Academic Dismissal appeal letter feedback

Parents Forum
1

Dear Academic Standing Committee,
Good Afternoon! My name is XXXXXX. I am currently a transfer junior at New Paltz pursuing a degree in Electrical Engineering. Today I received your letter about placing me on Academic Dismissal. This letter was shocking and disappointing as I never thought that I’d come to this circumstance. Please allow me to give the Committee a reason as to why I should not be dismissed from SUNY New Paltz.
When I transferred to New Paltz, I was terrified because it was the first time that I had been away from my family. When I saw my final grades I was shocked and distraught because I knew I didn’t try my best during this semester. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I wasn’t able to get housing on campus. But finally I found housing off campus. Towards the middle of the semester when I finally found housing, I felt that a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was culture shocked at my arrival to New Paltz and it was very hard for me because I’m a very introvert person. The type of person that I am made it very difficult to open up and ask for help. The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. For all my years in school, I’ve never experienced the event of being dismissed from school. My parents didn’t send me to New Paltz to slack off; they sent me to get an education so that I can live a better life. Everyone has always told me that I have the potential to do great things but I have to be honest with myself and say that I didn’t put my 100% in this semester. I am ashamed of myself and am sorry for wasting my parents’ money to send me to school. My father came here as an immigrant from Haiti with little help from people. He had struggles throughout college but was able to get a Bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering. Now as an adult, he is able to provide for his family and send me off to college. It’s all parents’ dream, especially immigrant parents, to send their children off to college with the support and aid that they didn’t have during the parent’s time.
I am using my grades from the Fall 2014 term as a memento: to never slack and to remember that school comes first. What I have to remember is that school maybe hard at times, but it is all worth it at the end. My time will be devoted to the Spring 2015 semester. I think that my major problems were that I didn’t ask for help when I needed it or that I did the homework later on when I haven’t retained enough of the material. My plans of academic improvement will consist of: asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, and reading). By reading after a lecture, I’ll be able to comprehend the material better. The textbook may provide me with a better way of learning the material than how the professor is teaching it. I need to redevelop my good academic habits.
Thank you for your time. Please give my appeal letter into great consideration. It’s very clear to me what I have to improve. Again, I want to tell you that I had time to look over what I did wrong. New Paltz was my first choice for college, and it would be wonderful to graduate with a degree. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I will finish New Paltz with excellent grades.

                                                                     Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                XXXXXXX
2

A learning experience. “The type of person that I am”- is no excuse. Also, introverts do just fine and excel in college. The school saw how you did not succeed. Your family is irrelevant. Learn from your mistakes. They likely did you a favor by not accepting your tuition money for another semester. Your wordy letter gives no good reasons why you should be allowed to continue. Many others in dire straits manage to overcome equally difficult problems. Part of being an adult is managing situations. You already had college experience and knew you were going away. Etc.

btw- your life is not over. Your college experience is interrupted, perhaps in a few years you will have mature4d enough to successfully complete a degree.

3

Thank you for your critique.

4

This letter was shocking and disappointing as I never thought that I’d come to this circumstance
For all my years in school, I’ve never experienced the event of being dismissed from school

YOu mention that basically that you are not a person who gets dismissed. This is irrelevant to the committee.

You were a transfer…what kind of grades did you get before? Where did you go before? Did you not read and do homework before?

How far did you have to commute? Did you know you couldn’t get housing before you went?

You should look at the rules for transfers…normally students get academic probation before dismissal.
What were your grades?

Did you monitor your grades through the semester? What were they?
If bad, why didn’t you go to the professor?

5

The letter is too long.

Make it several,SHORT paragraphs. You want to mention what you will do to improve your school performance. Shorten this up, and get to the point.

6

Yes, much shorter. Not sure why you were shocked that poor performance would lead to dismissal. The stuff about your parents not sending you to school to slack off is something you can discuss with your parents but the committee won’t think it is relevant. Just say something like, I felt terrible to get a letter indicating that I was being dismissed from the university. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory (here you could mention the housing issue and the maybe that you were uncomfortable as a new student to ask for help, but little else really needs to be said), and then list your detailed plan for doing much better in the future. Add “attending every class” to your list of steps you will take. Good luck!

