<p>[‘I</a> Am Adam Lanza’s Mother’: A Mom’s Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America | HuffPost Life)</p>
<p>I read this today and it sheds a bit of light as to what a Mom of a mentally ill child must endure on a daily basis. It’s heartbreaking.</p>
<p>This seems to have gone viral today. I’ve seen it in several places but there are now several critiques of it going around as well. This is just one:</p>
<p>[Want</a> the Truth Behind ?I Am Adam Lanza?s Mother?? Read her blog. | Sarah Kendzior](<a href=“http://sarahkendzior.com/2012/12/16/want-the-truth-behind-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-read-her-blog/]Want”>Want the Truth Behind “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”? Read her blog. | Sarah Kendzior)</p>
<p>I have not read it but am assuming it is a metaphorical title;otherwise, there have been a number of social media trolls setting up accounts pretending to somehow have ties or to be Adam Lanza and they are blatant fakes.</p>
<p>^Wow! She’s the nut job! Maybe CC Mod. can take down this thread. </p>
<p>Alwaysmom: Thanks for the background info regarding the author.</p>
<p>I still think the mom was brave and honest with her statement, and that it has great value. I agree with the following comment at the end of the “Want the Truth?” link:</p>
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<p>I don’t care what the background of the writer is. If parents out there don’t know what to do with mentally-ill and DANGEROUS children, that needs to be addressed.</p>
<p>There are huge red signs that spell “big trouble” when it comes to kids who are likely going to do horrible things…one of those red signs is hurting small animals. There was a student that tortured and killed a small classroom pet. A few years, he killed a totally innocent classmate.</p>
<p>I agree. When my child client spoke of “experimenting” on a cat, I had her hospitalized that day. took 4 hours, but there are signs everyone knows. No excuses. Honestly, never thought about her killing another person, yetq alone large a groups, just instinct.</p>
<p>Sunday’s NBC nightly news had a short promo about her and her story. She’s supposed to be a guest on Monday’s Today show.</p>
<p>alwaysamom, thanks for that link. I read the original story (“I am Adam Lanza’s Mother”) earlier today and I was just a wee bit skeptical. Why? The essay is a heartfelt plea for help with a very emotionally disturbed child. Something about the essay made me suspicious that there was an ulterior motive, and what I suspected was to divert attention from the topic of gun control to the topic of mental illness. You see, if a mentally ill person kills children with guns, there are two approaches to prevent this from happening in the future: 1. Eliminate guns or 2. Eliminate mentally ill people. </p>
<p>This is just a reminder to be skeptical and not take everything you read on the internet at face value. Remember that many are trying to manipulate public opinion, which is your opinion.</p>
<p>At the same time I am very sympathetic. I have read many stories about family members trying to get help for a mentally disturbed relative and being told there was nothing to be done until that person actually broke the law or harmed someone, at which point it ends up being too late.</p>
<p>I have a close friend who is a lawyer (infer educated) whose son would abuse animals-swing cats by the tail, etc. He seems to suffer from some sort of affective disorder-does not connect emotionally w folks. Has always been a bit of a bully and only had one awkward friendship through school until college. Was diagnosed in his middle school years as likely clinically depressed (his mother declined to accept the diagnosis-withdrew him from school and homeschooled him for a few yearrs to provide positive experiences). Now that his life is more of his own, I know less about it. He is distant w his mother and his only sibling, a sister. Is in honors program of a highly competitive state U, graduating in 4 years w 2 bachelors and one masters degree concurrently. I pointed out to my friend years ago I was concerned he possibly had sociopathic personality issues. She and I had raised our children together long distance. Bringing my concerns to her attention only served to break a friendship which has not since healed. She is a rather dominant single parent, and parents consciously, with the best of intentions. So how does one broach such a subject and have issues addressed before something happens? I have no reason to believe he is a danger to anyone but who knows how to know how far to go and what the boundaries are to cross or not?</p>
<p>“There are huge red signs that spell “big trouble” when it comes to kids who are likely going to do horrible things…one of those red signs is hurting small animals.”</p>
