<p>It could be that the mother pulled her son out of school because she was fed up with the amazing intransigence of public school systems. </p>
<p>Many of us have had difficulty getting public schools to make even simple adjustments in their routines to meet an individual child’s needs. One of my kids had a medical problem for a while that made it necessary to have access to a bathroom at all times – and a doctor’s note to substantiate it. But the school refused to cooperate, saying “We can’t let them go to the bathroom any time they want to. There would be chaos!”</p>
<p>If the public schools can’t deal appropriately with something that simple, could they really deal appropriately with the much more complex situation of a child who is unusually intelligent and also has special needs?</p>
<p>^^In general schools have difficulty dealing with any kids at either end of the intelligence bell curve. Some districts have good alternative education programs and other districts do not. Not only is each state different but districts within the state can be vastly different. The “idea” that took hold was to mainstream kids as much as possible, but clearly if kids are not able to be mainstreamed then it falls these days to the parents and the resources are often not there. Back in the 60s and 70s my mother masters was on “exceptional children” which was the term often used…it referred to all kids that differed from a typical kid. I’m not sure if they use that term today, but any kid who differs from the middle of the bell curve for whatever reason is “complex” and comes to school with their own issues be they mental, sensory, communication, behavioral, emotional or physical.</p>
<p>I’m glad that the two have put differences aside for the greater cause and also that she claims to see the point Sarah and others have made regarding her child’s right to privacy. The fact that she didn’t expect this to go viral is beside the point, however, and all of the identifying information on her blog remains. </p>
<p>I think it’s absolutely terrible that someone tries to capitalize on the shooter’s mother name with the headline, “I am Adam Lanza’s mother”…… bunk! This woman, who may be worried about her own son, does not deserve any attention for her blog. Disgusting. </p>
<p>They haven’t even buried the children yet, nor have the authorities established Lanza’s mental state or mental history. (If he was on medication, we don’t know which ones or what kind of therapists he was seeing.) This is a very active case, with forensics working on damaged computers and eye witnesses telling their story.</p>
<p>There have been so many stories in the news, but this one deserves to be in the trash instead.</p>
<p>Hurting animals and settiNg fires for fun and creating pain are red flags. Period. Even if it goes no further.</p>
<p>After listening to many programs re this topic today, it seems a huge problem is parents getting help for their out of control kids. Often the response is no help until the police are involved the insurance companies do not see ,mental health as important even though one in four will have mental health issues from depression to psychosis to bipolar disorder post pardum depression. One in four.</p>
<p>There are parents who do all they can, but resources are few.<br>
Then there is denial. Or this is my cross to bear. </p>
<p>And there is never going to be a suitable time to discuss this. These events will co ti ie happening and if we wait until we have “all the facts” nothing will ever change.</p>
<p>Yes the children aren’t buried yet. But meantime another Adam is growing up. Another parent is seeing the signs. Another family is looking for help to avoid another tragedy.</p>
<p>It’s not capitalizing on tragedy, it’s trying to stop another one. </p>
<p>Its like saying oh can’t talk aboutndrinking and driving after an accident. </p>
<p>People are dealing with troubled children and family members daily, and there will never be the ideal time to talk about it.
I applaud the mother talking about her son. Take way the hiding and the shame. Maybe in doing so she is saving a life.</p>
<p>News flash!! Boys are pyros. Period. I have raised one boy, had an older brother, and was a Scout leader for 11 years, giving me a wealth of experience to base my statement on. I have yet to encounter a boy that was not fascinated by fire, and that wouldn’t light something just to watch it burn. I’m not talking catching a house or building on fire on purpose, but those small fires they set just to watch them burn will get out of hand and burn acres of a Scout Ranch (seen it).</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang quote: *I don’t follow your reasoning, mom2collegekids. Bed wetting is common, and we now know it is a physical symptom having to do with physical maturity. So why would it be a symptom of anything, even when combined with other symptoms? It’d be like saying liking the color purple isn’t a red flag, but liking the color purple combined with torturing animals and having tantrums that last three hours is a red flag… all the work is done in the tortures and tantrums, and liking purple has nothing to do with it.
