<p>I agree that good parenting, instilling good habits at an early age, can help. My S has many more issues than my H does, yet he is much better at time management and gets irked by H’s ADHD quirks.</p>
<p>S is much better than H with time management (though not perfect). I am seeing here at winter break time that the time mangement skills may only apply to when school is in session and not during vacation times. S also sees things his dad does that bother him, so he works at being better about it himself.</p>
<p>Yea, there are probably degrees of everything, but if folks function well enough to carry on a fairly “normal life,” not too many people will remark or go for some intervention that could be more hassle than it’s worth. I’m fine with the way things have worked out. I am OK with H taking up to literally YEARS deciding which range hood to buy, and all sorts of other details. H and I are a pretty good team and have always had each other’s back. I am OK with living with some level of chaos, as is H. It does make S somewhat crazed when he visits, but he deals. ;)</p>
<p>RE: #38 @mom2collegekids H definitely recognizes how much I do. He just doesn’t get how little he does. It has been in the last 5 years that I have been able to admit how little he does. </p>
<p>@rom828 I think that some have some serious denial and self-awareness issues. My non-expert opinion suggests that some have what I call a “fragile inner core” that would be completely shaken if they were to truly acknowledge certain short-comings, particularly ones that highlight that they don’t “pull their own weight” or are “takers more than givers”, or similar. </p>
<p>It can be strange because some seem to be able to acknowledge a number of short-comings (things that they don’t really value as being a strong person). For instance, the same person who could easily acknowledge not being creative, or artistic, or musical, may not be able to admit that he/she mooches off others, doesn’t do his/her fair share of work, keeps everyone waiting by being selfishly late, or is a poor employee…because those latter things are largely disliked by society at large. </p>
<p>When watching something (on TV or wherever) or listening on the radio, H will interrupt, just start talking, and not think that the person will now miss what is being aired. </p>
<p>Thankfully, this is less of an issue with the advent of DVRs (thank goodness!)…but even with DVRs, sometimes I have to pause, rewind, play, pause, rewind, play, etc…several times…because of multiple interruptions. Once I had to say, “honey, I’ve had to rewind this one part 5 times, can you just say all that you want to say at one time?”</p>
<p>My H does that and he doesn’t have ADHD that i know of. He interrupts the TV or a radio show to comment on it just as they are telling the story! Drives me crazy!</p>
<p>@mom2collegekids your non-expert opinion seems spot on. I just returned home from a movie and he asked me to tell him about it. Two phrases in, he starts finishing my sentences trying to anticipate my next words. I just stopped and stared. After he realized what he did he told me to continue please and I got another couple comments out before he interrupted again. I can see it’s impulsive. And it’s maddening. He also cannot follow a conversation. Keeps asking us to repeat and clarify. It all has gotten worse over the past 5 years. He sees a therapist and I am surprised he hasn’t noticed. </p>
<p>ADHD + Control Freak marriage = Very Hard. But they tend to happen a lot because opposites attract! Gets easier if you can not sweat any small stuff. </p>
<p>Setting up systems-- Putting all bills on automatic payment, Running through the same menu every week or two, Having only enough clothes to get through a week or two (no huge pile up), Tossing junkmail at the door, Just get rid of ALL knicknacks, Use Google calendar with everyone on it, etc., makes it easier.</p>
<p>When disorganized ADDH-ish DD was a teen, having a “key bowl” near the front door helped her a lot. No more scrambling for keys. (She does not carry a purse). I notice she has similar setup now at her apartment. </p>