It is very gracious of you to go and I’m sure it will be a comfort to the family to know that their father was so respected and cared about by his neighbors.
Any food you do or don’t decide to bring is unimportant next to the fact that you are taking time out of your day to pay a condolence call. It is also perfectly OK to let them know that this is your first shiva call and you are not entirely familiar with the customs.
I think the gentleman who passed was fortunate to have you as a neighbor.
Thank you for your respect for Jewish customs and traditions.
If you can, you should go, even if for a short time. His sons and perhaps his wife may not know how fond his neighbors were of him and it would ease their grief to know that people will think of him with fondness. If his widow is going to stay in the building, it would give comfort to the sons to know that there are people who will look out for her.
As for food, it should be kosher, but it doesn’t have to be a lot. A small box of cookies from a casual acquaintance is more than sufficient.
Guests don’t remove their shoes unless it’s otherwise a custom of that house. I have dogs so I would never let anyone take their shoes off in my house. The mourners can go shoeless and they sit on low boxes or simple chairs, not the guests. In a traditional home, mirrors are covered as well.
Oh, and Kaddish is the prayer for the dead. At a shiva, a rabbit usually comes and leads a service. As a non-Jew, you would not count in the minyan (the group of 10 men over Bar Mitzvah age required to make the prayers legitimate) but your presence would be welcome.
Had to laugh at that typo @techmom99 - we don’t get too many rabbits leading Kaddish around here 
Glad that was a typo. I was thinking I had a lot more to learn about these customs than I thought!
This family may have none of the customs (covered mirrors, torn ribbon on clothing, low chairs, etc). You clearly have the caring and social graces to carry yourself with dignity anywhere.
Rabbit! OMG! I just gave myself a visual of a Hasidic guy being pulled out of a top hat… That’s what I get for posting well after midnight. Ah, well, my temple did once have a “Rabbi” who performed magic tricks to entertain the younger children, so maybe it’s possible…
@pizzagirl is absolutely correct. Some families may perform none of the traditions but I thought I’d mention them because I have had non Jewish friends ask me about things they’d observed at shivas. I know that I was somewhat confused about what to do the first time I went to a Catholic wake because it was so different from sitting shiva.
If you know the family, call and see if there is anything you can help with. I wouldn’t just bring something. Sometimes a group of people chips in and buys food for another night during the week for the family so they don’t have to think about making or buying food.
FYI, it is unusual for the family to sit shiva at multiple homes. And for clarification the shiva is after the funeral.
The OP doesn’t know the family; that’s the whole point. This was a co-apartment resident who was friendly.
@Pizzagirl someone else in the complex might know the family. And the OP can be part of that group that does something for the family.
FYI, in a world where siblings (with their respective spouses and children) and their parents often live in different cities and have largely different social circles, it is extremely common for families to sit shiva at multiple homes. When my parents died, they lived 400 miles from me, 3,000 miles from one sibling, and 10 blocks from my other sibling. We sat shiva for a couple of days at my parents’ apartment, but when my wife and I went home (before the first week of mourning was over) we sat shiva one evening in our own home so that our friends could come over. Probably half the shiva calls I ever make are like that.
There is a shiva website that provides great information for those who want to learn more
Agree with JHS about multiple shiva sites. Very common.
I also haven’t been to any shiva (including for my dad) in the last several decades where anyone covered the mirrors or sat on anything low. I think only the very religious do that now. Also now the funeral homes give the family black cloth that is torn and pinned on - as no one wants their good clothes ripped!
One thing that is still very common is there will be a pitcher of water (and paper towels) near the front door to cleanse your hands before entering the house.
Our funeral home provided folding chairs…not low boxes. And yes to the little piece is torn black cloth…and the water for hand washing. But we didn’t cover mirrors.
We also don’t keep Kosher ouselves, and never did. So…we had cold cut trays that had cheese on them…as well as meat. And we had THE best donuts in town…and a lot of them for the early birds. Not from a kosher bakery.
That being said…I would not take a spiral ham, or anything wrapped in bacon 
The water outside the door is for people returning from the cemetery.
Quite common for families to sit shiva consecutively at different homes. They won’t sit shiva concurrently at different homes, although I suppose this could happen if siblings don’t get along.
This is only when you go back to the shiva house immediately following the cemetery. It is not there on subsequent days.
Another thing I’ve learned here . . . . you “sit Shiva” or make a Shiva call. You don’t go to “a” Shiva. Need to get my terminology down here.
That was kind. Thank you.
Feel free to PM me if you have any question on that in the future. Or the weddings with a full one hour Mass? Ugh. I remember the first time going to a protestant church and asking my parents where the kneelers were. Ha!
Correct, nor anyone else in the building, and there’s no organized effort that I’m aware of, but I’m fine with that. I just ordered a big Honeybaked ham. (Kidding 
) I spent some time last night looking up the best kosher bakeries in the city. Apparently there are several, with one known for their chocolate babka. If they throw it out, they do, but I decided I wouldn’t feel right showing up with nothing. And don’t know if they are kosher. I’m guessing not, but better safe than sorry.
When I started thinking about this more and what would be meaningful to me, I thought about a Halloween tradition my father started asking each child to perform in some way. It could be a trick (as in trick or treat), but could also be singing, dancing, telling a joke, or whatever they wanted. He got GREAT candy and told them if they didn’t want to, it was fine and they still got one, but they performed, they’d get two. I thought kids would start running from the house crying to their parents about the mean man who wouldn’t just give them candy, but instead, the kids got into it. They all wanted TWO!
My parents set chairs by the door and would watch each performance, and their house became known for this. For the littlest ones, it might be a knock knock joke. Didn’t matter, but some kids started planning for it and practicing for weeks for their “performance,” with some even coming together to create singing or dance routines. And as more people heard about it, more and more kids started coming to “the house where you have to perform.” Some years they had well over 100 kids with virtually all doing something. Who’d have thought? One guy who grew up and had a daughter actually drove her over from another part of town on Halloween so she could be part of the tradition.
It’s great to have close family and friends be there for support when someone close passes, but I thought about how meaningful it would be for me to have even just one of these kids show up and meet them. It would be no less valuable to me than someone who had known my father all his life, and that told me it’s not always about how long or how well someone knew your relative, but knowing they made an impact on that person’s life even in just a small way that keeps their memory alive.
I also look at it this way. If I commit some serious faux pas, it will give them something to talk about for years to come. It’s a win-win either way.
A story about the pinned on torn black cloth. My father died in 1979. When the rabbi wanted to cut what my mother and I were wearing, I insisted on getting the torn black cloth pinned on instead. My cheap father, although Orthodox, would not have approved of ruining perfectly good clothing.
Yeah, I didn’t get the “unusual for the family to sit shiva at multiple homes” reference either. I’ve certainly heard of it, and my circle isn’t particularly observant.