<p>It may not have been a solution, but it might have meant respite for or from mother, and another set, or a dozen sets of eyes.</p>
<p>Exactly right Shrinkrap. Adam Lanza may not have LOVED school, but he would have had more exposure to the public than he ever would have by staying home. Besides, the school is an ideal time to lean on the professionals when the family was searching for answers. </p>
<p>Ema, my son is well documented with his mental health and LD issues. That’s also why I got into teaching.</p>
<p>Living about 5 miles from the Lanzas, I can tell you the mental healthcare options are quite limited even when it is clear that the individual is a danger to themselves and others.</p>
<p>The Affordable Care Act is not perfect, but it does properly recognize the importance of care for mental health in addition to physical health. Too bad a lot of the people who oppose it are the same ones who support unfettered access to guns.</p>
<p><a href=“Understanding New Rules That Widen Mental Health Coverage - The New York Times”>Understanding New Rules That Widen Mental Health Coverage - The New York Times;
<p>Yeah, unfortunately visiting the doctor does not cure crazy. It’s much more complicated. </p>
<p>Speaking as a homeschooler who is on the spectrum herself, let me tell you about the wonders of socialization in school for spectrum people. It’s thirteen years of hell. People who are not educated about the autism spectrum have the charmingly naive belief that more exposure to people will help autistics learn the social skills they lack. But that’s not true. </p>
<p>That’s the problem-- autistic people don’t pick up social skills like neurotypicals do. So more exposure to kids in school is more exposure to abuse, rejection and isolation. No learning takes place in these encounters, at least no learning that you’d want a child to experience unless for some reason you thought the child didn’t have enough pain in their life.</p>
<p>It does not get better. Sure, the middle school direct abuse tends to turn into high school isolation, but it doesn’t turn into a world of friends, social events and dates. It turns into a world of no friends. Being a parent of an Aspie, I know numerous other spectrum kids, some homeschooled, some public schooled, some moved from homeschooling to public schools, some moved from public schools to home. The ones who went to high school may have benefited from high school-- there’s no one right choice-- but they had no friends there.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t wish my K-12 experience on anyone. Well, maybe on my grade school tormentors; they should have my grade school experience and then burn in hell. That’s why I homeschooled. There was no way I’d put a kid of mine through what I went through. </p>
<p>Adam Lanza might not have committed mass murder if he’d remained in school. Then again, maybe he’d have done it sooner.</p>
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<p>I work professionally with schools including those in the highly regarded Newtown district. While none of us can really judge the situation and we don’t truly know all the facts of what an IEP might have been in place for Adam Lanza or what options the school district might have offered around the time he was in middle school approximately 8-10 years ago, I would have to think that there were other school options and choices that might have been made, even those involving a residential facility. To me homeschooling a despondent child with social functioning issues only worsened the situation and clearly made Adam and Nancy co-dependent on one another. It seems in reading the article that psychologists were confronted but no ongoing therapy or drug therapy took place and I don’t have any sense that much of any family therapy took place or was discussed. I also wonder about the older brother’s relationship with his mother as Adam continued to descend into total isolation. I know that he stopped responding to his older brother. I cannot imagine that the mother didn’t fear for her safety as hard as that might be to comprehend. I see that she was trying to get through each day… but there is also something in the article in which both parents expressed concern about what would his life be as an adult unless he had further education. There seemed to be several sentences in the article about fights over his ability to do his homework and refusal to participate in school and utter emotional breakdowns. While none of this would have raised a red flag about the horrific events that unfolded in Sandy Hook Elementary School … I cannot imagine that they didn’t raise enough red flags to allow the situation to continue to go on as it did. I don’t know what would or could have been done but this wasn’t something that this young man was 'likely to grow out of" or turn his life around.</p>
<p>P.S. May I remind you all that the Lanzas decided to homeschool Adam on the advice of the mental health professionals you think they should have taken their son to?</p>
<p>Correction to above… as I meant to say psychologists were consulted, not confronted.</p>
