Ok everyone, first, I’m putting all this personal info here in internet land to hopefully help others just starting out. I just talk to a very nice financial aid officer at SMU. The picture you see is ONLY there merit based award. They are still working on fafsa stuff. Told them our story and apparently we were just a number before that. I think they get it now. We should receive an offer with the fafsa stuff and awards from SMU themselves over the next few weeks. The distinguished scholar award they have was the 2nd highest. 30k is the highest. They’re is one presidential (or something) that is i think a full ride i believe given to one or very few students. She also said once he is at smu he can get more scholarships they offer to freshmen once there. So, at least for smu there’s hope as of right now. Yes, it is one he would most definitely go to but it’s probably a top 8 out of 28 apps for various good thought out reasons.
That would be great if SMU gave more merit. What you are waiting on is need based financial aid, which they will use the CSS Profile for. (FAFSA is used to determine what federal financial aid one qualifies for, and how much.)
SMU does not meet full need for all students, so I would not be too optimistic that they will get close to an affordable price for you. You can run their NPC if you are curious, but at this point might as well wait for the offer.
Would UCB be in your neighborhood (commuting range)? If not, going there could still be “going away”.
Different parts of California could be significantly different from each other.
Even if it’s five minutes from your home…if the student lives ON campus, they are going away to college. There isn’t (and probably shouldn’t be) an obligation for the student to come home often, or have parent visit more frequently than if they were 1000 miles away. But the nice thing is…if needed, they are close for parent support.
Yes, even though we live in Berkeley and my son attends Cal, he lives near campus just like other students. I don’t feel that our proximity has impeded his growth as an independent young adult at all… and the cost savings has meant that he’s been able to travel to Europe and Japan on his breaks, so it’s not as though he’s had to stay close to home all the time!
Adding that we had a similar experience. After looking at many schools it turned out that the best fit/best academics/best priced acceptance was 20 minutes from our home. H and I actually sat down at a table with S to discuss. We (parents) promised to never pop by campus and to not expect him home other than school holidays. S promised to not use being close to home as a crutch (no showing up with dirty laundry etc.). We all basically held to the bargain (except for some agreed upon exceptions). S had a rich and full college experience. I would not discount a school because it is not far from home.
Commute? To college? No, I’m in LA area, Berkeley is 400 miles away. Don’t want him home anyway! He will come home during breaks of course. Also it’s pretty much mandatory for these freshmen to stay in dorms their first year. Some 2, 3 and 4 years but most kids move out to apartments.
Then he’s out of state. I mean, So Cal, No Cal….might as well be NY and……Florida.
600 miles? Can you get him to articulate exactly what the concern is?
I grew up in Massachusetts. I just checked- a college 600 miles from the house I grew up in would have me bypass Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, DC, Virginia and get me past the North Carolina border. Nobody would think that going to college in North Carolina was “too close to home”! Or that any of these other places were too close!
oh sorry, it’s 400 miles from where i am in LA to Berkeley. Doesn’t make a difference though. If it were Stanford which is about the same 400 miles away HE WOULD BE THERE in a second! I’ve said he would go to usc or ucla too so it isn’t necessarily the distance. Berkeley isn’t his first choice or top 5.
One of my kids went to CA for college from the east coast. The other went to a college about 200 miles away from where we live.
Frankly, we saw the kid who went across country more than we saw the closer kid during college.
400 miles seems like a healthy distance from home…Cal and Stanford aren’t very far from each other. If Stanford is OK, I can’t understand why Cal wouldn’t be.
I guess I don’t understand why…when Cal ticks off the boxes you posted above…but whatever.
Hope he gets accepted to one of his top five choices with sufficient aid to attend.
Just talked to financial aid at UVA. She was great. Very understanding. What I’m gathering from these one on one conversations with these colleges is my son is a number until he isn’t. After taking to them now he isn’t a number. They agreed there must be a mistake and are looking into the css part. I think I posted it here but uva offered 9000 a semester lol.. That’s very nice but even they are saying it should be a much BIGGER amount than that without actually telling me a number. They will get back to me in a few days. Yes, that is a college in his top 10.
Is it above number 5?
Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a “top five” or top whatever once finances come into play. All those top lists, ruminations, etc. are the HS equivalent of the four year old who wants to be a cowboy or the 6 year old who is going to dance with the Bolshoi when she grows up.
It’s fantastic that you are doing all the legwork to clarify the financial aid awards and make sure your kid has all the information at hand before making a decision. But please don’t enable the magical thinking that HS kids get- college A is better than college B is greatly superior to college C.
Even the tippy top college on the “magic list” will have dud professors and a day where the salad bar looks soggy and a dorm room which is gloomy even on a sunny day and bad roommates and boring parties. So grinding away that the most affordable option (at least for now) is not even in your kid’s top three choices- not particularly helpful. He’s been admitted to a world class institution at a price tag you can afford- that automatically moves it into the top three. Which is where it needs to stay until he gets a better offer.
I have seen this scenario play out. Come August, the kid trudges off to dreaded “Not my top pick” college like it’s a four year sentence at a federal penitentiary. The dorm smells like pine disinfectant. The roommate has weird friends who like playing Baroque music with original instruments. The advisor gave the kid the wrong drop/add date. Etc.
We can all make LONG lists of all the things wrong with our kids colleges. That’s not productive, helpful, or conducive to a rigorous and stimulating academic experience.
Keep clarifying so you make sure you have accurate numbers. And then it’s time to pivot. Pivot to the fantastic, affordable option (whichever ones those happen to be) and let go the fantasy that somewhere is a college (even Stanford! Beloved Stanford!) where nothing ever goes wrong and there will never be a bad day or a C on a quiz that you thought you aced or a professor who mumbles through a lecture.
Just a note that it will be important to understand if any major changes are made to aid that you can expect they will carry forward to his four years at the school.
Thank you. I needed this today.
Wow, you got all that from my comments? Maybe read them all. The thing is I mostly agree with you but this isn’t a debate we are here to help one and other. My kid, as I said many times on this thread will be happy and feel blessed no matter where he ends up even if it’s his #23.
Nobody thinks Cal is a less than stellar outcome. 
OPs son is very happy but is still hoping for other colleges on the East Coast, which would likely be cheaper than even Cal for a -1500 SAI family. 
Their only mistake was in not knowing - like many families- that many universities do not meet need, especially for high need applicants, and that OOS public universities do not fund the OOS applicants they admit (also, California’s extensive FA system for instate applicants at many income levels is pretty unique but must feel “normal”, so that it’s hard to imagine how some other states function with OOS or instate applicants.)
Let’s all keep this in mind please. Several posts deleted and TBH, I could delete several more. But let’s dial it back and remain civil from this post forward