60 Minutes piece on Kindergarten "Redshirting" (Merged Threads)

Parent Cafe
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<p><a href=“http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7400898n&tag=contentBody;storyMediaBox[/url]”>http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7400898n&tag=contentBody;storyMediaBox&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I thought this piece was really interesting and immediately wondered if the CC community had any anecdotal evidence on this. Did you send your kids with late birthdays to kindergarten? Or hold them back? What factors did you consider? How did it work out - academically, socially, athletically? Do you feel that the decision truly had an impact that lasted into their high school career - or even later?</p>

<p>I’ll start. D has an October birthday (in our district, the cutoff is December 31). In her preschool eval, it was recommended (albeit NOT very strongly) that we hold her back. We did not. She began kindergarten at age 4. I’ve NEVER regretted the decision. I don’t feel like she ever suffered from being one of the youngest in her grade. Her only complaints were that she wasn’t 18 upon beginning college, so we had to co-sign a checking account, and also that she was the LAST of her friends to turn 21 (this past year).</p>

<p>Luckily, S has an April birthday and we didn’t have an issue. Not sure how we would have dealt with the decision if he did have a late birthday. Around here, once a BOY has a birthday past, say, September 1, it’s almost automatic to hold him back.</p>

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<p>My son’s birthday was in October so he was young for kindergarten. He also skipped third grade. When he went into 4th grade, many kids had been held back because of late birthdays so many of his classmates were 2 years older. My son was big for his age so it wasn’t a problem until high school which he started when he was 12.</p>

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<p>I saw the piece too. It’s such an individual decision. Our son was born mid-November and our school’s cutoff was Sept, so we didn’t have to make a decision, but had he just made that cutoff, I’m almost sure I’d have held him back. He was ready academically at 5, but not socially and some motor skills were delayed. Plus he didn’t want to be away from me. I figured he could jump a grade later or go early to college as I did. I do know boys who have struggled all through school from starting a little earlier.</p>

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<p>Our cutoff in our town is December 31. S1 was born December 7. We started him in nursery school – in the “3’s” – when he was two and a half. He really needed the socialization. However, we wound up having him “repeat” the 3’s. He was small and just not as mature as the kids who were moving on to the 4’s. We’ve never regretted it.</p>

<p>S2, on the other hand, is a September 12 birthday. We did not hold him back – he needed the intellectual stimulation and would have been bored to tears if he had waited. Never regretted that, either.</p>

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<p>Found the piece to be very interesting, considering we lived in a community that, at the time, (18 yrs ago) was rampantly doing this sort of thing!</p>

<p>We elected NOT to hold back our son, on the advice of pediatrician. He was reading by October of K year. Dr indicated to us that as kids mature, they tend to even out, so to speak. So, we kept him on track. Would I do things differently? Probably not, as I do not think having him repeat K would have changed his personality in any way. He was always very verbal, and a big reader. Was never really interested in sports, so repeating K was in no way going to make him a better athlete. He preferred to read and study. What we did witness at the elementary school, was kids in 6th grade that were behavioral problems and several that were in early puberty in 6th grade.</p>

<p>As it has turned out, he was a NMF along with 3 other boys from his HS. One of those has a July b’day, and the other was born two weeks after our son in August. Our son graduated from a top 20 college and is now employed full time with an international company. Do we have regrets? Absolutely not! I do not see the benefit overall to do this sort of thing, unless a kid is not functioning academically at grade level.</p>

<p>And, by the way, I have a brother that was held back (over 40 yrs ago)…did it make a difference? No-not academically or athletically!</p>

<p>PS–with the cost of college tuition, I am not so sure that I would want to hold back…</p>

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<p>Both my sons were on track to be the youngest in their classes. I held them both back. I never regretted it for a second. They both excelled beyond my wildest dreams, and the extra year of maturity I firmly believe meant the difference in them both getting into the schools of their dreams.</p>

<p>I also considered their senior years as a ‘bonus year’ for me…I got to keep them an entire extra year, and that was really wonderful as well.</p>

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<p>This was going on 17 years ago,when our children were going thru school</p>

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<p>I’m on the opposite end. My birthday is mid January and the cut off was Dec 31. I was reading by the time I was 3 and could do math very well come kindergarten. I have always been very tall for my age and would have fit in just fine. Alas, there was no flexibility and I was always the oldest in my class. I was always the stand out for being so tall and so much more advanced than my peers. I hated it for a very long time and going to a private school with a small class made it so much worse. I wish there was more flexibility for when students can start as it shouldn’t be assumed everyone is ready at the same time. Some aren’t ready at the cut off time, others are ready well before.</p>

