<p>Mothers often like to see their kids produce grandchildren, so perhaps some may be disappointed if their children are gay and thus less likely to produce grandchildren.</p>
<p>However, gay guys sometimes have children through surrogacy.</p>
<p>And as marriage equality becomes more common in the states (as I believe it will), I expect laws that allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt children will become more widespread, too.</p>
<p>It is my recent thought that children who need to be adopted and same sex partners are a match made in heaven!!! With the blessing of heaven. <3</p>
<p>I can’t say that I’ve ever thought about it, either when my son first came out or since. Of course, he came out to me when he was 12, when that was hardly on the horizon anyway! There are a number of reasons why I do happen to be grateful that my son isn’t straight, but that isn’t one of them.</p>
<p>Please remember the importance of showing him your love and acceptance. What Montegut said is true. Parental rejection of LGBT teenagers (sometimes to the point of throwing them out of the house) is far too common, and can be tremendously damaging emotionally. I am convinced that the fact that my son received complete acceptance from both his parents (although he didn’t come out to my ex until a couple of years later) has really helped him grow up into the very self-accepting, self-confident young man he is today, at 23. He knows other young gay men his age who still have issues with their parents – or aren’t even out to them, or are out only to their mothers but not their fathers. It isn’t easy.</p>
<p>PS: There is nothing in the world I’d like more than to be a grandma, and I know my son would be the best daddy ever! But it’s ultimately his decision, and my being pushy about it at this point in his life (or, probably, ever) would be, I think, highly counter-productive, considering, among other things, that he hasn’t yet had a long-term relationship, and isn’t even sure whether or when he’s going to go to graduate school. Children are not exactly on his mind right now!</p>
<p>Hi, OP mm2mom;
Just wondering how you and your husband are doing. Neither I nor DD are LGBTQIQ; we’re just allies who are standing on the side of love. (The last part stands for queer, intersex, and questioning.) I hope your DS can live in as LGBT friendly community as the Bay Area. I think those in his generation and beyond will make more places as friendly. Three weeks ago, we attended an adoption party that was almost like a wedding. The girl’s (gay) parents made vows to her, and she to them. They couldn’t go on their family honeymoon to Hawaii because they had just accepted a newborn foundling into their home the day before! And Saturday, DD and I are ushering at our church which is opening its doors to any couples who want to marry since Prop. 8 was overturned. It will be so fun if lots of happy couples show up!</p>
<p>And something to tuck into the back of your mind as it is VERY premature: I know this is sometimes done informally, but at least twenty years ago there was an organization that facilitated the meeting of gays who wanted to be fathers with lesbians who wanted to be mothers. DD went to preschool with a boy whose strawberry blonde mom wanted a ginger headed child so sought out his ginger headed dad. They lived near each other and shared custody. Sadly, mom died when child was in first grade so the dad has full custody but is not a single parent assuming he is still partnered with the same fellow, also a dad, that he was with 19 years ago. </p>
<p>So it does and is getting better for gay and lesbian youth. For the transgendered F2M kids I know it seems to be a hard path for their moms to hoe; I think it is easier on their dads maybe because these youth don’t have brothers. I think these moms wish their kids were <em>just</em> lesbians, but wishing won’t make it so. </p>
<p>All the best to you and your family and standing on the side of love.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone under 25 should profess that they are gay… before that point, minds are wandering, emotions are boiling, and sometimes people just don’t know what they want/feel…</p>
<p>That is like saying I couldn’t know for sure that I was straight until I was 25… and that is just plain silly. I knew by the time I was 13 that I was attracted to men, and had plenty of sexual experience by the age of 25 to confirm it (I am female). I don’t know why it would be any more difficult for someone to know they are attracted to the same sex starting in early teens. Sometimes it is obvious… my daughter who is gay has never had a male celebrity crush in her life, although pretty much all of her friends who are girls have. Although when I said this to her the the other day, she said indignantly, “I have too had a male celebrity crush! You forgot about Kurt Vonnegut!”. All the young men that her friends are paying attention to might as well be furniture for her… but she perks up when a beautiful woman is on the screen. And all of her IRL crushes have been girls, too.</p>
