The biggest long run issue in my marriage is I can be a slob. My wife hates this.
My office in my last house was messier than Neal Gabler’s (for those who have seen photos or videos of the inside of his house). My office was too messy for pigs. So, when my wife and I talked about downsizing, my wife said I had to promise to keep the new place clean. She did not want to see a mess. I promised I woukd keep the new place clean.
We downsized. In the new place, two of my desks are cluttered with papers and books. My wife hates this but she tolerates this.
Because of a @Pizzagirl post about somebody being a pig, I decided to take action. I cleaned one desk an hour ago. Removed the clutter. The desk looks great.
If my wife notices, I will clean up the other desk.
What about you? Clean? A pig? This thread isn’t just for married people, but for married people, this is an issue. Right?
I’m not OCD but I’m pretty clean. I realize it when visiting family members and being fearful of where I sit! There might be a cat under there…
D3 likes mess and it seems to be some sort of nest-building impulse to cover the floor. Maybe she was a cold bird in a previous life.
Generally, when people are crowded they have to be neater or they’re stuff will get buried, so downsizing is a good option. Getting up the energy to clean out closets is tougher for most people.
I am very messy. My office desk is always piled with papers. But I can find out what I need!
DH, on the other hand, is very neat. He doesn’t like my messiness. On the other hand, I am ALWAYS on time, and he is usually late. So we have learned to put up with each other. He organizes stuff around the house, and I make sure we get places on time.
I just got divorced (three weeks ago). I’m not a neat freak but I like to be able find things and I don’t like having a lot of possessions. My ex-h and my daughters are pack rats. I’m trying to deal now (finally) with the results of their years of amassing stuff. It’s frustrating.
A couple of couples we know have houses so clean and have everything placed perfectly. Its like they live in museums.
We visited Al and Joanne’s house.
My wife said to me, Why can’t you be as clean as Al and Joanne?
And I answered, "Are you kidding? Al and Joanne’s house is so clean, I don’t think they live here. I think they have maids cleaning 24/7 except when they invite guests.
My husband taught me to be cleaner. He’s obsessive, case in point I line out my ingredients before I start cooking. If I go to the bathroom or turn my back he has been known to put it all away. First thing he does when he walks into the house is to go to the sink and do any dishes or unload the dishwasher. He’ll put away water glasses if they are left for a moment. He’s so particular about laundry I just stopped trying and he does it all.
I do like things clean. I sweep the kitchen floor every day. We have a cleaning lady every other week now. I like things picked up and clean.
When my kids were babies I needed notice to have anyone over. Now anyone could stop by any time and I’m not worried about a mess.
My home office can get a little cluttered but I try and go through anything on my desk every few days.
I have a little office that is off what is supposed to be a “library,” but is actually a music room, where we have our piano. You can’t see my office from the rest of the house, or even from the music room unless you know to look for it. I’d have to amend my “clean freak” square footage to my closet AND my little office.
I’m a slob and a pack rat (though I’ve gotten much better about that)
Mr R is much neater than me but it’s because he tends to be a minimalist.
We were pretty good about keeping the house at least neat before I got sick. Now I have zero energy to dedicate to cleaning and Mr R is pulling double duty working full time and being my caregiver so our house is admittedly very messy. I’d hire a maid in a heartbeat if I could.
My dad is like me and my mom is much more of a neat freak. She’s relaxed considerably over the years though. When we lived together, she just let me have a messy room as long as there was no food left out. She just shut the door to my room and pretended it wasn’t there. Now that she and my dad are in a very tiny retirement cottage, she allows him to have a messy desk space in the back of the cottage and the rest of the house is clean.
My momma is wonderful and comes over every time I have to go get a treatment and then she stays the weekend to clean the house. It’s her way of taking care of her sick “baby.”
I hate the museum clean houses. It doesn’t feel homey and I am afraid to touch anything.