*</p>
<p>Because altho bed wetting is often caused by physical issues, it’s not ALWAYS caused by that. You are assuming that bed wetting is always caused by physical maturity. NO. Not always…only mostly. So, if the only symptom is bed wetting, then probably no red flag.</p>
<p>However, sexual abuse and physical abuse can lead to bed wetting. That’s why I wrote what I did. If a child is exhibiting all 3 red flags, bed-wetting, animal cruelty, and playing with fire then that would arouse suspician that something is wrong and perhaps something awful has gone on with that child or his household.</p>
<p>I thought that the point that Cardinal Fang was making was that based on current medical knowledge, experts consider the use of bedwetting as a red flag to be outdated and inaccurate.</p>
<p>The increased used of SSRI drugs are also a factor to be considered. I did read he was taking an SSRI. I wonder how many of the other shooters were on anti-depressants? I know the counter argument - many people in the US take anti-depressants with no ill effects. That is evidenced by the fact that it is a billion dollar a day industry. For some, these drugs can alter their brain chemistry considerably, especially if the drugs aren’t monitored or taken properly. There is considerable evidence that bizarre behavior such as this can result. The research is there to back this up.</p>
<p>Pharmaceutical companies have too much power. Whenever there is a lawsuit, they will always settle out of court for fear of negative publicity. I think it is time for these companies (and the doctors who prescribe them so easily) to start answering some tough questions. Sadly, it has been our experience that doctors give out these meds like candy. When my father, who was complaining of a stiff knee is prescribed prozac, that is a huge problem.</p>
<p>Since reading the book I mentioned upthread, I now question every bizarre case that I read about: like the girl who set herself on fire, or the mom who who threw her child over a bridge or the dad who killed his sleeping family. All these people suffered from depression. But now I am convinced that it wasn’t the depression that made them act this way, it was their medication.</p>
<p>*I thought that the point that Cardinal Fang was making was that based on current medical knowledge, experts consider the use of bedwetting as a red flag to be outdated and inaccurate.
*</p>
<p>The point was about whether it can be part of a triad. Alone it’s often meaningless…as part of a triad it may not be. </p>
<p>Cardinal’s point suggested that bedwetting is only caused by physical immaturity, so it isn’t relevant at all…and that the symptom is meaningless even when COMBINED with other symptoms. That isn’t true. While bedwetting usually is caused by physical immaturity, it’s not always caused by that…so when that symptom presents with OTHER red flags, that may indicate something more serious.</p>
<p>and I meant to write : You are assuming that bed wetting is always caused by physical immaturity…</p>
<p>To further clarify, cruelty to animals and fire setting (with deliberate intention of causing serious damage) are part of the diagnostic list for conduct disorder, which is a precursor to antisocial personality disorder. Bedwetting plays no role here.</p>
<p>Antisocial personality disorder is the diagnosis (made in individuals over 18) who are intentionally cruel, cold and have an association with violence and criminality. It was the makeup of one of the Columbine culprits. The other seemed to have a severe depression and became caught in the black hole.</p>
<p>It is unfortunate that Aspergers/autism is getting the negative attention of association with violence. Certainly any vulnerable person can break. That includes those suffering from psychosis, mood disorders, personality disorders, as well as substance abusers and “normal” people.</p>
<p>On another note, you don’t bring weapons into the home of a vulnerable child. Period. </p>
<p>From what has been released, it sounds like this young man’s behavior could not have been predicted. We will have to wait and see.</p>
<p>Yes, something needs to be done. I have several friends that are absolutely frustrated and frightened about the future of their young adult children with mental illness. It’s not just the insurance companies; some have the resources and are willing to pay anything to find solutions that will help their child have some quality of life. Admittedly, one big problem is often these adult children are not amenable to suggested solutions, making their parents are powerless to help them.</p>
<p>Someone needs to make the pharmaceutical companies accountable as well. Too often desperate parents put children in need of mental health counseling on medications that have very powerful side effects when these drugs are not taken as intended or closely monitored by doctors. It may be a piece of the puzzle that is overlooked and explain the rise in unspeakable actions that were unheard of in previous generations.</p>
<p>Ok. Several sources cited that he was on anti psychotic drugs as were many of the other shooters. In any case, it is sad that he had access to guns in the home given the problems that he was dealing with personally. I do not believe that his mother could have predicted that he would turn a gun against her and never in a million years against those beautiful children.</p>
<p>The gunman who slaughtered 20 children and six adults at a Connecticut elementary school may have snapped because his mother was planning to commit him to a psychiatric facility, according to a lifelong resident of the area who was familiar with the killer’s family and several of the victims’ families.</p>
<p>IMO–Snap isn’t the right word to describe his actions. This was a pre-planned, well thought out violent action. My guess is that he had planned this out over time.</p>
<p>If his mother knew he was mentally unstable and was trying to commit him for psychiatric care, why on earth did she have those guns somewhere he could access them?!</p>