<p>I’ve had a girlfriend for about 1.5 years.
I never was really in love with her, but we got along well and I was just feeling really lonely at the time, and that’s how the relationship started.</p>
<p>Its been good and I’m happy, but a few months ago I’ve become good friends with another girl who is truly the one! We get along so well and I’m so happy with her.</p>
<p>I just feel uncomfortable dumping my current girlfriend for this new girl. It just seems so cruel, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I mean, I can imagine I would be absolutely livid if my girlfriend randomly dumped me for a better guy. That’s not a good way to treat people, and I understand that.</p>
<p>if the relationship isn’t working, that’s a legitimate reason to break up. But “I found someone better” just seems ridiculous.</p>
<p>But…I can’t stop thinking about this new girl and it feels, with her, VERY different than it ever did with this current girl. I always think about her, honestly if I let this opportunity go, I would regret it for a very long time.</p>
<p>And, I know this makes me sound like a jerk, but meeting this amazing new girl kinda makes me feel unsatisfied with my current relationship, although we were doing fine before she entered the picture.</p>
<p>So…what should I do? Is it wrong of me, to dump my current girlfriend for “someone better”?</p>
<p>Hello! You’re not married! A year and a half is a good run for high school. You ARE in high school, right? Breaking up is WAY better than cheating.Would it help to know that this is likely to happen the other way one day. and not breaking up with someone now won’t prevent it.</p>
<p>So is this a serious question? Because the obvious answer is don’t “dump” her. Have a nice conversation about where your relationship is going. Or not. And ease out of it. This sounds like some hs guys I know who would tag on, “because we’re having sex and I feel like I’m using her- because I am not emotionally committed- so I have to stay with her.” So, stop using her. And, don’t just “use” the next one.</p>
<p>Break up with your current girlfriend, then start a relationship with this new girl. The worst thing you could do is to stay in the current relationship because you feel sorry for your GF and then cheat on her. </p>
<p>We all have to make some tough decisions sometimes. What is important is to treat the other person with dignity.</p>
<p>You’re not “dumping” her for no reason - you are doing it because you are no longer interested in her but in someone else. It’s worse for you to string her along if you are interested in someone else. Man up and do it. You just don’t want to be seen as the bad guy.</p>
<p>I know, I know…but is that a mature way of viewing a relationship? Stick together until a better one comes along? </p>
<p>Isn’t it unethical that I even GOT into a relationship with this girl, when I wasn’t totally serious about it? Wasn’t this whole thing just a total waste of her emotional energy?</p>
<p>The waste is in asking here. Someday, will you be one of those men who slide into marriage because, after all, you’ve been together x years? Then, sliding into parenthood because, after all…
What’s unethical is using the word “dump” or “randomly dump.” Face it squarely and with mutual dignity. You shouldn’t need us to tell you that.
And, don’t make us wonder if you’re trolling.</p>
<p>You had no way of knowing the relationship with Current Girl wouldn’t develop into more over time. Sometimes people just start out as friends and end up more than that. But you’ve given it 1.5 years and it apparently hasn’t really taken off, so you’ve probably given it a fair shot. Is she majorly “in love” with you? Maybe she’s just coasting as well. You would be surprised at how many couples do just that.</p>
<p>@lookingforward: I think using the word “dump” is appropriate here. What do you call it, when you break up because you meet someone better?</p>
<p>My current girlfriend DOES like me and want us to stay together, very much so. It is not some kind of mutual “let’s break up because obviously it isn’t working out”.</p>
<p>It is not FAIR to your current girlfriend to stay with her if you feel this way. I was engaged to a guy who ended up “dumping” me because he met another girl he liked. Thank God for his courage! It would have been a disaster if we’d gotten married.</p>
<p>Then when I met my future husband, I was seeing a nice guy. It was hard to tell him I’d met somebody else, but I did. It all works out!</p>
<p>I’d be remiss not to point out that you also have no way of knowing if New Girl will work out in the long term. Does Current have any knowledge about New? Does she know you are friends with this person?</p>
<p>I guess, here is the main problem I still have: I understand I must dump my current girlfriend if it “isn’t working out”. But the truth is, it IS working out. Its just that this new girl has entered the picture and I’m infatuated with her. If I manage to forget about her, we can still “coast along”. I’m not totally <em>in love</em> with my current girlfriend, but things were basically fine until this new person came along.</p>
<p>Maybe it means that we need to break up anyway, since if it it was “meant to be” with my current girlfriend, I wouldn’t even be considering this…</p>
<p>Dump implies you’re simply shaking her off. Tossing her aside.</p>
<p>You break up when the current relationship isn’t satisfactory, for a million reasons. It doesn’t matter to me if you both want to end the relationshp or just one of you does. If the relationship is going nowhere and you get to a point where you want something else, you have a manly move-on conversation. You don’t “dump” like yesterday’s trash.</p>
<p>It would be entirely different if you were married and/or had kids; I’d think you had a different level of responsibility then. But, I do wonder how much sex is yielding guilt.</p>
<p>It isn’t “working out” if you can seriously state you’ve been “coasting along,” you’re not totally in love (which I think is a way of saying you are not in love,) and you’re infatuated with another.</p>
<p>I strongly disagree with many responses so far. Just for the record, I am not a college student - I am in my mid-20s, so just about your age, a bit older. </p>
<p>This is exactly why so many marriages break apart and people cheat. Of course something new with no daily routines and real life involved is ‘exciting’ and feels like nothing before it. </p>
<p>The truth is, you are already having an emotional affair by having this emotionally intimate relationship with the other girl. And you are betraying (and lying to) the person who stuck by you and got you through the harder times when you were alone. You should tell her the truth. She deserves better. </p>
<p>Just a word of warning - if you keep going like this and allowing yourself to develop these feelings for people while committed to someone else, you’ll be finding new ‘soulmates’ every few years. Try putting your partner first, and then you may actually have a chance at a good relationship - selfishness never got any relationship anywhere.</p>