The key is having a place for everything. We have a basket for the bills, I literally open mail over the trash can. A place for keys, purses, etc. It’s why I didn’t consider downsizing when we moved.
When we moved I also couldn’t believe how much dust and dirt was under the furniture and area rugs. My new vow is once a year to move furniture, roll up carpets and really clean under there. I have a lot of furniture and rugs on order now, as much as I don’t like living in such an austere environment right now, at least I know it’s clean.
I get annoyed and even cranky once in a while if I walk into my house and it’s cluttered and dirty, but I also can take a breath most of the time and turn a blind eye towards some of it. I guess that makes me a clean lover who can reluctantly tolerate some messes.
I definitely like things to be nice and neat when we get home from trips. I love traveling, and it’s sometimes hard enough to leave that grand adventure without coming home to a house that is not as neat as the places we stay. It’s difficult to not have daily maid service, lol!
Oh, and I don’t like surprise visits from anyone unless my house is neat. My mind goes into panic mode, and I think, most likely (hopefully) erroneously, that they are judging me. Also, I drive my kids and spouse crazy before company comes. I wish I weren’t like that.
We take off shoes at the doors most of the time, but I’m not bothered by people wearing them in the house as long as they don’t track dirt. I’m sure I’d feel differently if we had carpet in the living areas; we have hardwood everywhere except in the carpets.
Here are some things that help keep me more organized: 1) I sometimes recycle (in our community, each household is given one receptacle for trash and one for recycling) while on the way from the mailbox to the front door.
2) I have a shoebox-sized container for important incoming mail (bills, etc.).
3) Very important documents (e.g., birth certificates) go in the one (tiny) desk in the house.
4) I use the table in the foyer for books and magazines that need to go back to the library or that I’m planning to give away.
5) I contemplate my mom, age 87, who managed to get rid of lots of things long ago, and my in-laws, both 90, who couldn’t part with anything and now are physically and mentally impaired and can’t deal with things. My mom’s example motivates me to keep on decluttering.
Yippee! What a coincidence! My H just told me he contacted cleaners to come once or twice a month! I cheered, “Oh, thank God!” and laughed while I told him about this thread. We really just want someone to vacuum (our Rainbow isn’t working properly–grrr), wash the floors and baseboards, and deep clean all of the bathrooms.
We constantly declutter. (Well, all except our youngest, who is 10, and has a hard time even thinking about getting rid of her toys. That’s ok. It’ll pass, and I’ll miss all of those toys some day. I just keep trying to get her to put stuff away after she’s done.) Putting stuff in boxes or bags to sort through later doesn’t work for us, as it tends to stay in a corner of a closet until much later, and I get overwhelmed thinking about going through it. We have to take care of it at the moment, not after.
We do the best we can with our family of 6 while striving to not drive any of us too crazy either by our desire for cleanliness and a showcase-type house or by our desire to be immersed in life and projects and not have a showcase house.
PG–I honestly don’t expect anyone to understand this–why I can’t “just DO it.” I don’t completely understand it myself. It is like a mental block. But I suspect this type of feeling is not all that uncommon. I do pieces of it now and then. Up until this point I always had a move to motivate the major purges. But now I need internal motivation. I’ve done my basement, garage, etc. But this office/bedroom is always last on the list. . .part of the problem is that I want H to deal with HIS stuff, share this task with me. And that ain’t happening.
My house is filled with my daughters’ and ex-husband’s stuff. It’s very hard to motivate myself to deal with their things. I feel much resentment that they left me with a bunch of junk.
One issue exists in a basememnt, the house gets cleaned by cleaning lady on a regular basis. Basement is filled by H’s junk. My junk is all organized and easy to access when I need it.
I think it’s very brave to admit that your house is messy or you aren’t as clean as you’d like to be. Everyone can’t be everything.
On the outside, my sisters house looks perfect. Her landscaping is perfect. Her decorating is designer worthy and she has an amazing house cleaner and it’s so nice. But open her drawers or closets and things fall out at you.
You know what, it makes me love her even more. To know that everything isn’t perfect
Me, my house is usually clean enough. But I hate yard work. Hate, hate, hate it. I can’t think of something I would rather do less than yard work. Thankfully my H doesn’t hate it. I can definitely relate to those who have trouble keeping organized.
Speaking to your points above, @deb922, last time we were in the market for a home, I thought it interesting that houses seemed to be either well decorated and maintained on the inside or beautifully landscaped on the outside, but rarely both. It was obvious that many people have a preference/interest in one over the other.
I imagine that at some price point, there is enough money to hire someone to create the perfection for you on all fronts. We weren’t look at that price point.
I can only now consider letting go of some things. With the second kid moving on to college and not one of them asking about anything I’ve packed or stored, I know it must be done.
It pulls at me, though. I want to be brave and proud of the open, empty spaces which will appear, but…
Funny to have you guys inside of my head on this one.
Going through my kids’ childhood bedrooms was one of the most emotionally exhausting tasks I’ve ever done. I hired a painter and had a deadline for motivation.
I totally “get” not being able to just buckle down and get purging done. I’m very attached to some (too many) things and think maybe it stems from feeling like I’ve had so much loss in my life, mainly from too many moves during childhood.
I also totally get either inside or outside being picture perfect. I have 4 acres of yard and flowers. Much more appealing to me than cleaning the basement or attic.
I’ve been working on purging stuff from my basement and garage, things that have been stockpiled over the majority of my kid’s life. It’s been a slow process and a bit painful because of the nostalgia factor and the memories but its getting done little by little. Some things were down there for so long, toys for example, I am now selling them as vintage.
When I was younger I worried a lot about what people thought, and wanted my house to be pristine before We had people over. When I got divorced, I had to pick my priorities. Working full time plus, with a long commute, having two young kids, and a fairly large house, something had to give. I stopped worrying about what people would think. If they didn’t like it, they could certainly choose not to come back. The basics were always taken care of, but the nouse was definitely lived in.
Here is what bugs me. I have a clean house, we’re neat by nature and organized…yet it seems people will say, my house is a mess because I chose to spend it with my children…as if I was obviously ignoring my kids if I had a picked up, organized and clean house. Or those people with the nice house are drowning in debt, the people with the clean house ignore the kids, etc. People feel like they need to assume if someone is more successful, or thin, attractive, have a clean house etc must have something horrible going on you don’t know about that evens it out.
“People feel like they need to assume if someone is more successful, or thin, attractive, have a clean house etc must have something horrible going on you don’t know about that evens it out.”
I don’t. Other people have things together in ways I might not; I can be jealous (like the above) or I can look to them for ideas and inspiration.
