I don’t have a problem with the fact that the child was not behaving perfectly. My problem is with the mother’s “he spoke to my child so instead of apologizing I’m going to sit back with my Bloody Mary and let my kid have at it” attitude.
How do you know that we don’t? I have hemophilia in my family. Kicking the chair of people with hemophilia is monstrous.
The point you’re missing here is that the problem is not the child, it’s the parent. Special needs children can be moved or redirected. I have special needs children in my family, too. Maybe the guy on the plane was a curmudgeon, maybe the child at issue was special needs. But the mother didn’t say that. It has been my experience that most special needs families go out of their way to be communicative and cooperative - if the child had been special needs and she said that to the man and he had a physical problem with being kicked, he could have had appropriate information to move. Or if he was just in a bad mood, it could have helped him to be understanding.
I get where you are coming from, but I think you are adding in personal things to this specific situation that weren’t there originally.
^Yes, this. And “she poked the bear”…really? How about parenting your little snowflake without someone having to do it for you? I hate when kids kick my seat and would NEVER allow my kids to do that. But, I have had several flights when D just could not be consoled d/t ear pain. Sometimes before the pain because she knew it was coming. Its so hard to keep them buckled in when they are crying and in pain and just want to be held, but its a safety thing and everyone around will have to deal unfortunately. I would unclip her at the very first possibility but then it would take some time for her to calm down again. Oh fun times!
As I said in my post, I had to travel with my special needs (aspie) son because the country I lived in didn’t have acceptable medical care for my fast-approaching delivery. I tried to stay in-country, but my employer, who was paying my medical bills, insisted. The nearest place my employer had for me was a country on a different continent that would have taken days and possibly weeks to travel over rough (to say the least) roads through potentially dangerous areas.
In short, I HAD to fly, and he had to come with me. DH was there, too, across the aisle with our daughters. He had 2 kids, I had 1 (plus the belly). We were seasoned travelers and knew how to keep our kids still and occupied. The person in front of my son made it clear that she would not accept any movement whatsoever that in any way affected her seat which was completely ridiculous. I feel pretty certain she would not have reacted the way she did if an adult had been using the tray table behind her.
As I said, there is just a growing tend towards adults have no tolerance for children of any kind on planes. People hold their tongues if an adult to talks loudly/too much, takes up too much room, reclines a seats, etc., but a child on board is insufferable and must be dealt with. It’s a sad commentary on our general level of empathy and compassion for our fellow man, considering we were all children once.
The mother in the article was entitled and over-the-top to be sure, but I have seen adults on planes huff, puff, and complain about far less simply because they didn’t want to be near someone else’s child, regardless of how that child was behaving.
@melvin123, I think you are taking things personally that aren’t directed at your situation. The child in the OP is not special needs, and his mother wasn’t trying her best.
But even in cases where the child IS special needs, and the mother IS trying her best, other passengers are allowed to be annoyed. We can have all the sympathy and empathy and compassion in the world, but it should work both ways. Even as the other passengers keep their remarks to themselves because they see that the family is trying to deal with a difficult situation, the family needs to realize that the passengers are also trying their best to deal with a difficult situation.
Now if a passenger comes by and screams in your face as you are trying your best, that’s a problem, and it’s wrong. But if a passenger frowns or scowls or looks to see what the commotion is, that’s just being human. We turn to look at loud noises, and we frown when something upsets us. It’s not a personal affront.
Very happy to hear the OP stated overwhelming negative comments for this mother. Gee, I always call my H sweetheart- telling that to people asking how to pronounce his first name (I don’t do it correctly, even after decades of marriage). Passenger correctly trying to be nice to child by use of pleasant term.
Parents make choices with their kids’ appearance. Expect confusion with hair, names and clothing that are gender confusing.
I hated it when our son would kick the car seat ahead of him when young. Repeated telling him not to by the one ahead of him. Bad habit.
