@BenniesMom1 I am feeling for your stress and your situation. Keep pushing through. You sound like an amazing, keepin’ it real, mom! Navigating these financial negotiations is seriously causing me anxiety…anyone else feeling like they need to soak in a tub of wine? My hair… turning grey in PA.
@SongStress2024 and now the salons are all closed! ? Box color, here I come! ?
@mom2clarinetobsessedkid So, funny! Thanks for that…We have to find the humor and laughter in our days!!
@mom2clarinetobsessedkid - this is my concern too…my hair. Salons have been closed for almost two weeks here…I have short hair!! I spent last weekend contemplating combs or a hair band? Based on hours and hours of work during high school, I suspect combs are still best…but do they even sell them anymore?!? Our dog is looking pretty shaggy too…
As for negotiations, I think increasing your knowledge and doing the best with your personality is the way forward. You SHOULD ask. How to ask, how many to ask etc is up to you. We only negotiated with one…as my D knew where she wanted to go and we did the negotations with them. It didn’t make sense to us to get others involved…we had no interest honestly…but others may want to throw a larger net.
DO realize some schools negotiate more than others. Some can afford to say NO. Or offer a couple of thousand more at most. So don’t think you are doing something wrong when you hear great success from some…and your situation feels “less than”.
Remember you will hear more about the BIG offers than the more common ones. And interpretations of BIG can be different. For me, BIG was an offer that brought a school down to in-state. If my D got $20K at a $70K school…the only thing that felt big there was their tuition! But that’s my “sour” opinion.
So good luck…but do remember…everyone’s mileage will differ…despite the talent of your kid. Don’t doubt that the great relief and pride of getting an acceptance can go down the drain quickly when the scholarship is lower “than everyone elses”. A good time to focus internally on YOUR educational goals and expectations as a family … and let the rest go a bit. Everyone with an acceptance is talented. Scholarships may reflect need as well…so be aware of that.
@bridgenail yes! To all of this except the hair. I let mine go gray last year and that’s one less thing to worry about right now 
Like you, we felt that “BIG was an offer that brought a school down to in-state.” Everything else fell off the table for us. It was hard to ignore, say, other people’s big-dollar scholarships to Berklee when our kid got zero. But in the end, he had amazing choices and we realized – to quote Cervantes (among others) – “Comparisons are odious.” Or as Shakespeare put it, “odorous.”
So hold your nose and forge ahead! You are almost there!
My D got a big fat $0 at MSM for grad school. Why even make the offer? They could have just rejected her instead of getting her all excited just to pull the rug out from under her feet at the last moment. Jeez…
So you will all be in good company if you get no or a disappointing scholarship. I know a lot of talent that got rejections, zero scholarship offers or peanuts. It happens to the best of us.
I plan to contact one or two other schools to ask some questions- mainly to gauge whether or not it’s even feasible for another school to meet the offer from BU. Since BU offered my D a package that brings her cost of attendance down to 50% of a state school, it seems wildly unlikely. The waitlist game is the hardest for me to gauge because of the timelines involved. But since there are one or two other places we can see her attending, of course I will make the calls and ask the questions. It certainly can’t hurt.
The main factor with the constant negotiations for me is the time involved. Having worked in education at one time myself, I’m extremely hesitant to waste anyone’s time who might work on a package for my D when she wouldn’t even attend. I’ve been in situations where I worked tirelessly on something that turned out to be of little consequence, and even though I was a salaried employee, I couldn’t help but feel that I could have used my time more productively. The people I do choose to talk to will know that we are serious.
My D and I have a pretty philosophical outlook at this point and believe that the outcome she receives is the course she should take. Family and friends question me about sending her across the country, but maybe she is supposed to be there to meet certain people and be in that city. Sure, she could go to school here in state (for twice the $$ but close to home) but I would be denying her some opportunities to branch out and make connections. As a future opera singer, she will need this. I went to school in NYC and felt that the city itself was a factor in my overall education. If my D at one point will be performing in large metro areas in the US and abroad, she needs this city experience in navigating her way and making good choices. My oldest stayed close to home because that’s what she needed. But all kids are different. I sent my D to Tanglewood last summer as a trial run for being across the country. My kids always accuse me of clairvoyance, and maybe that was another example. I knew my girl would have to leave us and fly 3000 miles away; it was a trial for her as well as for us.
