@maya54 Based on your concerns above, you should consider vacations where you stay in nice, high end vacation rentals - homes or sizable apartments. Choose ones where you’ll get a comfy bed (reviews). You’ll also have that extra space for reading at night, room to spread out and get a little alone time and putter. Basically, you need a place where you can feel “at home” while traveling. We are big fans of vacation rentals and usually go that route over hotels. I also enjoy slow travel mode, getting to know a place well over hoping to a new locale every night or two.
On a ship, you can get up in the middle of the night and find a cozy place to read. Ships usually have nice library rooms. You can usually find quiet places on the ship to escape to, even during the day. The last ship we were on had a beautiful lounge at the bow of the ship. It was used for dancing at night, but almost always empty during the day. I’m like you - I need my alone time.
Ditto the library room or, if you don’t want to leave your bed, try a light that clips onto the book. My daughters share a room and it works. I don’t know what accommodations you are booking, but there would most likely be a chair in your room for you to move to if you want. Ditto try to get a balcony. The sound of the waves is restorative. And you don’t have to be stuck together with glue - it’s ok if they go to the pool and you stay behind. I’m an introvert as well and crave alone time. It does work, just be kind as you say you need an hour to yourself. Frankly, they already know that and probably understand and want to give you that time.
Bring your own pillow - it makes a huge difference.
Finally, and I do this myself: take a deep breath when you feel the depression/anxiety start to wave over you and think something positive about the trip. It’s cliche and sounds patronizing but it helps. Really. Part of the problem is you’re spinning yourself deeper. btdt. Hugs.
I’m a pretty passionate homebody. Sometimes it drives my DH crazy. I can relate to a lot of the things you have mentioned. But I would be so regretful at the end of my life to look back and know that I never saw the Eiffel Tower, never tasted spiced wine at a German Christmas market, didn’t enjoy the glowing water of the Caribbean or in French Polynesia, or the sunset on a beautiful California beach, all because I wouldn’t leave my house.
I know it’s uncomfortable, and sometimes downright scary. Other times, when things go wrong, the benefit/hassle factor seems grossly out of whack. But when you travel (even just “superficial leisure travel” as I have recounted), you do grow and develop as a human being, if for no other reason, just because of the shared experiences between you and your family. We have funny family stories of the ornery taxi driver, the time D1 and I had to sprint full stride to make a flight not once, but twice in one trip, the restaurant owner who clearly had the hots for DH, the time the four of us barely made the French train (the train guys were coaching us frantically to run, run, run), etc. We have laughed til we cried about some of these stories, not all of which were fun at the time. DH will never live down the time he insisted the girls use a knife and fork for their bacon simply because we were eating in the formal dining room on our first cruise. 
I hope you can get to a peaceful place about this trip. And know that home will be waiting for you no matter what.
My suggestion is to consider which of the following might be preferable for you:
- Get heavily involved in the planning yourself; or
- Insist that somebody other than you do all the planning and just go along for the ride.
Also, don’t worry about waking up hubby with the reading light. He’s the one who wants to go on this cruise, so he can make the sacrifice.
My Kindle Paperwhite doesn’t wake up my husband. While you can’t bring your bed, maybe bring your pillow(s) would help.
I have some anxiety about travel, which has worsened as I have grown older. I like Hunt’s suggestion #2 - last time we traveled I let my adult D plan our itinerary. Our upcoming trip to Ireland I opted to book a weeklong tour to avoid all the planning for a family group. I also think you should be able to excuse yourself from some of the activities to stay in your room or on the ship if you choose. Getting off the ship and exploring a different port everyday can be taxing. I know my D ran us all over to see so many sights it was a bit exhausting.
Crises are really good for allowing different people in the group to go their separate ways,
The first time we took a cruise I was concerned that bubbly cruise directors would be trying to force people into activities. That wasn’t the case at all. Tons to do for those who are interested but you can also just find a quiet spot and read or whatever.
I agree with the balcony suggestion. Gives you a built in private spot.
Also, if you crave a less crowded time/place, you could consider staying onboard while the ship is in port. Obviously you’ll miss out on the port but IME the ship is wonderfully non-crowded when in port and that’s kind of nice. Perhaps pick one port you’d like to skip and let the family do their thing. Ir on a day you’re in port for a long time you could do a short tour or activity with the family if they insist, and then head back.