7

I took all your options into consideration. I made revisions and I think my letter is good. But is it too short? Here it is:

Dear Academic Standing Committee,
Good Afternoon! My name is XXXX. I am currently a transfer junior at New Paltz pursuing a degree in Electrical Engineering. Today I received your letter about placing me on Academic Dismissal. Please allow me to give the Committee a reason as to why I should not be dismissed from SUNY New Paltz.

        When I transferred to New Paltz, I felt nervous and timid because it was the first time that I had been away from my family. I had previously attended Rockland Community College. Before transferring, my grades were good and I kept a good GPA. When I saw my final grades I was shocked and distraught because I knew I didn't try my best during this semester. As a new student, I was very nervous and afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want people to think that I’m dumb.  I felt terrible to get a letter indicating that I was being dismissed from the university. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I didn’t live in New Paltz. Finding transportation was often difficult and later on became expensive. But finally I found housing off campus. Towards the middle of the semester when I finally found housing, I felt that a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was culture shocked at my arrival to New Paltz and it was very hard for me because I'm a shy person. The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. 

         I kept track of my grades on Blackboard and strategized what grades I needed in order to pass. I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own. But I realized that in order to succeed in life I would need some help in anyway. I came to New Paltz because I heard about how well the Engineering Program is. I want to pursue an occupation dealing with robotics, and New Paltz offered that. My dream has always been to be an inventor and build robots. 

        I am using my grades from the Fall 2014 term as a memento: to never slack and to remember that school comes first. What I have to remember is that school maybe hard at times, but it is all worth it at the end. My time will be devoted to the Spring 2015 semester. I think that my major problems were that I didn't ask for help when I needed it or that I did the homework later on when I haven't retained enough of the material. My plans of academic improvement will consist of: asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, and reading). By reading after a lecture, I'll be able to comprehend the material better. The textbook may provide me with a better way of learning the material than how the professor is teaching it. I need to redevelop my good academic habits. 

       Thank you for your time. Please give my appeal letter into great consideration. It's very clear to me what I have to improve. Again, I want to tell you that I had time to look over what I did wrong. New Paltz was my first choice for college because of the academic reputation especially the Engineering department. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I’m hoping to finish my degree at New Paltz.

                                                                     Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                XXXXXX
8

Still way too long. Try something like this

Dear Academic Standing Committee,

Please reconsider dismissing me from SUNY New Paltz.

I had previously attended Rockland Community College where I kept a good GPA. When I saw my final grades at SUNY New Paltz, was shocked and distraught because I knew I didn’t try my best during this semester. As a new student, I was very nervous and afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want people to think that I’m dumb. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I didn’t live in New Paltz. When I finally found housing, I was culture shocked and it was very hard for me because I’m a shy person.

The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own.

My plans for academic improvement will consist of: asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, and reading).

It’s very clear to me what I have to improve. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I’m hoping to finish my degree at New Paltz.

Thank you for your time

Sincerely,
XXXXXX

9

^ Yes, use this one above or one very similar. Good luck!

10

I’d like to thank everyone who critiqued my letter. I pray to God that New Paltz keeps me

11

Agree. Make it shorter. Clean up typos and grammatical errors. Talk about what you learned and will do. Explanations are ok. Excuses are not.

12

Okay here are my new revisions:

Dear Academic Standing Committee,

Today I received your letter about placing me on Academic Dismissal. Please reconsider dismissing me from SUNY New Paltz.

I had previously attended Rockland Community College where I kept a good GPA. When I saw my final grades at SUNY New Paltz, was shocked and distraught because I knew I didn’t try my best during this semester. As a new student, I was very nervous and afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want people to think that I’m dumb. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. I felt terrible to get a letter indicating that I was being dismissed from the university. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I didn’t live in New Paltz.Finding transportation was often difficult and soon became expensive. When I finally found housing, I was culture shocked and it was very hard for me because I’m a shy person.

The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own.

My plans for academic improvement will consist of: attending every class, asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, and reading).

It’s very clear to me what I have to improve. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I’m hoping to finish my degree at New Paltz.

