<p>My daughter will be beginning college at Princeton this year. She has just begun supervised driving a couple of weeks ago (we couldn’t do it earlier for various reasons). She is a somewhat nervous driver, but has made great progress since she began. She is not ready to take her road test yet, but with continued practice she may well be able to take it in a couple of months. We live close to Princeton, and could have her continue to practice, but…
if she were to see us a few times a week, would that impact the settling in process at college adversely? She is reluctant to continue supervised driving for that reason, but we are concerned that she might lose the skills and confidence that she gained over the last month. Driving, as you know, is really a life skill. I am afraid that if we let it go, she may go back to being nervous to drive. I feel that the older she gets, the harder it will become for her.</p>
<p>I would appreciate any suggestions that you folks might have.</p>
<p>I would put the process on hold until next spring/summer. Even if she were to get her license soon, how often would she able to drive after that? It’s not only the practice leading up to the test that matters, but also the driving you do once you actually have your license. Simply having a license doesn’t mean you know how to drive well, and if you don’t drive frequently after you get it you can lose the skills that you do have. </p>
<p>Your D can practice a bit with you during her breaks just to keep her hand in, but I would go with her instincts about not seeing you too often while she’s getting acclimated to college. Then if she’s home for the summer she can get her license and put in the hours she needs to hone her skills.</p>
<p>If she comes home for Thanksgiving let her those days, if she comes home at Christmas ditto. Spring break… As long as she keeps up it’s good practice. She probably needs a total number of hours supervised anyway before she can go take the test and get her license. Many kids don’t have access to cars in college so she’s got a good stretch before she needs a license. Anecdotally it’s been said on these forums that kids that grow up in urban areas with mass transit often don’t get driver’s licenses the minute they turn 16 so she won’t be a rarity on campus.</p>
<p>Here’s my story. I never got my license before going to college. I ended up getting a grant to spend the year after I graduated driving around the country photographing firestations. Needless to say learning how to drive was my priority the summer was to learn how to drive. My partner in this project had had a license for years, but never drove. I ended up being a much better driver than she was. </p>
<p>I agree with others. She can pick it up again at the school holidays and when she actually needs to have a license she’ll get one.</p>
<p>Seeing your D for her driving time could interfer with the process becoming an independant person. Like the other posters have said, just wait until next summer. Maybe winter break if it is long enough. I wouldn’t try Thanksgiving break, too short; just let her relax. </p>
<p>Too late in your case, but I pushed my D into getting her license well before she went to college. Just getting your license doesn’t make one a good driver, you need to practice over established routes, then expand your scope and feel comfortable while maintaining alertness to be a good driver.</p>
<p>Think of the money you save but not paying insurance on a car your D isn’t driving! Agree that it is an important life skill- but not one which can be acquired in tiny doses over the space of several months.</p>
<p>Thank you for your replies. I think that I agree with you. I will get her to drive home (supervised, of course!) if she wants to come home some weekends, and she can drive a bit during November recess and Thanksgiving, and winter. Maybe we can aim for a license in the summer. We don’t want to interfere with the process of her gradually becoming independent.</p>
<p>In some states, if you are 18 with a learners permit you only need a licensed driver to accompany you. I’d have a quit chat with my D about these rules so she doesn’t go driving with her friends as the “instructor”!</p>
<p>You can gain skill in doses over time. Kids in Michigan take drivers training at 14 years and some odd amount of months so for a year and a half they are “driving” in incremental doses…because they need to have a parent with them. It tends to be ‘when you have time’ to drive with them. Also kids, I think, are pretty good drivers after all the video games, bumper cars and all the things that require thinking about multiple tasks at the same time. I was quite surprised how easily the kids took to driving. I remember being totally petrified at the concept of holding the steering wheel, pushing the gas pedal, and staying between the lines.</p>
<p>Addressing the insurance issue someone mentioned: </p>
<p>At least thru my insurance company, you only need to add them to your insurance when they get their license. Before that, not required as they are effectively driving on the insurance of the person who is the “instructor”. (this brings up a good question as to what happens if they are driving with a friend) </p>
<p>In addition, as long as the student is away at college, they also do not need to be on your insurance unless they have a car at school. However, my insurance company defined away at school as being at least 180 miles from home. My son was 175 miles away, so we had to pay!!!</p>
<p>Kajon,
Here in NJ they have to be accompanied by a licensed driver over the age of 21. Also, she really does not enjoy driving, so I doubt that she would drive for fun. At least, not just yet. However, you make a good point. I will be sure to remind her not to do anything foolish.</p>
<p>Momofthreeboys,
She never got into video games…so she did not develop the multitasking skills that way.</p>
<p>Had she loved driving, I don’t think I would be as worried about the break from driving. But, I guess things will work out eventually</p>
<p>^I don’t see that as a big problem. My college boyfriend did most of my driving supervision. He was great - very calm. (He’s now my husband.) I think by then he was probably 21.</p>
<p>I got my driver’s license two weeks before I graduated from college. Since I didn’t have a car, it really didn’t matter if I had a license or not, until then. I got my first car about two months after I graduated. I never practiced during the school year until just before I took the test (which I did on a friend’s car). I was 22 years old.</p>
<p>Hey, you guys are making me feel a lot better. I felt that I was a negligent parent for not beginning her instruction sooner. Hopefully she’ll learn when she is ready and eventually get her license.</p>
Whether or not this is true depends on your insurance company and (perhaps) on your state. We had to keep our kids on our insurance (one was over a thousand miles from home) with just a 30% discount for not having a car there.</p>
<p>In our state ALL licensed drivers must have insurance unless they will NOT be driving at all. So…this OP will actually save some money if the daughter does NOT get her license at all. No insurance for someone who doesn’t have a license!!</p>
I think by then he was probably 21.</p>