<p>First I saw a video about an 8 year old getting botox, now this.</p>
<p>[Abercrombie</a> Padded Bikini Top For 8-Year-Olds Angers Parents (VIDEO)](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>Abercrombie Padded Bikini Top For 8-Year-Olds Angers Parents (VIDEO) | HuffPost Life)</p>
<p>Why can’t we let kids be kids in this country?</p>
<p>Years ago, I got into it with one mom of another little girl who had made fun of my daughter’s age appropriate clothing. The mother said to me: “well, what am I supposed to do? She wants to dress like Britney Spears.” I said “She’s 10, unless she has a trust fund, you are paying for her clothing. Just don’t buy it for her!” Her response: “Oh, but she cries if I won’t!” Man up, so to speak - be a parent!</p>
<p>I do not shop at A & F and my kids know how I feel about that store. Not one of them has ever asked for an outfit there. Interestingly, my daughter got a lot of han me down A & F clothing from another friend of mine. My D put that stuff on the side. We discussed whether it was better to throw it out or donate it. Some of it we donated but the items she felt were trashy, we tossed in the garbage.</p>
<p>When she was in middle school, she and her friends used to refer to the girls who dressed like adult hookers as “prostitots,” a name I think they heard on TV. Most of these girls had mothers who dressed like hookers as well.</p>
<p>I was pleased to see that there was a backlash of moms saying no to the padded bikinis.</p>
<p>Yep, my response is the same as to those parents who said, “Well, Johnny will not sit in his car seat!” Ummm, who is the parent? Probably the same parents that let 10 year olds tell them how they are going to dress…like “prostitots”. Love that term…</p>
<p>Having said that, I think our media driven sexualized culture does a big disservice to women. There are a lot of 17-30 year olds dressing like “prostiadults”. Why do these girls/women think everyone else wants to see their cleavage?</p>
<p>When D entered middle school all of a sudden her classmates were wearing thongs. It was just weird that these young girls who had been playing tag on the playground the year before were suddenly trying to be sexual creatures.</p>
<p>Back in the 70’s when I was a young teen, showing a nipple outline was normal. Now it’s not. The “lightly lined” tops don’t bother me because they are just shielding what is now considered obscene. The push-up tops are just wrong. The photos on the “kids” part of the website are highly sexualized… just like the teens in the regular Abercrombie ads.</p>
<p>My daughter’s take on A&F - “why do the bags for a store that sells clothes have naked people on them?” Flatly refused to set foot inside.</p>
<p>Yep, my response is the same as to those parents who said, “Well, Johnny will not sit in his car seat!” Ummm, who is the parent?</p>
<p>Haven’t you had a child who unfastens the seat belt/car seat strap?
repeatedly?</p>
<p>We used to tell the kids that the car would not go if the seat belts were not fastened. When they tested it, we slowed & coasted to the curb.</p>
<p>Once my FIL got in & was not fastening his (we would not have let that go by if he persisted)–and Back Seat Bertha shrieked “Grandpa! The car won’t go if you don’t fasten your belt!”</p>
<p>When my friends were cooking 2 or 3 different dinners because the kids would not eat this & that, I would say, who is buying the food? Grow a spine!</p>
<p>“Having said that, I think our media driven sexualized culture does a big disservice to women. There are a lot of 17-30 year olds dressing like “prostiadults”. Why do these girls/women think everyone else wants to see their cleavage?”</p>
<p>And try to buy a top if you are in your 50s and don’t care to give the world a view of yours! Yet also do not wish to buy what my 80 year old mother used to call Alfred Dumbass clothes. (Apologies to those who like them, but that is what she’d say)</p>
<p>JRZMom…I agree with you…try and buy a top when you are in your 50’s. I mostly wear blouses with an occasional sweater. Hate tight fitting clothes and I’m not about to show cleavage or stomach. Who would want to see it anyways? Oh I guess my husband!
As the mom of 2 daughters (20 & 17), it is a challenge and has been for a long time to find appropriate clothes. At least at this point I think they get it but we sure had a huge learning curve to overcome a few years ago.</p>
<p>I remember when D2 was little, she was not much of an eater (actually, she still isn’t much of one). To make food fun, I would cut the crusts off sandwiches and then cut them into little triangles–we’d call them “Barbie triangles.” (Not sure what Barbie had to do with it…I guess I was just trying brand extension.)</p>
<p>When she went over to a neighbor’s house to play one day, the mom served sandwiches–crusts on, cut in half at the most. D2 said, “At my house, we cut off the crusts and cut them into triangles.” The mom’s response, “At our house, we don’t.” D2 thought about it for a minute and then happily ate the sandwich.</p>
<p>Thankfully she’s almost made it through her teenage years…</p>
<p>A&F story: My teenage niece wanted an A&F giftcard for Christmas so I waltz in, purchase it and waltz out. I glanced at the card inside the fancy envelope and it has a man wearing only blue jeans and they are SO low it was almost porn. I return to store. I said this card is soft porn and I can NOT give it to my 13 year old niece. They are nice, but have no other cards and say they can’t refund a giftcard. I pitched a small fit :-). Finally…they decide they CAN refund my giftcard. NEVER AGAIN!!!</p>
<p>Believe me I have returned home many times because she wouldn’t stay in her car seat.</p>
<p>I haven’t bought anything from A & F, except a rancher style coat that I found at a consignment shop- it is a little narrow so I gave it to D.
