<p>Are you planning to marry and have a child immediately after or before graduating from college? That way you would not have work experience which would likely make it difficult to get a good paying job. And yes, it does more often than not hurt when you take off a number of years from work. </p>
<p>I was a math major who has not worked in many, many years. However, I have had a number of job opportunities in the last several years, and see even more possibilities if I just went back to school for some specific skill courses. I would not be able to sustain close to what our current standard of living any time soon, possibly ever, but I could make a living wage, I am sure.Math majors can find a analytic jobs that are not as open to humanities/ social science majors.</p>
<p>House wife is such an offensive term. Married to a house? I was a work-at-home Mom for 20 years. I think I was pretty typical, I wanted to raise my kids myself and my chosen profession was not something I wanted to continue doing. I loved being able to take care of the kids but hated/still hate the house cleaning aspect. I like cooking but it does get old after 30 years. I loved being able to volunteer at my kids school but didn’t like not being paid for working. I’m not sure I like the phrase, “hold their kids as their highest priority”. Maybe doing our best to make sure they turn out to be joyful, good people but “highest priority” sounds a little wierd. I really wasn’t trying to mold them into anything…</p>
<p>My kids lives are their own but I hope that by being available to them, they enjoyed that time as much as I did.</p>
<p>I am attempting to return to the work force. I did have a very good job years ago, and I have worked as a sub teacher the past 5 years (on my terms). Is it hard to get back into the workforce? It has been for me. Of course, I happen to live in Michigan … so I don’t know if it would be as difficult elsewhere. </p>
<p>I don’t regret having spent the time with my kids. It was worth every penny of the more than $1 million I figure I did not make that I could have earned.</p>
<p>What is women’s liberation about if not having the power to make personal choices? (I would say that’s the best reason for men to support women’s liberation, by the way.) I think reading the above-referenced book will help you give you a framework for thinking about the practical issues brought up by other parents who have replied to you in this thread.</p>
<p>My S is a math major. His profs strongly urged him to go to grad school right after college (if that’s what he wants) instead of working for a few years then go to grad school. they said that math skills can dull if not used all the time.
If you don’t want to go to grad school, there are good jobs for math majors, mostly in the applied fields: actuarial, investment banking and the like.
If you want to stay at home for some years, you’d have to keep your skills and knowledge current.</p>
<p>A friend of mine is a stay-at-home mom, and she went to Caltech. Met her husband to be in grad school there. She worked full-time for a number of years before making the transition. I don’t think that her husband’s income, straight out of grad school, would have been enough to support the kind of lifestyle they wanted. </p>
<p>The WSJ did an article a few years ago on the difficulty that women were having re-entering the work force in fields like law and business. Your ability to re enter the workforce is going to depend on the type of work you’re doing, and the job market at the time. Some women have had an easier time with re-entry if they’ve worked part-time during their child-raising years.</p>
<p>One other thing to consider: you might change your mind about the stay-at-home thing. Some women plan to go back to work, have the first kid…and change their minds. Other women plan to stay home with their kids, have the first child…and change their minds.</p>
<p>I’m a stay-at-home mom with a teaching credential. I substitute teach 2-3 times a month to stay connected w/career. My husband and I had to tailor our financial plan for me to stop working and it has been a sacrifice. I know I will return to full-time work again someday but for now, I’m happy to be doing what I’m doing. I remember a spot on a morning news show about people complaining about women competing for spots in top schools only to marry and become SAHMs after graduating and a short stint at a job. Boy, did some people have strong opinions about that!</p>
<p>My D’s doctor only works on Wednesday because she’s raising a family. It’s been this way for 5 years.</p>
<p>Not only is it hard to make an appointment, but I have to wonder how good a doctor she’ll be at age 40 after so few hours of actually practicing medicine. </p>
<p>To me, “Dr. Wednesday” is a useless waste of a doctor who took up space and training from a medical school. I hope she’s a happy mommy somewhere in a park or playground. </p>
