I have no desire to go on a cruise – ever. I would pick one city (like London or Paris) and rent a flat. Go do things at your own pace. My wife likes pictures and portraits. Me not so much. One of our best trips was when she went to the National Gallery, and D & I went to a matinee of Les Miz (so what if we’d seen it before!). Everybody was happy. You’ll be fine.
When I refuse to wear earplugs and an eye mask or hood that covers my eyes, I don’t feel I have the right to complain about noise or light when I sleep. My partner feels the same way. I have a tough time tolerating things in my ears or over my eyes when sleeping, but figure it’s my choice. When we stay at a noisy hotel, I have to decide which I find more irritating–things earplugs or noise and proceed accordingly.
I feel it’s unfair for me to expect H to remain still in bed if he can’t sleep and if he wants to quietly read his phone or kindle or whatever, that’s certainly his choice. He agrees that I can do the same.
@maya54, my H is you! He won’t say he hates vacations but he’s not the happiest there. Likes his own bed, his own routines, his stuff around him. He’s a picky eater too! Going out to eat is problematic, he wants to go where he an find stuff he likes to eat which he usually can. But he hates paying too much for food.
So I try, sigh! I know he doesn’t mean to be this way and he tries also but it’s a struggle. He would like to go with his family, stay at a condo and eat in. It’s not really my idea of vacation. I can stay home, clean and cook.
I don’t know how you compromise these things. I feel bad for the kids, we didn’t go very much when they were growing up. H doesn’t want us to go without him either. He doesn’t want us to spend the money.
I am also someone who needs some quiet time by myself. My kids’ dad used to take them out in the afternoons to museums and I would stay back in the hotel room by myself. After an afternoon by myself I would be up for a night out with them. When they were younger, my ex and I used to take turns to go to the pool or do an activity with them so the other person could get a break.
One fun thing we used to do was to have a meeting every night to figure out what we wanted to do next day. We would discuss and vote.
Even though we are divorced, my fondest memories were all the vacations we took together as a family. We were so busy when kids were growing up, it was only on vacation we were able to re-connect.
I like comfort of home, so I generally stay at places that are nicer than my home, otherwise it really wouldn’t be a vacation.
We tend to rent apartments when we travel… I think this sort of vacation might suit you. Especially in Europe. I like having my own room where I can decompress and relax. And every once in a while I like to take off on my own and so does my husband. I do the bookings and I always insist that we get a big enough place to accommodate our different sleep habits. An apartment in a situation like Paris, Rome, London, Berlin or Copenhagen might be perfect. They are big enough to explore for months and they all have additional opportunities for day trips one can take with a quick train ride. Pick one city, get to know it, and allow yourself time and space for your comfort. I don’t know if you would find that on a cruise. The cabins are small and the ships are jammed full of people. I’ve only been on three cruises and I could not wait for them to end.
The European river cruises are on much smaller boats than the Floating Las Vegas ships in the Bahamas.
If your family is open to ideas other than a cruise, I’d heartily second the idea of renting a flat for a couple of weeks in Paris or London or Rome instead of a cruise. I love to travel but I have no interest in going on a cruise at all. It seems like all of the “tourist” parts of travel – the stuff it sounds like you don’t like – would be magnified on a cruise.
If you rent a flat for two weeks in a single city, there will be plenty of time to putter around by yourself or just relax in your own space. You could really get to know a little neighborhood. You could get into a home like rhythm and only join major excursions to tourist attractions every couple of days, or you could avoid them altogether. If you have a lot of time in a place, you won’t feel guilty about spending an afternoon poking around a bookstore or reading a book in the park. The folks at the bakery, the cheese shop or the corner cafe will start to recognize you and it will feel like home. That’s what I’d recommend, if you could talk your family into it.
Also, if you are worried about sleep, you might want to ask your doctor if using Ambien very short term would be an option for you. And maybe a beta-blocker as a very mild anxiety aid.
What @nottelling said. It’s surprising how quickly you can become a “regular” in a neighborhood. My take is that it maybe takes two to three visits. On our last trip to London, we checked out a new restaurant in South Kensington. Loved it. Went back a few nights later, and the owner & greeter were happy to see us again. Went back the night the night before we left, and they’d been “discovered” – but they squeezed us in. I’ve recommended the place every chance I get since then. Just one of those little things that made for a great trip.
@maya54. You’re right, some people never develop a love of travel. You may find cruising not too objectionable. By our 5th cruise, we started getting a balcony. S2 has autism and it has become a great place for him to “escape”. Plus it makes the room seem bigger. There are many quiet places on the ship, especially when you’re in port and everyone gets off but you stay on. H likes that option and our kids loved having the pools and slides to themselves.
This spring S2, D1 and I are going on a cruise for 8 days. I doubt we will do any excursions as we enjoy much of what the ship has to offer. We are not that social, but we like the entertainment, the fitness center, D1 and I will get a massage, play some card games, read books, and just relax. S1 is now married, D2 is in college and this is not her break, H is teaching and can’t go (he’s looking forward to being alone for 9 days), so it’s the 3 of us for this trip.
I’m with you, maya (and everyone else who doesn’t relish traveling). Often the best part of vacation is coming home to your own bed. I traveled a lot when I was young. Now I’d rather skip the sore feet and stay home and see it on the travel channel. Plus, my kitchen has all my favorite foods, and I know where my bathroom is, it has TP, is clean, and there is no charge to use it. I’m going to D’s graduation in Europe this summer. I haven’t been there since 2000. Super anxious about it. I do like the idea of a cruise since that takes care of the food and lodging. H likes winging it–just randomly exploring/running all day long. I’m getting too old for that.
H is much more adventurous that I am. I always told him I am happy if I get a morning coffee and roll and I am ready to set out for the day. I make sure I wear comfortable shoes. I shop for one thing to bring home just for me (jewelry, purse, art work). As mentioned, it is very helpful to have the house all cleaned up and tidy when you come home.
Take your own soaps and shampoo and such. I take my own TP even.
I do like traveling as long as the accommodations are lovely.
I am a hotel snob. It is ok to stay for a night in a lower place on a road trip.
However, if I am traveling to a destination then the super wonderful accommodations are
part of my experience. I have never understood the attitude “I am just sleeping there”.
I am being there…so this is very important to me. H did not think he agreed until a
few times that we did book lower accommodations and then he complained! :))
" I have never understood the attitude “I am just sleeping there”
Lol. Me either!! I tell my husband that my attitude is “I HAVE to sleep there, it better be pretty great!!”
I am a princess traveling with a prince. Because we can afford it, we always get suites now in hotels. That way when one of us gets up they can go be in the other room reading, watching tv, on the laptop, etc. On the cruise I hope you have a balcony you can go to at night. I get the not sleeping through the night thing. And I second the notion of bringing your own pillow. You can buy that thing that vacuums it down to fit in your suitcase.
I totally agree with the mindset that this isn’t a vacation …for you. It’s an obligation you are doing because you love your family.
Buy yourself some new comfy jammies - I like soma. Bring all your toiletries from home so when you shower and get ready you have your stuff. If you make your sleeping and your personal space more comfortable I think you’ll feel better.