I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I definitely taught my kids not to steal. Could one still shoplift? Of course, and that wouldn’t be on me or my parenting.
We do know a lot about the Ball family because the father puts it all out there for us to know. The father won’t interview with women reporters and turned his back to one ON HER SHOW! Of course the big blame in that situation is that the network (I don’t remember if it was an ESPN show or not) SHOWED the program. The father has pulled the youngest one off his high school basketball team because he can’t get along with the coach. Older one is having a lot of trouble in the NBA. Middle one isn’t having a great start in college. Shoe company is bombing because, well, they are crappy shoes that cost too much.
Are there countries where you would NOT go or where you would not want your kids to go because of their laws/legal system? Not talking because of disease or crime or whatever, but specifically because you would not want to be caught up in their legal system?
@dietz199 …I can’t believe you just said that. How insulting. We are good parents, not without human faults. Every child is different, with different issues. They mature differently, take different risks. To have a child who takes risks is no easy child to raise. That child has a slower developing brain. We have had to work darn hard with this child, and to be there to help him set his path straight…as @MomofWildChild put it. Underdeveloped parenting…I think not. If anything, we’ve developed very strong parenting muscles on this son. The other son…totally different personality and take on life. This one also deviated from “perfect child” in his teen years, but not so severely.
You might have been talking about the Ball family, but I’m the one that brought up underdeveloped brains. If you don’t think that is a true stance, then I’m finished even trying to convince anyone of that.
And for those of you who say “my child would never…”, well, I say “ ha” to that one.
I’ve spent a lot of my legal career dealing with ethics issues. If you think you can predict who is going to steal or lie, you are very wrong. Look at all the cases of trusted long time bookkeepers embezzling. I guess they had bad parents.
I understand that children can have assorted problems, even with genuinely excellent parenting.
However, the reason that I believe that Ball of UCLA had poor parenting is not from the fact that he shoplifted per se, but from his father’s reaction to it, as reported by the Washington Post, “Everybody is making it a big deal. It ain’t that big of a deal.” The Post goes on to say “His father has thus far shown no indication that what his son did was bad, very bad.”
This is poor parenting, MoWC, regardless of whether the sons turned out to be ethically flawless.
The Balls have a family brand of sneakers priced between $495 and $695 a pair, according to the Post. On the Ellen de Generes show, Lonzo Ball, the Los Angeles Laker (older brother), reportedly said, “If you’re not dedicated and disciplined enough to go do whatever to go get the shoes, you’re not a big baller.” This remark doesn’t look too good in light of his younger brother’s action in China, but I can believe that it was innocent at the time.
There is also mention in the Post article of Ball buying one of his sons a Lamborghini, when the son was 16, and buying another son a Ferrari. This is not poor parenting per se, but it may be indicative of misplaced priorities.
Every kid is different and there’s only so much we as parents can do. In fact I think there’s been some studies in the past decade showing that “nature” is quite influential vs “nurture”. I have a colleague (super nice, very smart guy) with a D who is a successful lawyer, very happy and doing great in life. But his S is a dropout, drug and alcohol addict. Parenting alone can’t explain that huge dichotomy. I suspect there are many, many families out there with similar stories, probably quite a few here on CC.
My reference to bad parenting was referring to the specific situation on this thread. I apologize if there was ambiguity and you felt attacked in any way. I’m sorry for that.
In THIS case, the evidence of bad parenting is screamingly, loudly clear.
YES. you worked darn hard. And that’s the point. The parental response of a father in this situation of ‘hey, what’s the big deal’ is not indicative of working hard to help help the ‘child’.
I’m assuming most book keepers are over the age of 25 they would be past the marker for the undeveloped brain which is being discussed.
Of course. They are going to Nepal for Christmas and I requested they not fly through Turkey just because of safety issues. One went two years ago and was stuck in Turkey over Christmas. It was fine then, not so much now. I don’t want them in Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, N. Korea. Traveling across parts of Mexico isn’t a great idea. My niece and nephew live in Cabo for half the year and know how to drive down, but it involves leaving San Diego at 6 am, driving to safe check points, not wandering off the path.
My daughter’s school cancelled the study abroad trips to Turkey this year. If they think it is too dangerous to be on a supervised trip for educational purposes, I think it is too dangerous to be a casual tourist. There are plenty of safe places in the world she hasn’t seen yet.
But are those places for safety reasons, rather than for concerns about the legal system (North Korea aside)? Are there places where you would fear for them if they should come up against the legal system for some reason?
^^ Most places in the Middle East, anywhere that makes judgements based on religion or religious-based morality. Anywhere you can get into trouble for public displays of affection or for wearing clothing normally accepted in Western countries. And anywhere that has religious/moral police separate from actual police, walking around looking for infractions. Also anyplace that cuts off body parts as punishment.
I am concerned about the legal system in Mexico. When I cross the San Diego - Tijuana border I can be easily put in jail if I don’t pay $100 to a cop for an unjustified traffic violation. That does not mean I will not go to Mexico. I will go but I have to be very careful on the streets.
@tonymom yep, your response is similar to my earlier post. Ball And Trump are two sides of the same coin. They both should be ignored because they love the attention.
All those places for the legal system and safety, many countries in Africa, many places in SE Asia. I wouldn’t want to deal with the legal system in any of them. Honestly, I don’t want my kids arrested ANYWHERE, even in the US because I think there are no guarantees of justice or clean sheets in Detroit or Memphis or LA jails either, but if my kids go to any of those places and get into trouble, they have to deal with the laws of that jurisdiction. No one should expect special treatment just because they are American. If these three had gone shoplifting on Rodeo Drive, would they expect house arrest at the Hyatt, to have all charges just dismissed? If 3 Chinese players had done it on Rodeo drive, will they now expect similar treatment?
There are probably African American people who would name places in the US where they believe that the police are racist against them.
There are probably Latino American people who named Maricopa County in Arizona when Arpaio was sheriff there. Or would name any place in the US where the ICE’s habits include refusing to identify themselves or entering private homes without a warrant or permission.