<p>Cartera, I said my mom was sad when my brother and his GF broke up, I think you misunderstood.
I found perfectly normal for my mom to wait until my brother’s relationship looks stable because at his age meeting parents the first day looks like they must get married, it’s not the same when you are a teenager and your beau it’s your classmate.
If I date someone I wont’ race home to show him and my mom knows that, but also she knows that if the relationship is serious, somehow she would be involved in future plans.
I’m glad things are getting better for the OP and her D; time heals almost everything.</p>
<p>I do feel it’s strange that the daughter would encourage BF to communicate with Mom and I would feel a little silly as a Mom asking what the BFs’ intentions were at this stage. After all, the young lady is only 20 years old. I’m wouldn’t be so sure at this young age that she knows what she wants. Why should a BF have to explain to Mom what his intentions are at any moment in time when we know that “kids” this age can change their minds daily about their future.</p>
<p>I am very close with my daughter – she literally tells me everything – and family is her number 1. She nor I would never think of having a BF discuss his intentions with me. When the time is ready for them to make that kind of decision, normally he would tell her and then she would discuss with Mom. Needing to have that kind of communication with Mom would be enough to scare any BF away. Oh, and my daughter is married now, but I’ve definitely been through the BF stage.</p>
<p>The relationship is definitely “different” and I’m not sure how well it will fare for your daughter with future boyfriends.</p>
<p>For your own well being as well as your daughter’s it’s probably best to stay detached. If your daughter comes to you for support that’s one thing but it’s best for everyone involved if you don’t get involved. I’d also be very careful about communicating with the ex. That could turn into a very sticky situation if you’re not careful and damage your relationship with your daughter. Just be supportive of her (it sounds like she has her priorities straight) and let her figure this one out on her own.</p>
<h1>1 never asked his intentions he voiced them.</h1>
<h1>2 Daughter is an adult at this point and has every right to make her own decisions.</h1>
<h1>3 Daugther and new boyfriend are bringing her older brother home from airport for Christmas. Kinda warming up to this guy.</h1>
<p>FYI all it is all about what we taught them before kindergarden.</p>
<p>my Ds friends now all have significant others in college,and not ONE emails the parents of their GF/BF…with intentions</p>
<p>its either very charming and old fashioned or its modern and controlling…it takes the D out of the equation, doesn’t it? He goes above his GFs head to the mom, before there is any serious life plans</p>
<p>The only time GF/BF contacted parents was about what to get for a present or to organize a suprise party</p>
<p>It will be interesting to see if this guy is controlling…he wasn’t asked, he just took the liberty of involving the mom in the Ds life</p>