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<p>I had a similar experience as the OP with my son. He has an August birthday, was small for his age, and didn’t speak much at all throughout preschool. He actually had speech therapy in preschool because his speech was delayed although his language was advanced in terms of understanding and communicating. His preschool, with some reluctance because his behavior was very mature with the exception of his speech, recommended he stay back a year. His speech teachers, on the other hand, said let him go. They felt that as soon as his speech kicked in, he’d be where he should be.</p>

<p>I was very much on the fence about what to do with him. I could understand both points of view. I could see that socially, my son was no where near the other kids because he didn’t talk to them. He’d hang around- do things with them, but not talk. But I also knew he was very bright, very well-behaved and almost predicted what would be expected of him and would do it before he was asked. </p>

<p>I tried to imagine him doing preschool again, with the kids who were a year behind him, and that is what convinced me to let him go. It was the maturity issue. Speech or no speech, my DS has always been wise beyond his years, even at four. In my gut, I felt he would be frustrated if he didn’t have new challenges. In Kindergarten, he was still a little behind his peers socially, but not academically, but by first grade, he had made the leap. I knew it when his first grade teacher pulled me aside the first week of school and said, “Why is Ds in speech??” She said she couldn’t figure out how he could be in the program because his speech and language were at the top of the class and he was considered one of the class leaders.</p>

<p>So I can say, while I worried a little at first, I came to be very glad that I let him go to K with his age group, even though he was one of the youngest boys. He did continue to be a leader, all through elementary school and high school. Somewhat ironically, his social skills became one of his key strengths. I wonder if, because he had to work harder at some of the non-verbal clues in his early years, if this helped him understand others a little better, and made him somewhat more sensitive to the subtle clues in social situations than he might otherwise have been. He is also a fabulous public speaker- something he developed by the fourth grade when he ran for student body president, and won. </p>

<p>Athletically- Ds continues to be a smaller than average young guy, but he succeeded at baseball in the early grades, and later became an avid backpacker and rock climber.
We’re very glad we made the decision we made. It was a “go with your gut” kind of decision that turned out for the best in our case.</p>

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<p>

That was my concern, too, when S-2, born Dec. 31 in a district with Jan. 1 cutoffs, was age-eligible for K, by a matter of 18 hours. Plus, our whole family is short.</p>

<p>I was student teaching K during the relevant decision year, so knew the principal well. I asked him what would happen if we waited a year to begin S in K. He told me he’d be put automatically into First Grade at his school. I was surprised, and re-opened the discussion with references to “The Hurried Child” and other books popular then, urging parents to recognize the emotional/social needs as well as the cognitive. Translated: just because he’s bright doesn’t mean he can cut with scissors, skip or make friends, so SLOW DOWN. </p>

<p>When the principal kept firm, I finally asked him what was on his mind, really? It was so surprising that he would push a child when all of our faculty discussions were about slowing down and smelling the roses. </p>

<p>He said he knew too many district parents who try to manipulate the school-start year of their sons in order to advantage them in h.s. football. Finally I understood! I laughed and said, “have you seen my husband? do we look like we’re raising quarterbacks here?” A few weeks later, the principal wheeled by the classroom to say he HAD seen my H and decided my story held up. We waited one year and then enrolled him in September at age 5 for K, not First Grade. </p>

<p>It is complicated by the fact that, legally, a child may remain unschooled until age 6. So everything we say about the K year is in the realm of “optional” education. The principal’s POV included that the public does not owe a child a K year, if the parent keeps the child away from school during the calendar year he should be in place as a K.
Show up late and be popped into First Grade. </p>

<p>The outcome was excellent. S-2 gained a lot by being more confident socially throughout his school years. SO confident that he chose to graduate h.s. in 3 years and run off to college a year early.</p>

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<p>I have a friend whose son was encouraged to start kindergarten with an August birthday in a district with a September 10th cut off date. While academically, he was fine early on, he was very immature . He is a HS freshman and is small for his age. My friend is now considering having him repeat 9th grade at a different school. If he were my son, I would make that choice.</p>

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<p>My son has a mid Dec Bday, D has a Pete Dec Bday, and our cutoff is Dec 1st, but neither were the oldest of their classmates or friends. I occasionally wondered why. My son could have used another year, but not with me!</p>

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<p>My youngest son has a July 4th birthday. The cutoff at the school he will attend is August 1. We have seriously considered holding him back a year simply because I would much rather send my 18 year old off to college than I had a 17 year old. While he’s intelligent enough to start “on time,” I worry if he’s emotionally ready for the task of sitting still etc. We’re blessed that our school has what’s called a Pre-1st grade. Children who complete Kindergarten but don’t master the necessary skills or aren’t emotionally ready are recommended for Pre-1st rather than automatically sent to 1st or held back in K. Because of this, we’re letting S begin preschool this year on time and then trusting his teachers to work with us on what’s truly appropriate for him when the time comes. Yes, it will mean an extra year of tuition, but whatever is best for S when the time comes, is what we’ll do.</p>

