children post grad I wish they had taken more time to travel before taking on full time jobs. Once they begin working they will have little free time to go anywhere of distance. Most will just have 2 weeks vacation and many places won’t want you to take the two weeks together. Add to that vacation time of the significant other and visits to family. They will have many years of work ahead of them.
I am so happy that I took time to travel when I was in college.
Yeah, but will traveling all the way to Singapore mean hanging in the parents’ home the whole time? OP’s son should get clarity on the agenda; otherwise, that stay could be a REALLY long time…
I am all for travel. I am pushing my kids to take foreign travel trips on their own, and in fact gave them both a trip to anywhere in the world that they wanted to go, last Christmas. Sounds pricey but it’s not, we have airmiles, and I find good deals.
However, I’d want to hear more about this trip. Would my son be interested in it purely because it’s three weeks of hanging out with his girlfriend? Are they planning on traveling around much while they are there? If it’s three weeks of mostly hanging out playing video games, and not really a travel experience, I’d consider it a waste. I would want him to do a foreign travel trip elsewhere, maybe shorter, and gain more from it. Sometimes kids will do just about anything to stay with their girlfriend/boyfriends, but it’s not really an experience. I would want more answers to my questions, if I’m expected to pay for this trip.
I would imagine the girlfriend with or without her family would want to show the boyfriend, a first time visitor to the country, the sites. But yes, I would seek more clarification on that point as a paying parent.
@busdriver11 - no free nonrev for your kids?
I think busdriver’s kids probably like to look out the window.
not sure I get your reference @GMTplus7… usually a pretty good view from first or business.
No doschicos, my kids don’t nonrev, especially not internationally. As GMT can verify, it’s always iffy if you can get on a flight or not. They never seem to have enough time to take the chance. You can be stuck somewhere for quite awhile. Actually, I rarely even jumpseat unless I have no other choice. I’ll fly in the cockpit on my airline, but I dislike doing it elsewhere, as I really hate begging for the ride, and the uncertainty. I just used airmiles to get in position for a work trip.
I suspect GMT might be referring to the fact that as a nonrev, you often get stuck with that center seat. My kids are pretty lucky since they have frequent flyer status on Delta, and if they fly on them, they sometimes get upgraded, or at least a nice window exit row seat. But they wouldn’t get any of that on any airline if they were nonrev, you get what is available. If anything. Nonrev can be really painful.
@busdriver - My kids nonrev a lot. Perhaps its the routes they choose, or the airline, but they’ve been fairly lucky. And they are young enough and schedules are usually flexible enough that a few kinks in travel are workable for them. Yes, sometimes the center seat is all thats left, but often they snag first class. Not bad travel for a high school/college kid. We’ve actually had more luck internationally, especially on longer haul flights which can be costly - there’s always a cost/benefit analysis of course. I’ve found the online systems make the planning much more predictable than the old days.
It seems that the only issue here is what is really going to happen when he gets there. Is he going to be subject to the GF’s parents and her itinerary or lack thereof?
If he doesn’t know, he should test the waters a bit. I have been on vacations where I had to work part of the time, and it put a damper on some of our activities.
Otherwise, why not go?
On the theme of staying with gf’s parents for 3 weeks, I wonder if there are any unspoken expectations and if so is the kid aware of them?
Since the OP has not met either gf or parents, she probably doesn’t know, but does the kid know?
Is gf’s family from a different culture, frex, and if so, would hosting a bf just be “having my kid’s friend over” or “step towards fiance becoming in-law.”
@scholarme, now you’re freaking me out 
Sorry, don’t mean to freak you out. Just that your kid needs to be aware that IF it is a cross cultural thing, gf’s parents are one generation removed, and typically that means more traditional.
I guess he could ask, among other things, if the family usually hosts friends of children like this, or has in the past anyway.
It could be that it is just nothing more than a friendly nice gesture that they extend to a lot of friends.
I told our girls that I would like to meet their BF earlier rather than later, so when D1 invited her BF of 2 months to visit us abroad it was purely a meet and greet, no expectations and no implications. Her BF’s parents did think it was strange for him to travel all that way to meet his new GF’s family. The first visit was only for 4 days and I gave D1 thumbs up.
I assume OP’s son knows the purpose of visit.
Wrong thread… Sorry.
Thanks to all. I especially appreciate the Singapore info. He does have a job this summer, but it doesn’t start until late June, which is why he can consider this trip. I sent him an email asking him several questions. I told him I’m not expecting answers to them all, but to think about them. If he decides he wants to go, I am going to let him. We will come up with some arrangement where We will pay for part and he will pay for part.
OP here. For those who haven’t seen my other thread, I booked trip today. He will be there for 12 days. May wind up as 13, but figure more than 2 weeks is too long. he has multiple friends that live there, so he does have back-up accomodations if he needs them.
Now next question. Any idea what’s reasonable or customary to bring or send as a gift to the host family? I don’t want to spend too much, because airfare alone is $1275, and he will take them to dinner while he’s there, assuming they are willing.
Is there something from your area that he can bring? Maple syrup, candy, textiles? When we traveled to China, the gifts had to be of a lower value because we had to take them for so many people, but they liked American ginger root, cosmetics (lip balm) American things like baseball caps or t-shirts.
I can’t help with the gift question, but just wanted to comment that I think his length of stay is close to perfect. I wished I’d had at least double my 5 day stay - 10 to 12 or 14 days would have been a good length allowing for some relaxing along with our full sightseeing/doing schedule. We found so much to see and do, couldn’t leave anything out and kept wanting to add more places we learned about. I hope he has a great time - I am ready to plan a second trip!
What about having your son pick up a bottle of XO liquor at duty free? It is a popular gift to bring even if the hosts do not drink. They put it on their shelf and bring it out when they guest. Have your son ask the girlfriend. If the father drinks (even a little bit), it shows great respect. For the mother, maybe a pretty summer scarf or chocolate. I would skip taking them out to dinner because they probably will not let him. He would be considered a younger person and a family guest.
When D1’s BF came to visit, he brought us a nice wooden salad bowl because he knew D1’s dad liked to cook. Of course, it was D1 who gave him the idea.