<p>For various reasons (including overbearing parents in high school, not fitting in socially in college, social awkwardness), I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t think I’m that worried about this by itself, but I keep going back and forth. I’m really scared though that others are going to label me as “weird,” and that this will just make it harder to find a girlfriend later. Also, people have told me that they don’t enjoy being their boyfriend’s first girlfriend - that their boyfriend doesn’t really know what he’s doing. I don’t know what I can do, if anything, to fix this.</p>
<p>I’ve tried talking to my parents about this, but since they’ve never dated (they had an arranged marriage), I’m not sure how seriously I should take their advice. I thought maybe I could try here.</p>
<p>I really think its fine and more common than you think. My two older children are out of college and are each in their first relationship. They were both serious students and maybe a little socially awkward, but their doing great now. The best thing you can do is to not worry about it! It will happen. You’re still very young.</p>
<p>Totally agree with Viewer. First try to have female friends. Dating will follow For many young men I know, the first serious relationships were after college.</p>
<p>Do you have some hobby or special interest so that you can join a group of people sharing the same interest?</p>
<p>With this said, DS did not have a relationship in college. According to him, the students at his college tend to be career oriented and most are not willing to committ to a long term relationship.</p>
<p>He once semi-jokingly said a little bit alcohol would do some wonder.</p>
<p>^^He was probably not joking, there is plenty of truth to that. Tons of people do Internet initiated dating, also. I wouldn’t worry about the right time to have a girlfriend, but if you want to get started, joining clubs where people meet A LOT is a good way to start.</p>
<p>Don’t be afraid of rejection. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Get over your fear of talking to a girl by doing it. It will take a lot of practice before you find the right girl. But, then you will have practiced. Remember to later reflect upon your contacts to think about what you can do better the next time.</p>
<p>Join the club- although for me it was a boyfriend, likewise with my college friends. Son also. Some of us are not in the mainstream socially. Met H in private practice as a physician- needed to meet the right guy. Got married in our 30’s. His parents had an arranged marriage in India. Won’t be shocked if son is 30+ as well.</p>
<p>Do not worry about it. Do not go looking for a girlfriend- you’ll scare off the good ones. Best to not be afraid to be just friends and if something romantic occurs it was meant to be. It is hard when your friends have girl/boyfriends and couples get together (happened to me as medical school progressed). Do not be afraid to get together with a woman but don’t push her faster than she wants just to have a girlfriend.</p>
<p>The Big Bang Theory TV show resonates a lot with many of us because of the social awkwardness of the characters. Despite it seeming like you are the last one to begin to be romantically involved- you are not. Some of us have to be at the late starter end of the Bell curve.</p>
<p>As long as you have a job or will soon have a job then you’re on the right highway, albeit it in the slow lane. Get an apartment and live your life. When you see a girl that you lke, smile. Sooner or later one will smile back. GL</p>
<p>I didn’t have a relationship during college…and was glad. Thankful for not having to undergo the stresses/distractions of relationships which caused relatives and too many undergrads I’ve known to have declining grades and/or academic/other suspensions/expulsions. </p>
<p>After college, had no problems meeting women. Heh, I got chatted up right off the street near some elite u campuses by an MBA/other grad students who were quite pleasing to the eye. Main issue was finding ones compatible personality-wise and in other ways.</p>
<p>To be clear, I not as worried about finding a girlfriend itself. Or I am, but I think that’s something I can deal with more easily.</p>
<p>But rather, I’m kind of scared that the fact that I’ve never been involved romantically will make it harder to attract girls later on. This seems like kind of the opposite problem that girls who have lost their virginity have. But I feel like that is more socially accepted.</p>
<p>The only thing romantic “experience” will teach you is that communication is paramount to the success of relationships. So start off on the right foot when you first start dating and honestly tell your date that you’re a little nervous because you haven’t dated much. If you listen to her and are interested in what she says, i.e. if you communicate well, you’ll be far ahead of all the guys with long lists of conquests. Like others have said, you become friends first and the romance follows.</p>
<p>Most ladies do not put “how many prior relationships has he had” as a factor in evaluating a potential mate, except in the context of whether he is a player or not (which I assume is not an issue for you).</p>
<p>Whether the fact you have not been in a prior relationship is a factor really depends upon your reasons. Have you just not found the right lady? That is ok, to an extent (you are not too picky). Or, you are horrible with relationships? This could be a problem.</p>
<p>Develop friendships with ladies. If you are ok with those, then romance can happen when the right lady comes along.</p>
<p>The fact that you haven’t been in relationships might raise flags but can be quickly overcome if the reasons are not that you’re just terribly inappropriate, mean, or smell bad </p>
<p>I do think it’s unusual to be in your situation but definitely not weird. Don’t worry too much.</p>
<p>Side note, I really don’t think a woman’s lack of virginity is a hindrance to any but the most extreme conservative and religious of our generation.</p>
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