<p>My DS initiated the private school process Aug 2010. He applied to 2 schools, WL at one, accepted at the other. The second school put us on wait list for FA. We are seeing some movement to getting a FA offer but now DS claims he no longer wants to go to a private school. He’s afraid of the smaller setting and is worried about the financial burden.(he’s expressed this concern right along) Now what? the LPS is OK, but more of a mediocre path. Many of his friends will go LPS.</p>
<p>Well, this is one situation where being the parent gives you some prerogatives. First of all, the finances are your worry, not his. Second, you can also make the decision that he should be in the better school setting. Now, before everyone on this board jumps on me, I’m not saying to force him to go to private school if he really doesn’t want to . . . but if you can take some of the burden off of him by letting him know it’s your decision, and not just his, that would be a good thing.</p>
<p>You should also try to make him understand that it’s normal to have cold feet - especially where he’s going one direction next year and his friends are going another.</p>
<p>See if you can hook him up with faculty and/or students in his areas of interest, so he can start to picture himself in the new setting. But, in the end, if he’s decided he really doesn’t want to go, then so be it. Good luck . . .</p>
<p>We were in the same boat - with my D initiating the process, coordinating the travel to her interviews, setting up her own appointments. </p>
<p>But when the reality of going hit, she was concerned about leaving her friends at the LPS and the significant financial outlay tuition would be on the family given that we have one in college. </p>
<p>That evaporated when she arrived on campus and was whisked away returning students who helped her get settled, showed her where all her classes were, her mailbox, then introduced her to her teachers at the reception. She stays in touch with her friends back home through texting and Facebook. Still, she agonizes every time we put money in her school account that she’s breaking the bank.</p>
<p>I’m with @Dodgersmom. I tell her that the cost is our issue to deal with and her job is to enjoy the adventure. And she has. She now confesses that her initial jitters were as much about fear of unknown as anything.</p>
<p>Why not do this? - Suggest your son try one year. If he’s not happy after a year, he can withdraw and come home. (although I would hold the latter close to your vest so he doesn’t self-sabotage - the first weeks of boarding school are a tough transition even for kids coming from a great school).</p>
<p>Everyone - even the most confident students - second guesses themselves as the reality hits. Perhaps that is true for your son as well. It’s common, and it’s normal. </p>
<p>You spend so much time agonizing over applications, tests and essays there’s no time to process what happens once you actually have to go. It usually takes the rest of the summer to get mentally prepared for the leap.</p>
<p>I suspect he’ll like the school once he enrolls. But not everyone adjusts and only you know your son. If he’s not ready - don’t force it. But I suspect, once on campus, he’ll like it.</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback. It’s right in line with what we’ve been telling him. The ‘discussions’ have caused a huge rife between DS and DH which I see only as the beginnings of the teenage years ;-)</p>
<p>I assume your son is in 8th grade. At this point, the necessary FA may not come through, in which case the issue is settled.</p>
<p>As his home school system prepares students to transition from middle school to high school, your son has learned more about the high school. He may have grown to appreciate its strengths. A strong student can shine in an average school. If many of his friends will matriculate at the LPHS, he will have a circle of friends at that school. </p>
<p>If he had received an acceptance and FA from the start, he might have been very excited. When life handed him lemons, though, it sounds as if he started to make lemonade. This is a sign of maturity. Congratulations! Many really successful people claimed setbacks made them more resilient. Would attending the private school restrict his college choices, due to financial strains? It is a sign of maturity for him to show concern about long-range financial planning. </p>
<p>Finally, if he is concerned about the size of the private school, I think you should listen to him. It could be that a larger high school would be a better setting for him.</p>