<p>*I asked my DH’s aunt if she expected any gifts for her grandchildren’s announcements. “Don’t you dare start any of that stuff,” was her answer. With so many of us, we would be swapping gifts all year! I guess it would shore up the economy. *</p>
<p>That’s why it can get ridiculous. If my relatives, kids’ friends, and my kids all started sending these announcements to each other, the parents (not the kids) would be sending checks back and forth to each other. It would seem ridiculous.</p>
<p>*After texting my friend last night and asking if she received a graduation announcement from my son, her reply was “Yes, thanks for thinking about us”. This evening I just received a text from her asking if I had any suggestions of what she might include in a graduation card for my son? So maybe by me asking if she received anything her conscience was pricked! But I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s responses and have learned much on this subject and in the future will consider these new viewpoints! *</p>
<p>Oh my! I didn’t realize that the communication (aka “reminder”) had been by texting. Yikes! Sorry, but that is just not right.</p>
<p>asking if I had any suggestions of what she might include in a graduation card for my son?</p>
<p>Those were her words in her follow up text? That sounds odd. What would one “include” IN a card other than money/gift card, words of congrats, and signatures? What kind of answer could anyone give to such a question?</p>
<p>I am positive that I received an announcement more than 2 weeks ago. I have the card - just going to give it to the student at their grad party.</p>
<p>I don’t think the level of friendship has anything to do with the timeliness of a response.</p>
<p>To me, the issue isn’t grad announcements, region of the country, or whether or not the friend should recognize the OP’s S’s graduation. Gift giving is always voluntary in all circumstances and even if in reality one is surprised or even hurt by a lack of reciprocation in no way is it ever appropriate to behave as if it’s an entitlement. The question about what to put in the card might have been sincere but could have been a pointed one, as in “Well, since you are telling me how slow I was you might as well tell me what to put in the card/send as a gift while you are at it, too.” I wouldn’t be surprised either way.</p>
<p>Don’t think we didn’t catch on to your ruse, Stats21. You weren’t pulling the wool over anyone’s eyes. Breckenwirth Academy is real, not like those other places you made up.</p>
<p>Beat me to it Pizzagirl and thanks for the laugh Stats.</p>
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<p>I think this is really passive-aggressive behavior. People don’t normally text others to see if they have received mail if no action was required as a result (such as RSVPing to a party where you need to know the headcount). The OP knows that the friend knows that the son is graduating.</p>
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Says it all in one sentence.</p>
<p><a href=“I,%20personally,%20would%20rather%20wear%20a%20street%20corner%20billboard%20for%204%20hours%20than%20attend%20a%20graduation%20that%20didn’t%20involve%20a%20close%20family%20member.”>quote</a>
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<p>You and me both, MOWC! I cannot imagine attending the graduation of anyone other than my own children. Truth be told, I’d rather not attend theirs either. 
I have two this month, anyone want to fill my seat?</p>
<p>This thread is one of those crazy CC discussions that often leave me wondering if someone is pulling our collective legs. I can’t imagine texting a friend, to ask if she has received an announcement, especially when I’ve already asked her (just yesterday!) if she received it. I don’t understand what the purpose for this text would be, other than the not at all subtle questioning of a possible gift. Regional differences on announcements and graduation parties aside, this strikes me as rude behavior ANYwhere.</p>
<p>nothing good can come of forcing the issue.</p>
<p>I agree alwaysamom. That is why it is clear to me that something else is at work here. It seems the OP perhaps expected the friend to fall back into her old ways of taking more than giving. In fact, I suspect the clock starting ticking the minute the announcement left the Post Office and the friend, in the absence of immediately dropping off a gift comparable to a dorm refrigerator, was doomed to failure. </p>
<p>I also agree about graduations. I went to my niece’s college graduation last year and it was tortuous. The graduations at the big schools in particular are more like cattle calls, lacking anything personal to an individual graduate. I’m thinking virtual graduations are a good idea. Maybe by the time my grandchildren graduate, we’ll just Skype them from the comfort of our homes.</p>
<p>I’ve actually been pretty lucky on the graduation front. I didn’t attend my own (large state university- it would have been painful.) D’s from Rice was outside, and while a little warm (understatement), it was pretty and you could sort of get up and roam around a little bit. Speaker was terrible, though.
WildChild’s Penn graduation was a huge celebration for all of us since he had come so far and it meant he was off the payroll! I milked it for everything. I stopped short of attending the receptions for the majors other than his, though. 
