<p>I have no personal experience, but here’s my take. I think if I was an adoptive parent, I’d be very hurt to find out my child undertook a search without telling me. I think it’s best to tell. If she feels she can help, great, if not, then at least there isn’t this big secret being kept that could be explosive. Additionally, I think this is the kind of undertaking that is best done with some emotional support, if possible – and who better to give support (ideally) than your mom?</p>