<p>I will have to respectfully disagree. If there are folks out there that think they can somewhat reliably predict violence, they should be hugely successful. I think that there are signs or symptoms in the context of a professional evaluation ( i.e. a past history of violance, substance abuse, command hallucinations) but not such that we can become cavalier about who we lock up involuntarily, and not THIS kind of tragedy…well, there WAS that guy on the Staten Island ferry…</p>
<p>BTW; how many of you are aware that bed wetting, along with firesetting and hurting animals, used to be considered a predictor of psychopathy? Now we are quite confident that primary enuresis is purely a medical , and not a mental health problem.</p>
<p>Hurting small animals is of course a sign of problems. And a sign that child needs help. If just to stop hurting animals for pleasure. If I knew a child was hurting animals for joy imwould for sure report them and seek help.</p>
<p>Are you saying hurting animals means nothing? </p>
<p>I don’t put bed wetting in the same category as abusing animals and fire setting. Hurting animals and arson are signs of serious issues. And the fact they hamr others while bed wetting doesn’t to me means something.</p>
<p>With all due respect, I fear this thread is going to go south. Lets just use this time to grieve and comfort each other.</p>
<p>I agree that much more needs to be available to the loved ones of mentally ill people. Right now, they have so few options and we do NOT treat our mentally ill people well in our nation. They have to AGREE to get treatment for them to receive ANY treatment. If they’re above the age of consent and refuse, in most places in the US, they do NOT get any treatment, no matter how much loved ones plead and beg. Even if they do get involuntary treatment, in most places, it is for a maximum of 72 hours–how much treatment can anyone receive for a severe mental illness in 72 hours?</p>
<p>A lot of the quotations from this person’s blog that supposedly proved that she has violent impulses towards her children sounded very much like the kind of deliberately exaggerated, tongue-in-cheek complaints that a lot of parents engage in when they’re frustrated. I doubt that any of them were serious. (I have not yet read the original post that went viral.)</p>
<p>Even if that’s the case, Donna, this woman is still posting photos of her children and plenty of identifying information to go along with it. Changing her son’s first name is simply not enough to protect his privacy. It’s as good as child abuse, IMO.</p>
<p>OK, I’m not sure what’s up with the “behind the blog” particulars of THIS particular mom & family, but the issues raised in my prior post are still issues that I believe our country needs to address. There need to be more mental health resources for ALL people–adults and kids. Loved ones and sufferers really have few options with regard to mental health, especially if the person with the alleged mental health issue is above the age of consent. There are so few treatment options and many of the providers have long waiting lists. Treatment facilities are often scary places rather than welcoming ones, adding more complications to people in need of help and treatmnet.</p>
<p>Roshke, when I wrote what I wrote I hadn’t seen her blog post yet. Now that I have, I completely agree: if that’s really a photo of her son, posting it like that is inexcusable, as is disclosing his problems in detail to the world. If her son ever reads it (and he’s 13, not 3), I wouldn’t be surprised if he never trusted her again.</p>
<p>“There need to be more mental health resources for ALL people–adults and kids.” </p>
<p>True. But the trick is that often troubled teens don’t want help. And once they turn 18, they can’t easily be forced. Not sure how that hurdle could be overcome, even with a perfect mental health system.</p>
<p>How do other nations handle it better? It would be good to look for better models. Of course, it’s important for people to have GOOD choices to choose among. We have gotten some counseling when dealing with issues and I must say there is a wide variety in quality of counselors out there. We have tried many and found them not particularly helpful. </p>
<p>In-patient care is even more limited, expensive and less attractive to many, even though that is one of the few ways of delivering more intensive treatment for seriously troubled people. I don’t have answers but do have a lot of concerns from our few limited exposures to various counselors over the years, both connected with schools and medical settings. Some breached confidentiality that they PROMISED both the kid patient and us as parents that they would uphold, as they are ethically and legally required to honor. Have found it very underwhelming and upsetting.</p>