Clean freak minimalist here; I save very little and have no pack-rat tendencies at all. I gave my kids and bff’s copies of
Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. After reading it, I started giving away so much stuff to a local charity that recycles household items for low-income families that I’m on first name basis with the staff.
My H isn’t a pack rat but he is absent-minded–always looking for his car keys, iphone, and wallet. I have setup all sorts of systems so he will always be able to find his stuff–doesnt work. He can’t do it or chooses no to do so. I have given up and accept him as he is.
I have a feeling that people cant change–no real evidence to back it up. I think a slob will always be a slob and a neat freak will always be a neat freak.
I am clean enough. My house is usually straightened out, dishes are done, beds are made. If I had unexpected company I wouldn’t care. I’m not so clean that I care that my H makes a mess. He is not concerned about messiness and not concerned with picking up his messes. It used to be a big issue but I’ve learned to love his other attributes and ignore this one.
My mom is super concerned about keeping her house super clean to the point that it interferes with guests. She will not let things go and has always been this way. I’ve tried to not let a bit of mess upset me.
I am a neat freak but I have one big junk draw in the kitchen that H is constantly straightening up and throwing stuff out - it’s a junk drawer for a reason! Yet, his desk in our office is completely covered in clutter. He also doesn’t put stuff away, like tools. After he is done using it he’ll just leave it on the counter or island instead of putting it back in the basement where it belongs. He tells me he’s not quite done using it.
I think I’ve actually gotten worse since buying my own house. Before, I kept things clean out of respect for my mom. Now it’s my stuff and I just don’t have the same motivation.
Sigh… I really, truly wish I was neater. I’ve tried to change for several years but I fall back into old habits. I just get distracted doing something else and then there are little piles of mess everywhere.
Pretty clean, pretty organized, except for the “Drawer Filled With Junk that I might need some time”.
I give away clothes often, Throw shoes out when they get old. Try not to collect tons of useless stuff. Still have too much for my liking, but that’s because we have kids, dog, house that needs tools etc. We finished our basement a few years back, and we got rid of a lot of stuff. That was refreshing.
I look forward to a day when I own a house that needs less maintenance. I want a little but smaller house with an easier yard to maintain. I like a neat, well cared for yard.
I like a clean kitchen, clean bathroom. We have a dog so the house isn’t perfect, that’s OK. I just can’t stand gross.
Make the beds every day.
I read somewhere that a good feng shui principle was to have an empty drawer in each room. I try to live by that wherever possible. if it’s not useful or brings me joy, I don’t want it. I love to read, but have few books. I give them away or use a library.
My H is gone tonight (on call at hospital) so I’ll declutter my nightstand and maybe another area. It will take maybe 30 mins and I can do it while watching TV or whatever. I could not live with big piles of clutter. When that’s happened, I just would pull an all nighter and get rid of it.
My two weak spots are that I hate to make my bed, and I don’t have a good holding point for clothing that has been worn and can be worn again.
Frustrated clean freak here. I hate living in clutter and mess, but our home is often a disaster in my view. Dh laughs at me, as do our kids. He draws comparisons to relatives’ homes where dog and/or cat fur coats every surface, bathrooms might get cleaned once a month and piles of stuff are all over. Our closets, and some drawers, are a mess because I tend to run around and hide the clutter every time we have guests coming.
Dh leaves his own stuff wherever it was last used. He sloshes coffee on the counters and floor without wiping up, piles mail and papers from work on the kitchen counter, and doesn’t think to take his dirty clothes to the laundry room until he’s out of underwear or socks. He says he’s willing to do chores, but he can’t see anything that needs to be done and always insists that I make a list for him. The list gets lost under other stuff on his desk.
I’ve tried using a cleaning service, but spent so much time putting stuff away so they could clean and then trying to find it again that it didn’t seem worthwhile. We have house guests coming in a couple of weeks and I may have to hire help again. Too many health problems get in the way of me doing all of the work, and dh is at the office 10 hours/day.
