Acquiring Life Skills During College

Parent Cafe
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<p>*The point is that it is fallacy that one must be able to “cook” (whatever that means) in order to have a nutritious and healthy diet. I think you were trying to argue that knowledge of cooking was required. *</p>

<p>You missed my point.
My point was that part of being an adult, is having the skills to nurture yourself and to extend hospitality to others.
I don’t consider being able to buy bags of salad & chips and dump them into bowls as worthy of an adult, you may disagree and thats fine.
We have different ideas of what being grown up means.</p>

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<p>EK,</p>

<p>You are right, and I am still missing your point. What are the skills to “nurture yourself and to extend hospitality to others,” and how does that relate to knowing how to cook and clean in college?</p>

<p>I entertain relatively regularly, and I often serve tortilla chips “dumped” in a bowl with some salsa or guacamole on the side as an hors d’oeuvre, and I also often “dump” bagged salad in a bowl to serve with dinner. This is not “worthy” of an adult? What does that mean? Must I fry up the tortillas and tear the lettuce into pieces in order to be considered acting like an adult? Why? I truly don’t get it.</p>

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<p>Bay…sounds like you must know how to cook to be hospitable. </p>

<p>EK…my friends and family seem to enjoy the pre cooked shrimp I buy…I didn’t realize that is not “worthy of an adult”…I assume that paragraph didn’t come out as you wished.</p>

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<p>I feel being able to cook a meal from scratch is part of being an adult, as is knowing how to change your oil ( if you use a car), wash your clothes, etc.
Knowing how to take care of yourself- not just knowing how to shop.
I also feel that you should know about the plants and animals that live in your part of the world, be able to read the weather and all kinds of things that i expect others feel that they can hire out.</p>

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<p>Can you kill a quail, clean it and cook it? My son can.</p>

<p>What does “from scratch” mean?</p>

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<p>So are disabled people who can’t cook not “adults”? How about people who have to hold down two or three jobs to support their families…not adults either?</p>

<p>I also find it interesting that here we are on a college-oriented website talking about everything BUT academic goals for our college-age kids. I always thought the primary goal of college was, well, college. I’d rather my kid do well and get a good job right after graduation than spend unnecessary time shopping, cooking and cleaning only to see his grades suffer…and then to wind up moving back home. (Where of course he can finally learn to clean and cook, but that’s beside the point. :))</p>

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<p>changing oil? really?..I guess my wife is not a good adult…but she does know how to cook…lol.</p>

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<p>EK,</p>

<p>Here is some information on hunting quail in Washington state, in case you get a hankerin, and don’t want to get caught “hiring out.” [Upland</a> Bird Hunting - Quail | Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife](<a href=“http://wdfw.wa.gov/hunting/upland_birds/quail.html]Upland”>http://wdfw.wa.gov/hunting/upland_birds/quail.html)</p>

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<p>EK, some of us also believe hiring things out helps build a stronger sense of community. I love having a locally owned garage where I take my car for oil changes and repairs. I buy the best bread I have ever had every week from a local baker at the farmers’ market. I have a dog walker who comes every day when I am at work. And I pay a perennially down-on-his-luck guy to mow, shovel and do odd jobs around the house. All of these people benefit because I can’t/won’t do certain tasks myself.</p>

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<p>All great skills too. What one considers “important”, I would imagine, has much to do with what the kid will most likely be more likely to use or need. My kids have little use for public transportation, and they have flown plenty…so that’s not a huge deal to them…banking, yes; managing scholarships and school business, yes. The home-making stuff, they enjoy and are good at. I am glad they enjoy it. :)</p>

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<p>I know that was some people’s point. That wasn’t the point I got in the opening post. The point I perceived was that spending time on those things was a waste of time because the kid would have his/her whole life to learn how to do those things. Cooking various delicious meals can be fun, worthwhile, and requires some practice over time…not really a 10 minute lesson. My point was that I don’t see any reason to delay learning these things just because there is plenty of time later. And also that I understand OP’s sentiment about watching her D learn and/or practice some new domestic skills. I can see the joy in that.</p>

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<p>Cromette</p>

<p>OP seemed to be disagreeing with the idea that " you shouldn’t have to learn those things in college." Which to me means she thinks you should have to learn those things in college. I don’t think anyone is disagreeing that basic domestic skills can be useful, rather there is disagreement on whether or when they must be learned.</p>

