Ack! Please help...

Parent Cafe
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<p>I’ve been trying my hardest to stay away from the forums, but alas, it is my only refuge where I feel happy in expressing my thoughts! (sorry, this is going to be a tome!)</p>

<p>Well, I’m in a quandary right now, trying to figure out what my purpose exactly is on Earth. I know that most people never figure out exactly what they were put onto Earth to complete, but I wish to at least hone in on a career path that will leave me fulfilled. </p>

<p>A little background…</p>

<p>I have around 4 years of teaching experience at the undergraduate level with in varying capacities. As an undergraduate I merely gave a lecture once a month and helped out students with questions. This, combined with a few other experiences helped lead me towards wanting to educate students at the college level. </p>

<p>During my MS education, I was responsible for creating my own syllabus, labs, policies, and grading for 3 sections each semester. I was known as a tough grader, but lovable teacher with a few bad evaluations here and there. Overall any students who wrote comments about me were of the fashion of “_______ is the greatest! Don’t change a thing!”. I wish I had more time to put into creating my labs, but I was limited by budget constraints and time constraints (I was a graduate student after all!).</p>

<p>Fast forward to today, first year of my PhD, working towards that goal of becoming a professor working under one of the top scientists in his specialty. I’m required to teach for my first year (among many, many other obligations) and am unsure of my funding for next year (hopefully finally an RA, but no guarantees).</p>

<p>My first semester assignment was to teach the intro level labs that are connected directly to the intro level class (I had only taught them as stand alone classes in the past). I recently found out I received horrible reviews and received a letter from the director of graduate studies (who happens to be who I am a TA for this semester) stating that I needed to become a better teacher and that students felt I was misleading them or telling them bad information (?!?) last semester.</p>

<p>I was floored! I haven’t physically seen the evaluations yet (need to schedule an appointment), but it got me thinking all weekend (and most of this week) what I possibly did wrong and what I could do to remedy this in the future (or if I’m cut out to teach at all…).</p>

<p>Much soul searching revealed a few possibilities:</p>

<p>1) I had to go from teaching 2 hour labs at other universities to a 1 hour lab here (covering the same amount of material, if not more)</p>

<p>2) I got a bad rep as the “hard grader” of the intro TAs. I’m really not sure how it got started, but my grades were within 2 percent of the other TAs (which I don’t believe to be statistically significant in a class of 300 people, correct me if I’m wrong)</p>

<p>3) I caught a bunch of students cheating in my labs (we’re talking verbatim the same lab being handed in)</p>

<p>4) Teaching the same material over 3 years in a row finally wore on me and I lost the zest I used to have to teach</p>

<p>After I spoke to a close friend (who is also not liking grad school right now) here about everything, she reminded me of what one of her professors asked her before applying to grad school. “What makes you really happy?” </p>

<p>I thought long and hard about this question and realized that teaching and learning/researching about science educational policy is what makes me happiest in life. Don’t get me wrong, I love to learn (which I think should be a common trait in educators) and I love to complete research and write, but I really don’t think I’m as happy as I could possibly be. </p>

<p>Though I got poor teaching evaluations last semester, I feel as if the reason of them weren’t completely my fault and is due to a poorly organized course. Blame does fall on me for not finding enough time to organize a 2 hour lab into a 1 hour block.</p>

<p>I feel as if my creative juices are being sucked out of me due to all of the commitments I have and many of the things I used to love to do, don’t bring me as much joy anymore. I’ve also found myself drinking more heavily these past few months. We’re not talking get myself drunk every night (that only happens very, very rarely, trust me!), but I do like to drink a few (1-2) most evenings to help clear my mind. As an undergraduate I rarely, if ever drank, even after I turned 21. I drank a little more, just socially, during my MS and now just drink to clear my mind. </p>

<p>So, to get to the brunt of my questions…</p>

<p>I’ve been seriously thinking about transferring over to the School of Education to either A) get certified to teach in earth science and chemistry education or B) apply for a MA in educational policy. </p>

<p>It’s a very difficult school to get into (14-15 each year for science education), and I think that won’t be a huge problem due to my extensive course work, good grades, and experience teaching at the college level.</p>