@maya54 You’d be surprised how many people feel the same way you do. I have a cousin whose reaction to travel is exactly the same as yours – she says she spends most of her vacations thinking about home, and counting down the days until she IS home. She just prefers being in her own house, amid her own stuff, sleeping in her own bed, and takings showers in her own bathroom.
That said, she knows her family enjoys travel, and joins them on a once-a-year vacation because she knows it’s a special time to bond. She tries to focus on her husband and children during the trips, having realized these are their future memories: experiences they will remember and think about for years to come.
You got some good advice upthread about ways to make yourself comfortable during the cruise. Here’s hoping they help.
If you haven’t don’t a cruise before, I suggest you get one of those ear patch things from your doctor to avoid any possibility of sea sickness. My S who is prone to motion sickness just sticks one on before he goes on the boat (I think they get replaced every few days) and he has had no problems. Best to avoid any problems/discomfort.
I have lost my enthusiasm for travel as well. I am a real homebody. I understand. Like most people, oh “travel” was at the top of my bucket list for retirement. Oops. I’m not as into it as I had thought I would be.
That said (too late to edit), I enjoy being someplace new and different and exciting, it’s not that. It’s the dang getting there that is so challenging any more. Traveling is hard work! 
One of the most freeing moments in my life was when we decided we didn’t all need to go on vacation together anymore.
It’s much easier now that both kids are older & away at college and are having adventures on their own too.
H just got back from a solo vacation. He likes to take time off right after the holidays; it works well for his job (and not so well for mine). D1 was away for study abroad during the winter session. D2 was at home, taking some online classes and spending time with her BF. I had no interest in going where he was going on vacation, not even to tag along with a good book! He was happy he was still able to go, with our blessing!
This summer, D1 and I will be going on the kind of vacation we like. The kind of vacation that would NOT appeal to H or D2, at all (they’d be miserable and bored).
We don’t have the money to do it all. But this has worked out well for us for the last several years.
Good luck with your decision.
I want to second the idea of getting a balcony on the ship. It’s usually small, but it’s private and you can grab some food or coffee (or order room service) and take it out there and relax at times when a crowded breakfast room just feels too much. Also, as others have said, some of the evening venues are very quiet places during the day.
I totally understand your position and I can offer you the solution that worked for me.
While I would LOVE the cruise you describe, I can relate to your situation because I hate our annual family vacation to my in-laws’ very upscale, very popular beach community. It’s a vacation spot that no one ever wants to hear me complain about because to other people, it seems very desirable. But I hate it. I find the whole community over-crowded, over-priced, over-wrought, over-in love with itself. I spend the whole time counting down the days til I can leave.
But it’s pretty much just me. Everyone I know thinks I’m nuts and loves the place.
So here’s what I did: I stopped thinking about the trip as a family vacation and reframed it in my mind as a family obligation. That way, I stopped being disappointed that I wasn’t having fun (on my vacation!) and instead started to feel that as an obligation, this wasn’t too awful. I mean, there are worse obligations to endure.
It seems silly, but thinking of it as an obligation rather than a vacation really helped me get into a better mindset about the whole thing.
Cruise ship balconies have lights on them too, so you can read there in the middle of the night. I’m an introvert and I love cruising. I can be as sociable or unsociable as I please. Check out boards.cruisecritic.com. They have a wealth of info and opinions on cruising.
Do you and your DH sleep in separate rooms? Us that how you keep from awakening him if you are up in the middle of the night? If so, get 2 rooms. Or he can use eyeshades and you can find a place to read as others have suggested.
“Do you and your DH sleep in separate rooms? Is that how you keep from awakening him if you are up in the middle of the night?”
No. It’s just that when our bedroom door is ajar so there is no noise when I leave the room. In a hotel (and I assume a cruise ship) the door makes a lot more noise when opened and closed. He’s very sensitive to sound and will not wear ear plugs (bummer). He also won’t wear eyeshades. He says he can’t sleep with something in his ears or on his face. He’s really a very agreeable person so I don’t push this issue.
Well, if he’s sensitive to sound, he probably doesn’t sleep that well on vacation anyway. So you shouldn’t make yourself miserable lying in bed because you don’t want to wake him.
I say that as someone who is a pretty light sleeper. I’d never expect my husband not to get up if he was awake and wanted to get up. yeah, it would probably wake me. Such is life.
Can I just say that all of the very helpful and excellent responses are a testament to the wonderful community here on CC!! Thank you all!!!