<p>At least this OP is honest about what she wants for her future. Nothing wrong with being a “homemaker.” I feel it’s also wise to establish a skill set, if not an uber-career, so you’re employable at some level. Perhaps your campus Career Center can counsel you to find a compromise. It doesn’t have to be an uber-career (like a doctor or PhD), but nor should you be helpless and dependent for financial support, either. Seek a compromise career focus, and much luck to you on your other search for Mr Right.</p>
<p>■■■■■? No, I don’t think so. I just scanned your previous posts. You just sound kind of lighthearted to me, in search of some focus. I also discovered some edge and technical/computer skill there, too, so don’t sell yourself short…ever! Maybe there’s a work plan with just a B.S. degree for you, or with some additional training, idk: medical technician stuff, or programming/troubleshooting. Again, if you enjoy children or the thought of them that much, perhaps you can redirect to a career that includes children (teaching, nursing) or teach Math as a schoolteacher (huge demand there).</p>
<p>^^timed out, but also see if the Toy Industry needs someone in Research and Development, or even marketing, with computer skills (try googling Fisher Price, Leapfrog, and other toy creators to see their career opportunities). A cross-over between your interests in children, math, computer science and family-friendly work IS possible.</p>
<p>I always knew I wanted a career, but I also wanted to stay home with my kids if/when I had them…
Got my degree in math (because I loved math) got a minor in computer science, and worked as a software engineer for several years. When my husband and I got married (about 5 years after college) we both knew I’d stay home when we had kids, so we made our financial decisions (house, etc.) with that in mind. When we did start having children, I stayed home. 15 years later, when our youngest was in 6th grade, I entered the teaching profession (long story) and there I am now.</p>
<p>Bottom line (if the OP is for real): prepare yourself to take care of yourself. Do that for a while. Marry for love, not money, someone who really supports a wife’s giving up a successful career to stay home with the kids.</p>
<p>My life has worked out completely the way I had hoped (I even thought I’d teach someday). Clearly I’ve used up all the Karma I built up in past lives and will probably come back as a squirrel or something next time. But I did NOT go to college for an MRS degree. Didn’t get one there either…</p>
<p>Oh and BTW, mommy-hood can be a lot of drudgery. I never regretted my decision for a moment, but I was REALLY happy that before I became a stay at home mom I had traveled, lived abroad, worked with sharp people, etc. I never asked “what did I miss”.</p>
<p>Stay at home mom. Hardest, most underpaid job EVER.</p>
<p>As a single parent since the day I got pregnant, I didn’t do it (except for the first year and that was because I was laid off when my son was 2 weeks old). </p>
<p>SAHM isn’t Donna Reed. </p>
<p>A SAHM who is truly involved in their kids lives and volunteers as schools,ets and is temp. surrogate mom to kids whose moms work, my hats go off to ALL of you.</p>
<p>fizix2, have you spent much time with children, especially babies and toddlers?</p>
<p>If you like to engage your intellect (as you are showing in your posts on this topic and religion), you may find 24/7 care of children less fulfilling than you imagine.</p>
<p>I don’t think there are many men out there who find women attractive who have one thing foremost on their minds – getting married and having children.</p>
<p>I’d say it’s more common for people to find a good match based on common interests and lifestyles, then feel comfortable enough to take the plunge into family life.</p>
<p>(I have been a SAHM for seven years, but worked full time until my children were well into elementary school.)</p>
<p>fizix2, I don’t think you’re a ■■■■■, but I do consider it a possibility that you’re funnin’ with us on this topic. In case you aren’t:</p>
<p>Being a SAHM is rather different from being a 1950s-era, Donna Reed-type housewife (which I believe existed primarily in the minds of advertisers and magazine/television writers, anyway). If you’re interested in motherhood as a career, your priorities won’t be waxy yellow build-up on the linoleum or how wrinkle-free the breadwinner’s shirts are. You won’t need five children to teach you about the huge demands of the job. If, as a SAHM, you have plenty of free time even with fewer than 5 kids, something’s not right. </p>
<p>Maintain credit in your own name. Work out how finances will be managed in advance. Many young couples can’t even make the decision to have one of them stay home with young children because of school loans, credit card debt, or a big mortgage payment. Educational debt doesn’t seem to be an issue in your case, but staying out of other kinds of debt is difficult for people just starting out. If you want to be a SAHM, be sure to live well within your means.</p>
<p>I agree with fendrock above - I can’t think of many young men who are anxious to start the responsibilities of family life while in college, or even to think much about them. It’s fine to know that you want being a SAHM to be part of your life, and to be upfront about it when you’re becoming involved in a serious relationship. I don’t think the time is right, as an undergrad, to make husband-seeking a big priority. I certainly wouldn’t recommend going to grad school primarily to find a husband.</p>