It was cute- but I don’t think that retailers need to appeal to lowest common denominator to sell merchandise.</p>
<p>Glad to say neither of my girls do either-
haven’t seen the swim suits, I was surprised that suits at REI had padding/lining- not sure which it was for as I didn’t try any on. I don’t need any extra, but a little lining is fine, but too much foam rubber & it will make me sweat off what I have left!</p>
<p>OK, almost at 50 and yes, it is very difficult to buy a top that isn’t low-cut, super thin, and clingy. Ditto for pre-teen and teen girls’ clothes. Agreed. However, I don’t and won’t buy or wear them. Can’t those manufacturers see we have money and would spend more it they would actually make something we liked?</p>
<p>RE: the car seats (I made the original comment). Oh, I think we’ve all had a few instances of those squirmy kids, but I mean <em>few</em>. Like most things with kids, it depends on how strictly you enforce something and if you do want you say, and say what you do and they know you will enforce the consequences.</p>
<p>I used the car seat example b/c I was thinking of my SIL and specifically of her then very bratty 3 year old, who said things like, “I don’t want to sit in my car seat, so I don’t.” Her parents let her get away with that (among many things) time after time. Now she is a bratty 13 year old. It didn’t take a genius to predict this, or the things that are to come in the next 7 years…</p>
<p>A local woman let her thoughts on the padded bikini tops be known here:</p>
<p>[Woman</a> cited for Abercrombie bikini protest at South Coast Plaza | abercrombie, coast, bikini - Business - The Orange County Register](<a href=“Woman cited for Abercrombie bikini protest at South Coast Plaza – Orange County Register”>Woman cited for Abercrombie bikini protest at South Coast Plaza – Orange County Register)</p>
<p>
Lol, I take it you didn’t see the chin-to-knee photo by the cologne display of the guy holding his jeans? D likes A and F, but since the prices are so high, we usually only buy things that are marked down. And they have to cover enough, at least with cami’s, to be “grandma approval worthy”. </p>
<p>D’s old enough at 16 to appreciate the displays. Not old enough to get the catalog ;).</p>
<p>I love that lady doing the protesting. Hope I am that gutsy at 75!! ((I’m guessing the store decided persecuting, I mean prosecuting, an old lady in a wheel chair was not the kind of publicity they wanted).</p>
<p>Haha it’s refreshing to see white parents complain about A&F. I see hordes of Asians shopping there in NYC (some of them FOBs) who have no idea how much that store discriminates against their image.</p>
<p>Much of the problem comes from people (both youth and parent) who let fashion choices be dictated by stores and advertising. Individuals should strive to create a unique and rebellious personal image. </p>
<p>re: the people who complain about sexuality. at least for me, I don’t read that much into it. I mean, college was a culture shock for me, especially to live with rich privileged international students, but I’ve been accustomed to the whole thing that I don’t really see fashion companies as “oh, they’re hypersexualising their ads” – it’s just another tool of class and socioeconomic politics, and that’s what the brands are really all about. For older teenagers and the college-aged, sexuality brings friends, contacts, networks, good job interviews, wealth, power – status. </p>
<p>I mean surely you older folks knew this once. When I see A&F clothes though I don’t get images of prostidults and sexualised imagery though; that might have been my reaction four years ago but not today. When I see a girl dressing a certain style, I read into it swagger, class identity, social capital and political power, that sets herself apart from say, the Hispanic girl on the 7 train who also dresses with elements of sexuality but the cultural divide is such that her dress elements are intended to ingratiate herself with the networks of her world and her community.</p>
<p>Perhaps parallel issues affect 8-year-olds. Someone’s daughter got made fun of for wearing age-appropriate clothing you say – that’s the true nature of these sexualised attires – it’s all about social and political power, and politics affects 8-year-olds on the playground as much as they affect 28-year-olds on the street. That’s why girls clamour to be Britney Spears.</p>
<p>The first time I saw something like this wasn’t at abercrombie, but at Target. Several years ago I was in the girls sections and saw their bra display in the girls section (think sizes 28AA, etc). They had padded bras in these sizes that were clearly meant for very young pre teen girls. My jaw nearly dropped. This is nothing new. You can still find padded bras for very young girls. Check out your local Target, Kohls, etc.</p>
<p>frenchcoldplay–I think you hit it on the head. It’s a social thing among little girls.</p>
<p>8-year-olds on the playground (some of them) are aware of what they are wearing and already use clothing to indicate how “cool” they are. The queen bees look down on the clueless ones wearing age-appropriate clothing and still enjoying the sandbox. (That latter would have been me!)</p>
<p>I am using this opportunity to educate so please don’t take this the wrong way- but believe me it is far more than being firm as this might indicate.</p>
<p>Like most things with kids, it depends on how strictly you enforce something and if you do want you say, and say what you do and they know you will enforce the consequences.</p>
<p>I happen to have a child who has a spectrum disorder & that influences the extent to which she reacts to sensory stimulus.
She could have a melt down in a grocery store or even upon arriving at school & it had nothing to do with my parenting skills or her ability to " behave".</p>
<p>That child kicking & screaming, may be spoiled or they may not be able to process & control the amount of input coming at them & so lose control.
Medication helps…some, learning new strategies or simply avoiding some things helps a little as well- but not everything helps always.
That is where compassion & understanding comes in.</p>