<p>Now some people may take a while to figure out that they are bisexual – but someone who is attracted to the opposite sex usually knows early and it doesn’t change.</p>
<p>You seriously don’t know your orientation? If you <em>really</em> don’t, you’re probably lying to yourself. </p>
<p>Now, sexuality is fluid- I absolutely believe that. However, you know your basic sexuality long before that. </p>
<p>Also, by that twisted logic, no one under 25 should profess that they are straight. They’re probably just emotional.</p>
<p>ETA: Judging by your other posts, you seem to not understand how anyone could lead a life differently than you. Just because someone isn’t like you doesn’t mean that they don’t know what they want/feel or are emotional or whatever.</p>
<p>As a sixteen year old queer girl, I find your post extremely offensive. I’ve known forever that I like girls way more than guys. Maybe we should just ban dating for everyone until they are 25 if nobody knows what they want before then, and especially marriage, which would cause a crapload of problems. And I know that I feel love towards my girlfriend. My being 16 doesn’t change that. It’s not like you wake up one day just like, “I’m gay (or bi or pan or whatever queer)”. It’s a long process that starts when you are a child and lasts for the rest of your life. Anyway, who are you to say that I don’t know what I want/feel? You don’t even know me. And just ask yourself at what age you knew you were going to end up with the gender you are with, or even when you had your first kiss, and you will realize how inaccurate your statement is.</p>
<p>saye: please google born this way blog. You will find stories from hundreds of people describing how early they realized their orientation. This is a different site than the one Lady Gaga has.</p>
<p>I gather you are a high school student. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for gay youth raised in environments where it isn’t okay to be gay. The internet must be a huge help these days. Maybe someone has useful sites to post for a student in such a situation?</p>
<p>Well, being gay today is not the same as being gay 20 or 40 years ago. Marriage and kids are now part of the equation. An old college friend and his husband each have biological children with the same surrogate. Is that different from the fairly common problem where one of the heterosexual parents can’t conceive and either a surrogate or a donor is used?</p>
<p>I have daughters. Don’t care about their sexuality though I would love to have grandkids. Their sexuality is their business.</p>
<p>As for the kid, say, “I’m glad we know. Love you. It may take a few adjustments for me to wrap my head around this completely but I’ll do it.” </p>
<p>I have on the mantle a glass case that contains a passport found while cleaning out my mother’s house. It is my grandmother’s grandfather. He was born in 1855 and came to the US through Britain from what was then Poland in 1923. Here’s one thing: his name is listed with Polish spelling at the front though the family name is Russian (and my grandmother spoke Russian and her sister did translation at the UN). Was it changed because it was more prestigious to be considered Russian than Polish? I’ll never know. And then it gets weird: the name written by him as passport bearer - with the instructions clear in French - is not the name written officially as his name. It’s not even close. The first name is similar but appears to be Judah instead of Judel. The last name is really different. So who the heck was he? I look at this picture every day. This is my dad’s mother’s grandfather and there are relatives with this last name. But it doesn’t seem to be his name at all. We all pass into that kind of dim memory. My children know me. Maybe I’ll have grandchildren but their children will only hear bits and pieces and pretty soon I’ll be some photographs in a drawer or existing unseen in some server. So why care about something like this or that person being gay or not?</p>
<p>Was it really a shock? I am not asking to be snarky. But, we have a few gay family members. And from what my relatives say, they could always tell those family members were gay, before the family members said so. And I have a son that I suspect will end up gay. Maybe he won’t, but I suspect it. </p>
<p>I guess because I know gay people, this would not be a shock to me. I have gay friends who have children. I have gay family members. </p>
<p>I am sorry you are going through a hard time (((hugs))))</p>
<3</p>
All the young men that her friends are paying attention to might as well be furniture for her… but she perks up when a beautiful woman is on the screen. And all of her IRL crushes have been girls, too.</p>