<p>I was a SAHM for many years, and loved it - it was probably the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had. But I find I’m troubled by the gender politics implicit in the first post of this thread. Husband hunting at college today just seems so … anachronistic. And I will disagree with fendrock a bit when she says that you may miss intellectual stimulation as a SAHM. I’m not Caltech material, but I’m not a dim bulb, either - and I found I needed all my IQ points if I wanted to leave the playground without inciting a meltdown when my kids were toddlers. (And I only have three!)</p>
<p>My brother is a stay at home dad. Never expected that. Not in my lifetime. But then he was late marrying and we were not expecting that he would have kids either. Things can turn out sooo differently than expected. I did not expect to be a SAHM until I was well there.</p>
<p>frazzled1, dealing with toddlers is a different type of intellectual stimulation than interacting with colleagues at work, taking a math class at CalTech, or discussing religious beliefs.</p>
<p>I’ll just add (as encouragement) that, contrary to what you might hear, it is possible in many cases to live on one salary. The costs of working (including daycare) are surprising, when you add up everything (commuting, clothes, lunches, child care, summer camps, etc.). Of course, as you noted, it’s important to have a husband who has the income (or income potential) to allow that to happen. Nothing wrong w/having objectives in what you seek in a mate—people do that all the time for a variety of other reasons.</p>
<p>I’ve been stay-at-home for most of my adult life. Random thoughts:</p>
<ol>
<li> Be prepared for your IQ to drop 20 points, at least. (No, it doesn’t really; you just get treated like it did. People assume you are at home because you can’t do anything else.)<br></li>
<li> My degree is in nursing, which has been incredibly useful as a mommy degree. It is also a nice back-up, although I’ve been out so long, I’d need major refreshers before returning. But I’ve kept my license active (in PA) in case I ever needed to be self-supporting.</li>
<li> I also work as a free-lance writer, and piano teacher. Both are things I can do at home.<br></li>
<li> I have been heavy into volunteer work - via my church, as a foster parent, and within the schools. I found it important to have some sort of life apart from mommy-on-call.</li>
<li> There WERE days when I was bored, and days when I was incredibly overloaded. Day after day when the only things beckoning me were things I don’t like to do - mainly cooking and housework - neither is my favorite way to spend time. And days when nothing on my to-do list got done. It is a lot like being self -employed - You have to be internally motivated to get things done.</li>
<li> Living on one income means (in my case, at least) living with less. Yes, I don’t need a working wardrobe. That translates into seldom having a reason to buy something nice to wear. We seldom ate out. We used cloth diapers and homemade babyfood. Our house was decorated in early Salvation Army. We live in a more wealthy area; in school, it was assumed that SAHM would be the room mothers, fieldtrip chaperones, and the ones to provide the homemade goodies. But it was also assumed that everyone could afford the same “donations” and fees.</li>
</ol>
<p>My reason for staying at home was that I did not believe anyone else was capable of raising my children as well as I could. I felt that raising intelligent, well-adjusted children required intelligent, loving, involved caregivers. I did not believe I could find a daycare that would provide these things at the same level I could. Frankly, I know many children raised in daycares who have turned out fabulously, and some raised by helicopters, who seem “damaged”. So my theory has flaws, but it was what motivated me at the time, and I have no regrets.</p>
<p>I think about my kids, and wonder if they will ever have the choices I had. I think it’s harder and harder to live on one income, especially when young adults want to start out at the level their parents currently are at.</p>
<p>Over the years, I have served on the board of directors of several non-profits and worked with our family business from home. Most of the women at home I know do some degree of community involvement and/or working from home that will give them a resume if they ever need or want to get a job outside the home. </p>
<p>I really applaud you for asking this question in a forum like this. Women should be free to chose their own paths and to be respected no matter which path they choose. I have been home for 22 years now and have had a great time and no regrets.</p>
<p>Although many men will deny it, knowing that a woman wants to be a homemaker can be an attractive quality because the man knows his children are less likely to be neglected.</p>