Thank you @akapiratequeen for that article- it’s very helpful! Wishing everyone the best luck on the financial front lines. We’re in overtime now, but the game is nearly finished
In reply to NEC scholarships. My kid got 22000 in all for NEC, but they listed additiona 20000 (parent loan), which I don’t consider a scholarship. NEC ranked last on our list of schools when it comes to scholarships. UCLA is first. Still waiting for USC decision and SFCM financial aid letter.
@akapiratequeen - That article was SO helpful! Thank you for posting it. I sent an appeal letter yesterday, and I feel better that I did it correctly.
Love it when they include loans in there. I know this is normal practice, but it still annoys me…
Okay, after conferring with several parents I think we are going to try a new thread called Music Merit Awards: Class of 2024. We will list schools alphabetically and include a) total “rack rate” – tuition, room, board etc. as noted on the school’s website; b) any publicly available information about their range of awards; and c) any anecdotal information that CC members want to share about awards they received. All information will be anonymous; PM me and I will post it under the school heading.
My son was same as BenniesMom1’s son, we talked about “the smallest COA for all undergrad 4 years” way before his 11th grade. But my son didn’t want to negotiate with schools about awards, it wasn’t his kind of game (I wish he would have learned it), but he took a chance, waited for all offers in hand then took all “initial offers” very, very seriously. Those “initial offers” (and live auditions) were good indicator for him to decide where he wants to grow up as a musician and citizen for 4 years.
And I agree with Akapiratequeen. One musician receives many good / nice / great offers but they can only choose one school to attend. There are many young musicians who really want to major music at college and many of them need more assistances than initial offers. Most of those musicians go through with some disappointments and discouragements then some even give up…It would be nice to give them a chance by just simply declining schools early if no intention to attend.
Some schools compete each other if they are in the same tier. It usually isn’t like private school tuition to match with in-state school tuition. After my son officially declined schools in mid-April, he was given more scholarship opportunities by schools because they knew which school (their competitor) he decided on. He didn’t like the approach so he declined again (a teenager). But I know a very talented musician who received small / good-but-not-enough initial offers so almost decided on community college, ended up receiving a full-tuition scholarship offer from a school on May 1st at 8PM and another very talented musician who received a near-full-tuition scholarship offer way after May 1st. Those schools are top music schools!
Music schools are working on their own puzzle with right pieces until very, very end.
Bridgenail—-
Yup, MSM does those zero-offers…often…
Okay take a look! http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/2179419-music-merit-awards-class-of-2024.html#latest
Violin performance UG
Bard, March 16, accepted
Boston University, March 21, accepted
Both sent emails advising to check the portal.
BU had emailed the previous week that they would post on the 21st.
Still waiting for three more…
I’m too new to pm, but learned a lot reading here. Thanks to all.
@coloraturagirl, my older D received the same kind of priority waiting list letter from CMU on 3/23/2012. She went onto the list straight away, and on 3/30/2012 she received a financial aid letter that included a school grant (“Carnegie Mellon Undergraduate Grant”) of approx. $20k. The total cost back then was about $60k. So we had to cover $40k even though our EFC (with her brother in college too) was only $14k. She was accepted off of the priority waiting list on approx. 5/7/2012. She cancelled her enrollment at Michigan State which was only $3k cheaper than CMU for us PA residents, and she enrolled at CMU where she completed her BFA in Vocal Performance a with a Music Ed certificate in 2016. The grant was similar each year until her brother wasn’t in school. Then the grant dropped from $20k to $13k.
D waitlisted at Vandy.
^ Blair School of Music that is. D is very disappointed bc they really praised her vocal audition and praised her during her interview, and head of opera program same praise during her voice lesson. On another “note,” I am sure we would not have gotten much $$$ and that school does not participate in the Tuition Exchange program. So, all things happen for a reason. We just have to make a decision by May 1 at the schools she did receive the Tuition Exchange Scholarship from. Any idea what the latest date is to know is you are off a waitlist and accepted?
@IronCitEE thank you for that info- I guess it’s worth the conversation with them. Once my older is out of school, D has another younger one going in so nothing should change. But still I doubt we would pay so much when the BU offer is so good. UCLA might be able to closely match it if she gets off the waitlist. We shall see, but in the meantime I do appreciate the insight
Straight rejection for my D from Blair 
This was her only rejection out of 8 schools, so while disappoint because it was tied for #1 on her list, tomorrow is a new day and she still has good options. The journey continues