Thank you for your time

Sincerely,
XXXXXX

13

What was your Rockland GPA? Maybe if it was 3.3 or higher, include it in the letter?

14

I don’t like this sentence: "When I saw my final grades I was shocked and distraught because I knew I didn’t try my best during this semester. "

If you knew you didn’t try your best, why were you shocked?

“I was culture shocked at my arrival to New Paltz”
What culture-shocked you? what was the issue? How did that effect you?

“I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own.”
Did you read the syllabus? DId not they say they had office hours?

15

Okay i made new revisions:

Dear Academic Standing Committee,

Today I received your letter about placing me on Academic Dismissal. Please reconsider dismissing me from SUNY New Paltz.

I had previously attended Rockland Community College where I kept a good GPA. When I saw my final grades at SUNY New Paltz, I wasn’t shocked but was distraught because I knew I didn’t try my best during this semester. As a new student, I was very nervous and afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want people to think that I’m dumb. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. I felt terrible to get a letter indicating that I was being dismissed from the university. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I didn’t live in New Paltz. Finding transportation was often difficult and soon became expensive. When I finally found housing, I was culture shocked and it was very hard for me because I’m a shy person. The environment in New Paltz was very different than where I’m from. Everything was close knit and looked safe. New Paltz was very welcoming and laid back. It was a very musically and artistic town, with friendly people. The town, from where I’m from, had none of what New Paltz offered. The environment wasn’t always safe and it was sometimes dangerous to walk around by yourself. A majority of people weren’t all friendly. As I came to New Paltz, I had found a deeper appreciation for my new home.

The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own. I knew they had office hours but I didn’t know how to manage my time better.

My plans for academic improvement will consist of: attending every class, asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, reading, and extra help).

It’s very clear to me what I have to improve. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I’m hoping to finish my degree at New Paltz.

Thank you for your time

Sincerely,
XXXXXX

16

…a very musically town…

Proofread

17

I proofread my letter and here it is:

Dear Academic Standing Committee,

Today I received your letter about placing me on Academic Dismissal. Please reconsider dismissing me from SUNY New Paltz.

I had previously attended Rockland Community College where I kept a good GPA. When I saw my final grades at SUNY New Paltz, I wasn’t shocked but was distraught because I knew I this wasn’t my best semester. As a new student, I was very nervous and afraid to ask questions because I didn’t want people to think that I’m dumb. I realize that my academic performance was not satisfactory. I felt terrible to get a letter indicating that I was being dismissed from the university. At the beginning, I was juggling commuting because I didn’t live in New Paltz. Finding transportation was often difficult and soon became expensive. When I finally found housing, I was culture shocked and it was very hard for me because I’m a shy person. The environment in New Paltz was very different than from where I’m from. Everything was close knit and looked safe. New Paltz was very welcoming and laid back. It was a very diverse town with a musical and artistic feeling, and had friendly people. The town, from where I’m from, had none of what New Paltz offered. The environment wasn’t always safe and you couldn’t walk around by yourself. A majority of people weren’t all friendly. As I came to New Paltz, I had found a deep appreciation for my new home.

The struggles of housing, commuting, and being on my own put a strain on my grades. I didn’t always go to the teachers because I thought that since I’m in college I had to deal with problems on my own. I knew they had office hours but I didn’t know how to manage my time better.

My plans for academic improvement will consist of: attending every class, asking the teacher for help before, during and after class, going to the Tutoring Center, revising my notes after class, doing my homework as soon as its assigned and no later, visiting the library frequently, studying in groups, reading my textbook after a lecture, time management (for studying, homework, reading, and extra help).

It’s very clear to me what I have to improve. I can honestly say that there will be major changes in my routines and I’m hoping to finish my degree at New Paltz.

Thank you for your time

Sincerely,
XXXXXX

18

What do you think of it now?

19

Change this sentence: “When I saw my final grades at SUNY New Paltz, I wasn’t shocked but was distraught because I knew I this wasn’t my best semester” to “When I saw my final grades, I was distraught.” and delete: “I knew they had office hours but I didn’t know how to manage my time better”

20

deleted