We do NOT need to tolerate poor behavior by children in public. Kudos to parents controlling multiple children- that’s your job. I offer no sympathy to parents because they choose to have more kids than they can manage (even one can be too many for self centered mommies). THAT is disgraceful. In the old days when kids came whether desired or not and there were larger families poor behavior was not more tolerated, good behavior was expected. It is not a different trend now.
There, I’ve vented.
@gouf78
I see the reactions if I click on link, wait a few seconds, go down a bit just under the twitter/facebook icons and hover on the “view reactions 4000 some response” and then click on it.
I read 2 pages and none were favorable to the mother.
One time, my mom and I made the mistake of taking my two-year-old with us on a tour of one of the mansions in Newport, RI. What were we thinking?!? While on the upper floor, he melted down. High-pitched screaming and wild thrashing. With everyone staring, I exited and took him to the front porch. Unfortunately, it was raining cats and dogs so I was stuck there with him still throwing a fit. A nice man stopped and tried to distract him. It didn’t work, but I appreciated the effort. Ugh, I will never forget that. I didn’t make that mistake again.
Anyone see the movie "Kindergarten Cop? Schwarzenegger knew how to stop a kid kicking his seat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxoCv_JpQVs
at 1:25
thanks kajon.
I remember way too clearly when I was really little my dad yelled at me for kicking under the driver seat in our station wagon. I couldn’t figure out HOW he possibly felt it. Yeah, I tested it. Ugh. Didn’t pan out well.
Sometimes kids need to experience a behavior to know it’s not acceptable. Knowledge is everything.
Maybe she should learn to parent her kid. At the very least, she could apologize to those he is bothering, instead of be smug and dismissive about it.
This is the type of kid who will be here on CC in about 14 years asking about ways to fake in state residency so he can attend his dream school on the cheap.
^^ Nope, I bet it’s mom asking, not Junior.
I actually commented on her blog post after she back pedaled and added more information to her story. I was surprised to receive an email from her offering more to her side of the story. She said that I had been nicer to her than most, so she was willing to respond to me. I had been respectfully critical of her actions btw.
@Nrdsb4 - Interesting. Gotta wonder why anyone would voluntarily go public with a story like hers knowing what the internet is like.
WOW! The level of her entitlement is breathtaking. Yes. It is really hard to travel with babies and toddlers. We’ve all been there. My family lives in the Northeast, we’re on the west coast. Traveling back when they were little was not fun. But it was my responsibility. I chose to move so far away. And I chose to travel with them. I am certainly wasn’t going to whine at somebody else for not understanding the trauma. I wonder how she engaged with that man. He had a son. I’m sure he’d have been sympathetic (it sounded as if he wasn’t yelling at the child but asking gently to stop because mom wasn’t intervening). I’m glad they upgraded he and his son to first class and not her.
If instead of a man it was a pregnant woman sitting in that front seat would this mother reacted differently? Still her approach and attitude was wrong. Anyway it doesn’t matter who was sitting in that front seat kicking the seat ahead of you is behavior to be corrected by the parent. It was her duty to stop her son from continuing to do that.
My mom always spoke of the time she traveled across country alone by plane with a 7 y/o, 3 y/o and baby (me). Between juggling the three of us and one being air sick most of the time she almost lost it. She sang the praises of the stewardess for years.
I would travel back and forth to Japan with my eldest son when he was little- more than 14 hours each way- and I would never have thought of allowing him to bother other passengers. This was before the advent of electronic devices so we brought books, small toys, etc. That served me well when, later on, I’d travel with the two youngest and had to keep them from murdering each other on the plane!!
This mom needs to get over herself and realize that not everyone loves her kid as much as she does and he’s never going to learn to behave if she doesn’t start when he’s little.
@MaineLonghorn - we had to run out early with our 2-year-olds when we stupidly took them to a movie! They just wanted to run full speed up and down the aisle with the pretty lights. It’s so funny how you forget those lovely times.