It was actually fun- I grew up going to Eagles games at Franklin Field and the whole thing was pretty cool. Speaker was excellent.<br>
Best one overall was son in law’s med school graduation. Amazing speaker (for you Texans, it was Dr. Red Duke) and it was just the coolest thing ever to see the number of first generation families and their pride in their new Doctor-Kids. Only problem was it was the coldest I have ever been (May in Texas- indoors) in my life. I had to sit on my feet.
High school graduations…again I was lucky with relatively small private school graduating classes and some neat pomp.</p>
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<p>I wondered if this was not intended as a rather sardonic remark. The friend might be indicating that since the OP is virtually demanding a non-verbal response, she might as well go ahead and state the dollar figure that will be considered “good enough.”</p>
<p>Stats21, highly amusing as always. If you do not have a column/blog somewhere, you should.</p>
<p>No family members came to my S’s HS graduation, except his surviving godfather, who isn’t a blood relation. (Illness prevented my parents from traveling. We bought the official video for them, and they enjoyed watching it.) His godfather also came to sophomore family weekend, and will be coming to his college graduation next year. It is possible that his sole surviving grandparent will come, too. I think graduations are usually torture for anyone who isn’t an immediate relative of he graduate. And sometimes it is torture even for them! </p>
<p>Pizzagirl, you do know that Mis Manners is a Wellesley grad, right? 
And now I must get ready to go present my 2nd junior book award of the year at an area high school…I must be a glutton for punishment.</p>
<p>
I was thoroughly moved at the med school graduation of my ex-H. He was already my ex-H, but we remained friends and he invited me. At that graduation, the sheepskins were handed, not by faculty or Deans of the school, but by the graduates’ parents (in a few cases, their spouses). Ex-DH was the first to ever attend college in his (huge) extended family, not to mention graduate Med school. To see his mother up there handing him his diploma… well, there are no words.</p>
<p>I remember fondly being a college junior and seeing my mother graduate from college - she was so proud. </p>
<p>My husband (then my boyfriend) missed my college graduation because he came down with the chicken pox, of all things!</p>
<p>Funny graduation story - one of my girlfriends is a real shopper and can shop for anything, at any time, anywhere. Her older D just graduated from college a few weeks ago; the family members present were grandma, father, mother, and younger D. Somehow, my friend and younger D wound up leaving the area where the graduation was being held to go get a Starbucks; on the way back, they passed a clothing store, went in, and bought 4 dresses for younger D; dad texted them as to where they were in calling the names, and they got back into their seats just a few minutes before older D crossed the stage. Older D was none the wiser!</p>
<p>(MOWC - this was the same graduation you were just at, though for the undergrads.)</p>
<p>LOL, pizzagirl. Your friend could have a lucrative business if she could coordinate that kind of thing for all those folks who have to attend interminable graduations. She could shuttle the females to shopping, the males off to a sports bar, the younger sibs to video game arcades. Possibilities are endless!</p>
<p>And this is EXACTLY why we didn’t send graduation announcements for high school OR college for either of our kids. The folks who really knew us KNEW the kids were graduating and could get a gift (or not). Seemed like sending an announcement to folks who already KNEW was like asking for a gift or some kind of acknowledgement. We just didn’t do it.</p>
<p>Folks who knew our kids well sent cards and/or gifts. That worked for us…and our kids.</p>
<p>We skipped the formal graduation cards orderable with caps/gowns etc. Instead we sent graduation parties invitations to local friends. In many of them we included a senior wallet photo in many of them. (Most relatives already received senior photos at Christmas). </p>
<p>The invitation requested “presence, not presents”. Many of the invites were more of parent friends/coworkers, to join us in our joy. Others were folks from church and school that might be attending many parties - we wanted them to feel free to come empty handed. Few came empty handed, and the first part of the summer included lots of reminders about writing Thank You notes.</p>
<p>I don’t mind receiving the formal invitations and got one for son of a college roommate many states away the other day. I feel no pressure to send a card or gift - just happy to be thinking of them and their graduation hoopla fun.</p>
<p>I have to disagree with this being a ‘southern’ thing. I think any type of announcement is ‘asking for a gift’. If someone is a friend they certainly know that your child graduated. Why on earth would you send an announcement? Sorry, I think its tacky.</p>
<p>These days, it’s the “likes” on Facebook photos of graduates that count!</p>