Or maybe the parents understand that the student likely WON’T come home for every break.
My kids were within a few hours on Amtrak to our house. The choice was going back to the HS job for the summer or something really cool (which paid more) on or near campus. It’s hard to insist “put on that uniform and go back to dishing out extra large diet coke’s” when an attractive and interesting research/editorial/fact-checking job with a professor materializes for the summer!
One kid DID spend a month of the summer at the old job at home-- before taking off for a paid fellowship overseas. Again- how do you say no to that?
It does sound as if the parents are dependent in some ways. And the fear and loss are understandable- we all feel that as our kids leave.
@MagicBirf can you practice Zoom with your parents? One of mine want across the country for grad school and during the COVID shutdowns, we kept each other company via Zoom, a habit we have continued even with them back on this coast. It might reassure your parents.
Please note that if the school doesn’t include loans in their aid package but you choose to take them anyway they will all be unsubsidized. Therefore working to make up that gap is a much better choice if possible (might have to do both).
my 2nd or 3rd additional post on Penn/Philly here… just to share my own experiences:
a) I was sick literally where I couldn’t get off my room for a few days, I was an intl student then, one of my friends checked up on me… plus there’s campus health at UPenn (UPenn hospital is literally nearby) - so that takes care of one aspect of your parents’ concern
b) going home everyday? ok that’s a parental problem, seriously, not yours… I am a parent now, I was a child of my parent then (still am of course now but you get the drift)… my mother cried in front of me prior to me leaving the “House” to study abroad…
c) security/safety – it’s not a concern (seriously) - i mean i can’t predict the future but UCLA, and USC for that matter, Koreatown, etc remember? is it any safer in LA?
d) Cost/Financial Aid – honestly, that is the main question but even that, are you (the student) willing to work for your $ and pay the loan back… it’s not cheap, and yes it certainly factors into the equation – that is the only valid concern, in my honest and humble opinion on why Penn vs UCLA is an issue…
I personally don’t see any issues with either school, but of course, I am taking Penn’s side bec a) I’m a biased alum and b) I want to remove all “false rumors” about Penn/Philly… there’s infinite possibilities and concerns that may come from your/one’s parents, most of which can be resolved logically… imho
I am only responding to help OP not validate what you are saying. As a Penn Parent of a current student that Penn Fin aid will not be affected by this. They have already said this to families. The endowment is huge so OP please do not use this in your decision matrix.
Have tried that during my stay at a summer program (which required me to dorm on campus for 2 weeks). Seems like they just don’t want me to be far away for the next 4 years.
For now, focus on finding allies who will advocate for you.
It’s not the right time to discuss this yet and you shouldn’t bring it up alone.
It’s fresh to them - probably worrisome and difficult to think you’d be far away (?)
Do you have someone IRL with whom you can share your concerns and wishes?
That being said, they too left their country for a better life - it would be your turn and in all likelihood you wouldn’t be going as far away as they did, you already speak the language, you’d have housing and food guaranteed and a whole support network already in place. You’d have it easy compared to them
I remember watching the plane fly into the sky when one of mine left for the other coast, and that was for grad school. It is easy to sympathize given the particulars of your parents’ situation. I am wondering if leaving for PA would make you feel guilty. There are many considerations here: your feelings, your parents’ feelings. Two great schools. It will be okay.
@MagicBirf : how are things going? Were you able to talk with your GC? To reach out to on campus groups at Penn? Was an adult your parents trust able to help you?
Were you invited to Admitted student day at UCLA and the fly-in (with a parent) at Penn?
Hello! I was able to go to Bruin day but not Quaker day (because they didn’t give me travel funds) and I really enjoyed being at the UCLA campus! I talked with my counselor the other day and she said she would be surprised if Penn didn’t give me a full ride based off my financial needs so for now I think Ill wait until my award letters arrive to see if my parents change their minds. However, I do see myself being at Ucla.
Do you still want to visit Penn? If so, have you contacted financial aid / admissions to ask if there are any funds available to provide funding for admitted students who can’t otherwise afford to visit?
I found documentation from 2022 that says the following (Note: even though it is specific to Quaker Days, it might still be applicable for an admitted student who wants to visit before the deadline. It never hurts to ask. PS. You may want to consider telling them that they are your first choice, but that you can’t commit until visiting).
Q. I really want to come to Quaker Days, but can’t afford the expense. Are funds available to cover my travel costs?
A. Sponsorship funds are limited. Students who will be sponsored to attend MSP and Quaker Days will be contacted directly by Penn Admissions. If you are not offered sponsorship but determine that you cannot attend due to travel cost, you may e-mail quakerdays@admissions.upenn.edu to make a request for sponsorship consideration. If we are unable to accommodate you, please connect with us by following @previewingpenn on Facebook and Instagram, and join the official Class of 2022 Facebook group. We will host a series of live events in April about life at Penn which you can access through the admitted student Facebook group.
Adding on to my own post – upon re-reading your post, it looks like maybe you already asked for funds and were told no? If that’s true, are you able to afford airfare even if not a hotel room? Penn might be able to arrange for you to stay with a current student if that is true (some colleges used to do this pre-Covid. I don’t know if it is still something that’s done).
Yeah…I emailed them and they responded that they had limited funds to give out. However, those funds were already distributed to other students. Unfortunately, my family can’t afford the airfare + hotel + transportation costs to Philly so I haven’t been on campus and I’ve been relying on online campus tours to get a feel for the campus vibe.
You’ve made some great suggestions @MMRose. But as I said upthread, despite Penn’s robust endowment, they are not generous with FGLI funding. They really could do more but they don’t.
My D19 knew many FGLI kids who were denied funding to leave campus or housing to remain on campus during the pandemic shutdown. Even students whose housing was unstable (e.g. from war torn countries, homeless etc) were not allowed to stay.
Lyft/Uber from the airport is ~$50. SEPTA is the cheapest option.
If OP likes UCLA, then that might be the best choice for her family. Choosing UCLA eliminates the financial burden of traveling to visit OP and means her parents can attend special events like family weekend, etc.
That sounds like a generic answer though - can your GC call the FGLI office today about it, explaining your situation, that they’re your #1 choice and that your parents will not let you attend thus this visit is crucial? The assumption here is that they admitted you because they want you to attend - why would they shoot themselves in the foot?
Perhaps if your GC - who advocated for you - calls them, it’ll get them moving for your visit.
If OP has to beg for help now, what is it going to be like after they enroll?
The generosity and assistance that has been discussed up thread doesn’t seem to be a reality. Remember, OP did not receive their financial aid offer yet. The amount posted in the title was based off of the NPC.
OP was also accepted to other schools in CA with Regents scholarships. They chose UCLA over those campuses which offered additional benefits and would have likely been cheaper.
Berkeley would be a top choice, right? All of those are great. Is the benefit of UCLA that it is close to home vs Berkeley? If so then Philadelphia is a lot further away. There is a nice train from LA to Berkeley- takes a day!