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<p>^ That’s interesting! I see that it’s a private school ( " an extra year of tuition" ). I was wondering how a public school would manage that. We picked our school specifically because they had EK for four year olds.</p>

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<p>The November birthday kiddo went to preschool for three years. Even HE says it was a good decision.</p>

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<p>D1 has a September birthday. We lived in NJ when the kids were little & when they started school the cutoff was Dec. 31st (although that changed during our tenure there and backed up to Nov. 1st.) I only knew 1 person who held their kid back; it just wasn’t done in our community which was pretty blue collar. </p>

<p>When we moved down to TN, the cutoff was September 30th so D1 would have made the cutoff anyway, but the standard behavior was to hold the kids back if they were July or later birthdays, especially boys. We know a good number of really smart kids who are older than D1 who were a year behind her in school. If I had known that we would end up here, I may have held her back. She ended up fine and was an NMF, but sometimes socially in HS I could see how much younger she was. But all has worked out well.</p>

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<p>S was a late November baby, cut-off was December 31. He was small in stature, very bright and exceptionally verbal. Two things convinced us to have him take another year of nursery school (at a different school, with a more structured curriculum and approach, so it wouldn’t be repetitious for him and would be a nice transition to kindergarten). First, at the standard meeting where the nursery school advised about his readiness for kindergarten, the principal told us in the same sentence that he was absolutely ready for kindergarten and liked to spend a lot of time in the three-year room. Hello? Then a colleague at work confided that her most searing memory of kindergarten was that she was the only kid in the class who couldn’t reach the bookshelf to choose a book during free reading time. Decision made! Neither he nor we have ever had any regrets, and he certainly liked being the first of his friends to get a driver’s license. It’s a very individual decision, but I’ve never heard anyone say they regretted holding a kid back.</p>

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<p>We did it with S. Cutoff here is Sept 1, he was an August birthday, had some speech issues. It was not for sports, or really academic reasons, more social. It was very common around here 19 years ago (still is) especially for boys who mature slower in general. Kindergarten has become much more academic than when I went 45 years ago. I agree it is a personal, case-by-case decision, but I have never heard regrets from a parent who kept a child back. I have heard a few from those who didn’t. (He still doesn’t have a driver’s license though, but there were boys with April b-days in his class who had been held back also, so he was definitely not the oldest!)</p>

<p>I did not see this done with girls as much, most of my D’s friends seemed to have summer b-days and were on the young side.</p>

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<p>There’s a fine motor/gender issue at play here, too. People talk a lot about girls’ social maturity, but girls’ fine motor skills also kick into place much earlier than boys. </p>

<p>Much early elementary grade school work calls upon fine motor skills: learning to cut, print letters, and start to write words/sentences/stories. Boys sit next to girls and see their neat, capable handwriting. They’re too young to understand that even though both are in the same grade, her work looks so much better. And that’s with a regular age spread! </p>

<p>If you consider a district with Sept. 1 cut-off, and put an August-born boy alongside an October-born girl, the fine motor skill differential is nearly two years. It’s discouraging because they’re all too young to understand why her papers come back with happy-faces and his come back with “I see you are trying.”</p>

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<p>Just jumping in here (I know it’s a parent conversation… sorry lol) because I also had a very very late birthday (late December, scooted in juuuuust before my district’s January 1st cutoff), and my parents chose to send me ahead to kindergarten with only one year of preschool under my belt.
My motor skills sucked, though I caught up by the end of the year, but everything else I needed to have developmentally for kindergarten was fine. My parents thought that another year in preschool would bore me, and they were probably right. It’s possible they would have skipped me ahead if the cutoff were sooner, but perhaps not. I never experienced any trouble in elementary school, socially or academically, but there was a period in middle school when I had more of a child’s mindset while my peers were definitely in adolescent mode, and that was a frustrating and awkward time for me. But guess what? I got over it. Middle school sucks for most anyone, anyway. It’s a learning experience.
So, I say, it depends on the kid. If he/she is doing fine academically and not struggling socially, an earlier entry makes sense. If not, holding him/her back is fine too. Honestly, I’m not sure it makes a difference one way or the other, though holding your kid back does give college tuition prices one more year to inflate!</p>

<p>Edited to add: I guess I’m the exception to the gender/motor skill rule. I’m a girl, my motor skills developed later, and my handwriting is absolutely beyond terrible. (some of that is laziness, however!)</p>