<p>Thanks so much to everyone for your supportive words and well-thought out replies. </p>
<p>To clarify, I am not posed to “jump in” here and do much of anything. I called Student Affairs because I wanted to learn what the process was - and they were a good contact for that. (How it may or may not apply to this case is still a mystery. I think “Tom” will probably just vanish.) My son is perfectly capable of figuring this mess out on his own - but I know he has appreciated having sympathetic ears around home.</p>
<p>My thoughts on writing a letter to his parents is strictly to encourage them to get their son some help. I know enough about them that I am reasonably sure they care about him. We also care a lot about this kid. Tom struggles with a physical disability that they have been very supportive about. My son says he is sure his parents know nothing about this situation - that they were encouraging him to transfer to be closer to home. (They have moved since he started college.)</p>
<p>We’ve talked about forgiveness this week, and I think that is the main lesson here. Love the sinner, hate the sin. In an odd way I hope my son can salvage some sort of a relationship with Tom. At this point I am actually feeling pretty worried about Tom, as he is very ostracized at school now and must be feeling like a total loser. My son seems to still be on cordial terms with him.</p>
<p>Meantime, my son has made other living arrangements for next semester and is not interested in moving for the remaining 3 weeks. I’m sure he’ll keep a close eye on his stuff. </p>
<p>I must be really naive though, as I must confess that I am a little shocked at the several other similar stories on here. And I guess the other lesson here (a sad one for sure) is that you have to be careful who you trust.</p>