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<p>Op here - while I have sparked a lively discussion of the merits of cleaning and cooking I don’t think that my friend meant that she did not think her kids would learn those skills. Rather she did not want them burdened by them while in college when they would have to be stuck doing them for the rest of their lives.</p>

<p>As some pointed out, the most important part of college is the actual education (that was the most important part of High school also - although some people don’t seem to get that). There are 24 hours in a day and nobody spends all of them learning what is taught in their classes. What they do with the other time in college is important - learning life skills (as I called them), developing relationships with other people, learning how to live and work with other people, learning time management, learning skills for getting and succeeding in a job, communication skills, learning how to manage money, etc. All these things hopefully make your child into an independent adult.</p>

<p>So, when somebody says lets not burden these college kids with responsibilities because they will have to have responsibilities for the rest of their lives. I say college is the time to have them tackle these responsibilities while the risk is lower then when they have to completely support themselves out in the real world.</p>

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<p>Not that Harvard is the ultimate authority on anything, but they require their students to live in the dorms all 4 years and buy the meal plan and they provide dorm crew cleaning service. Apparently that must mean something about their thoughts on integrating cooking and cleaning into college life.</p>

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<p>DS’s school also requires 4 years of dorm and meal plan. Truly it does allow him to concentrate on his very intense schoolwork. </p>

<p>It’s neat that he’s had summer apartment experience. He’s learned extra life skills (rent negotiations, additional cooking skills, and argh - driving a Uhaul truck through Boston). But he could have learned same after college too.</p>

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<p>My offspring learned to cook at an early age. Teaching them was just part of growing up, as was housecleaning and gardening. As food preparation was not a major task to them, they elected to cook for themselves at times in college, as a money saver, and to have more control over their eating schedule and health choices. Dining halls and sports practice were not always compatible, and sometimes a source of frustration. </p>

<p>Cooking, and other utilitarian tasks sometimes pass this generation by. I find it takes deliberate effort, to teach many skills, as we as a culture, farm them out. D at 24 just learned to check oil, and need to teach her to put air in tires. I have not put air in car tires in ages. Bikes she knows, cars not so much. Gross parental negligence, in my opinion, but somehow it never came up when they were around. </p>

<p>Basic cooking skills are something I see passing out of general knowledge, flummoxing some younger folk. There are longer term implications, in terms of nutrition and health, not to mention economics. </p>

<p>Personally, I’m glad mine learned these skills early, as in early elementary to 7th grade, when many have some time on their hands, and still care about involvement in family life. </p>

<p>However, other families may be learning wood working together, talking investing, planting gardens, exercising, repairing the house. The point is to pass on some utilitarian knowledge, and that can take many forms. I see too many adults handicapped by their ineptitude in practical matters.</p>

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<p>Harvard may have established the requirements for living and dining, in an age where graduates were assumed to enter the sort of social class where food preparation and cleaning were hired out, or assigned elsewhere.</p>

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<p>*
Not that Harvard is the ultimate authority on anything*</p>

<p>I agree with this.
;)</p>

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<p>I like that my kids have figured out (to varying degrees), time management, how to navigate different cities, getting around with lots of different kinds of folks, how to handle themselves when ill, finding their own jobs & housing, moving themselves from one living space to another, negotiating with room mates and for whatever else they need, now to buy and sell on the internet, and yes, how to keep themselves fed and clothed with limited income. Cooking and cleaning are a part of the list, but far from the most important of the skills they’ve acquired over the years–in our household and when they left it to go to college and beyond. I am quite proud of what they’ve accomplished to date.</p>

<p>FWIW, Notre Dame also requires it’s students to live on campus with a meal plan for all 4 years, I believe, at least that’s what relative did when she recently attended and graduated. In grad/pro school, she mainly picks up ready-to-eat stuff at Trader Joe’s and similar, not having much time for cooking or other matters. </p>

<p>My kids LOVE the robotic vacuum cleaener, as we do. It helps keep the dust down and reduces their allergies and ours. It also frees up their time for other endeavors. Some folks pay for their clothing to be washed–our kids and we haven’t gone that far!</p>

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<p>Himom, as your kids have a condition that makes standing difficult, I can understand why cooking would be exhausting.
When I first was recovering from the tkr, it was very hard to stand in front of the stove or cutting board, even now I can walk much easier than I can stand in one place.</p>