<p>I’m really unsure realistically what one can do with a degree in educational policy. Is it worth the money I would inevitably have to pay (with loans)? Are there realistic career paths that one with my qualifications would be eligible?</p>

<p>Also, do you think I would really have a greater chance of getting into such a tough educational program, having completed two degrees (one of them thesis-based graduate) already? Or do you think they prefer students who they can mold their minds a bit easier?</p>

<p>Or, am I just over-reacting due to poor teaching evaluations and need to cool down and get back to studying towards my PhD here?</p>

<p>Any suggestions or criticism are welcome!</p>

<p>Thanks :D</p>

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<p>Glad you came here, ophiolite. This place is a haven when we need it; and I have no doubt the great minds and hearts of the Parent Forum will help you sort this out.</p>

<p>As the first poster, my contribution will be slight, but it’s a start :).</p>

<p>First, do give yourself some time. Bad feedback, negative reviews, even the vague sense that someone we work for is unhappy … this is tough, tough, tough. It hurts, it’s scary. It may or may not be right. Whether it is or not, it takes time to figure it out and probably everyone’s reaction, when experiencing it, is an overreaction at first.</p>

<p>Second, as a teacher by avocation (volunteer teaching in certain venues, plus teacher of professional education courses- never trained or taught in academia), I know in my heart and gut that it is something I love and am good at. I tend to believe teachers are born. From what you say, it sounds like you are one. Your own love of it, the positive reviews you’ve had in the past. So don’t run headlong into derailing yourself from the train.</p>

<p>Third, you are right to take the negative feedback seriously and want to delve more into it. See what you can find out - from reading the reviews, talking to the prof,… . Even born teachers can learn from a mis-step, which may be what you have here. </p>

<p>Fourth, you have raised a red flag re drinking. I believe you that drunkenness is not a problem with you. But describing yourself as “drinking heavily the past few months” … hmmm. And 1-2 drinks per night (not necessarily an issue in itself) to “clear your head.” Since when do 1-2 drinks clear anyone’s head? Worth facing this issue head on. Whence the heavy drinking? </p>

<p>We are with you on this. Like I said, glad you came.</p>

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<p>I also tripped over the “clear my mind” rationale for drinking. I drink to fuzz my mind, not to clear it. As a scientist, (you, not me) I propose the following experiment: Don’t drink for 2 weeks. Very short time, very doable, see how clear your mind is.</p>

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<p>Ophiolite:</p>

<p>Have a talk with your supervising faculty. Lay out the issues you raised here: the need to compress 2-hour labs into one hour, and especially the cheating. It only takes a few vitriolic reviews to bring down your evaluations and to stick in the reader’s mind.</p>

<p>Give yourself time to get over the bad news and think about what you enjoy most. You seem to have already done so, but perhaps it was done under the impact of these negative reviews. How much do you enjoy research? How much to you enjoy teaching? Are you interested in education policy because you’ve encountered this problem (how does one overcome bad reviews, become a more effective teacher, and so on) or are you genuinely interested in a broad range of pedagogical issues? Would you be sorry to give up doing science research for educational research?
These are the types of questions you may want to mull over (with a clear mind!) over the next few days, perhaps even weeks.</p>

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<p>You were content with yourself and your plans before you came to Wisconsin?</p>

<p>If yes, could the problem then be with Wisconsin, or with the many commitments, rather than with your plans?</p>

<p>If yes, can you expect things to improve next year?</p>

<hr>

<p>When I was in a Ph D program, the first year was notoriously difficult psychologically. Seems to be that way for you too. I would hate to see you change careers simply as a result of that, or, even worse, because you got some bad reviews teaching. You sound like someone who loves to teach, who puts her heart into it. If there is a problem at all with your teaching, I feel sure that it can be addressed. </p>

<p>I also, especially, like the other parents, dislike hearing what you said about alcohol.</p>

<p>I am not sufficiently familiar with what your other options might be. When you said “certified”, were you suggesting that you might want consider teaching high school students? </p>

<p>For career prospects with an MA in educational policy, I would ask at the School of Education. What do people with that degree do upon graduation, and what are they doing now?</p>