<p>some excellent and sensitive posts. Cardinal the thing is when were those mental health professionals consulted, when were those recommendations made? if I recall correctly it was years before, and his behavior became increasingly concerning. I also do not believe he was only struggling with Aspergers, he may have developed schizophrenia which went undiagnosed because they did not in fact return to a mental health professional for further evaluation, recommendations and support for the family, especially Nancy. </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/autism/autism-and-schizophrenia”>http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/autism/autism-and-schizophrenia</a></p>
<p>I too think he may have developed schizophrenia, but if he did most likely it emerged after he turned 18, because that’s when it typically emerges. After age 18, Adam Lanza was entitled to see doctors alone, and his doctors would be forbidden to reveal any diagnoses to his parents without his permission. By what Peter Lanza said, his son is unlikely to have agreed to be seen by a mental health professional then, unlikely to accept the diagnosis of schizophrenia if it were offered, and unlikely to accept any treatment.</p>
<p>Even before Adam Lanza became an adult, when he was a teenager, it would have been difficult to drag him to the doctor. And he didn’t even accept his diagnosis of Aspergers (which, from what we now know, is an obvious diagnosis); how would he have reacted to co-morbid diagnoses?</p>
<p>you are completely correct and it would have been challenging to engage Adam in any care, but it appears from the article that they didn’t try. If he had some other symptoms of a physical illness I suspect they might have insisted he agree to seek care. Also even though Adam may have refused treatment or evaluation his parents could have still consulted with mental health professionals and sought support in understanding their teen or adult child’s behavior/symptoms. </p>
<p>By educating themselves they could then make educated decisions about managing their son, like restricting access to guns, etc. When assessing for risk of harm to self or others I always ask clients/families I work with about access to weapons. </p>
<p>Many parents find NAMI a very helpful resource when dealing with mental illness in a family member, much of what parents gain is emotional support and ideas on how to cope and manage. </p>
<p>I’m surprised that neither the article nor anyone on this thread has raised the issue of Adam’s parents divorce and ergo the loss of his father in the home, and his father’s subsequent remarriage. While not a popular position among many for obvious reasons, Peter (and Nancy) could have done a lot more for their son by working out their differences and staying together to help each other and Adam through his struggles. </p>
<p>Having a disabled child makes divorce a lot more likely. Many marriages don’t survive the stress of a kid with a disability.</p>
<p>While that ^ may be a statistical fact, it provides nothing that justifies the Lanza’s divorce. </p>
<p>not sure I agree that they should have stayed together, but it did strike me early on that Peter seemed to have “escaped” and Nancy was then left with the lions share of the responsibilities of their son’s care, while receiving a high level of child support. As we all know money can only do so much. It disturbed me at the time I read about it, honestly it seemed to have left Nancy in an untenable position. </p>
<p>I also think she may have refused to admit her fears and her need for help to Peter perhaps out of a need to save face, and maintain distance from him herself. From this interview it sure seemed she indirectly may have supported Adam’s refusal to see his father. It did seem as Ema posted, Nancy became enmeshed in Adam’s disturbed thinking.</p>
<p>Either that or she was frightened and helpless and hopeless and taking it one day at a time. And, yes, probably trying to pretend everything was okay. That would not be unusual, at all.</p>
<p>Yes, it disturbed me greatly, as well, that Peter seemed to have abandoned the two of them, leaving me with less sympathy for him than I might have felt had he been there for his family. Of course it is possible that Nancy ordered him out of her life, but without any inkling of such a thing happening I can’t help but hold Peter responsible for how thinks turned out. </p>
<p>Whatever Lanza’s failings as a father, I can’t hold him responsible for something no one would have had a prayer of predicting. Lots of fathers abandon their children after divorce, and that can have bad results, but nobody thinks or says that if a child is abandoned by their father they’re going to shoot up a classroom of first graders.</p>
<p>And as a matter of fact, Lanza seemed to have been involved in his children’s lives after the divorce until Adam pushed him away. Whether he should have accepted that or not, he didn’t initiate it.</p>
<p>When you are isolated and have a decreasing social circle, co-dependencies and unhealthy relationships. There are no others for perception checks. </p>