<p>^ you can see that I am still cynical bitter grizzle hag.
I don’t think I can help the girl any good.
was Parsons her parents’ choice or her own?
if she had some other option/ idea maybe go back to that plan?</p>
<p>She applied to an odd selection of schools. In the end she didn’t really like any that she got into. There was a lot of pressure from Dad to do Business or Science. She grew interested in art school late in the process and I think the Design Management program was a way to slip art school to her dad. Seems that underneath she just wants to paint and draw in a classical way. Very traditional. She did a wall size reproduction of Botticelli’s Venus in her mom’s house for her senior project. She has an incredible work ethic and discipline matched by being just as incredibly hard on herself. I keep trying to sense into what school would fit her and I don’t get anything. Any ideas? She never let me know her test scores. She was a very good student but I don’t think she tested well. Too much anxiety. She is somewhat of a conservative person. Clean and well presented…no piercings or tattoo’s are coming her way. Sometimes I think an all girl’s school would suit her.</p>
<p>parsons is almost girl’s school, no?
Is LACs OK?
SLC? could be worse for spoiled/ rich bit.
if she is book smart, Smith, Mt Holyoke, what the other one near philly.
if she just wants to paint, I like the attitude of NY studio school. you can go to MFA if you do well there. but then what? teach? hummmmm it is going to be my problem, too, some time in the future.
dad won’t be too happy, eh.
which would he rather have? depressed unhappy D or happy contented D doing useless stuff ( from his view) </p>
<p>Y’all, what do you think?
anyone out there?</p>
<p>The anguish because I just spent the last while composing a great post about Moms and their sons and whoosh… it vanished into cyber space. True confession stuff too… how DH and I have known each other for 36 years now (I’m sure you’re all horrified). And how our families matched up perfectly at the wedding – we’re both the eldest of five children, I had three sisters and a brother and he had three brothers and a sister. And how the mothers worshipped the ONE son or the ONE daughter in our families.</p>
<p>Alas, I have no experience with children in love. None of them have boyfriends… though they’ve had ‘guy friends’ or ‘friends that are boys’. MICA girl once had a teensy crush on an EMO boy in White Plains… but we never went to White Plains much. The one time she talked us into taking her to White Plains with a friend to meet up with this boy at the movie theater they ended up sneaking out of the movie theater and going to the mall – which would have been okay if she had been honest and truthful and upfront about it in the first place… but because she lied and snuck around, we didn’t happen to go in the White Plains direction when the EMO boy was around. I think it kind of fizzled anyway. EMO boy found some girl that was not as emotionally distant as MICA girl and that probably suited him better anyway. The Aspie girl was the object of another Aspie kid’s amorous intentions – and that was not a good situation. The other Aspie kid’s mom was talking about how ‘cute’ it would be for them to go to the prom together… but my Aspie girl was happy to play WoW with this Aspie kid and talk to him at social skills group – but that’s about it. She would never ever in a hundred million years go to a prom. She wouldn’t see the point in it. She has a hard enough time making a relationship/friendship with girls… and I think a romantic social relationship with a boy is quite beyond her. Manga girl… well she could be a completely different story. She is still young. She has a crush on her manga teacher (though she denies it… but she spends hours primping and doing who knows what before her manga classes on Saturdays… and the manga teacher is the only guy there… and he is college age – too old for her – but I think she has a crush on him. She tells me there are some boys at her lunch table in high school that ‘mess with her’ whatever that means… but I’m led to suspect that perhaps those couple of boys don’t know how to express their romantic interest more appropriately than kicking her or squeezing her – today she told me ‘Ryan was messing with me and hurting me and wouldn’t Stop when I told him to’… so I’m a little concerned… but they’re there at school and I think it’s just a normal sort of rough housing and since she has no brothers she’s not used to it.</p>
<p>So there, I’ve written all of that and there isn’t one piece of useful information in there! Sorry but I have no advice for lovelorn sons… or Moms of lovelorn sons.</p>
<p>MICA girl called tonight. She’s still clueless. She asked me how the dining plan worked --how were the meals accounted for. She didn’t realize that she could look online and check her balance. Oh, she said. She can use the dining dollars on her card for drinks in Doris Cafe?? She had been scrounging the bottom of her purse for coins to buy a soda… She said she misses riding in a car and she really really wants to get away from Bolton Hill and environs and ‘go’ somewhere… so I guess we wont be paying a visit to the dining hall. She also wants me to take her and the room mate grocery shopping… So that’s fine, we will do that. She is excited that I’m bringing more muffins (I’ve been baking like a crazy lady… trying new recipes… I"ve made blueberry streusel, double pumpkin, blackberry cornmeal, zucchini-carrot, lemon-coconut and mocha so far – all gf of course) and chili. She says the extra freezer is empty and she and the room mate seem to do most of their ‘grocery’ shopping at the Rite Aid (I can just see the over flowing wastebasket with the candy wrappers from the ‘groceries’). I sent an email to the roomie’s mom and asked if the roomie would like anything special from celiac civilization (where we can actually get gluten free goodies pretty easily). We’ll see if she writes back.</p>
<p>Anyway, MICA girl seemed to be in good spirits. So I will keep all the advice you wonderful moms have given me in mind when we go see her on Sunday.</p>
<p>Moore college of Art for the unhappy Parsons girl? It’s all female, in Philly and they have a business minor. Looks pretty clean cut too. We talked to a Moore rep at NPD once and she was great but D wanted to run far away from an all girls school. Like that 70/30 ratio is so much better!</p>
<p>D1 has a longterm BF. We were hoping it would end long ago, nothing against the guy but it makes me nervous that someone she met at age 15 is still the ONE. He graduated from HS a year before her and is doing basically nothing. Except now, he’s visiting her almost every weekend at her college! He broke up with her once, which was devastating to her and came at a time when she was trying to do tests and things for her college apps. Then they got back together which bothered me at first, but things have been calm for the last year or so. She’s very annoyed right now by the drunken stupid behavior of many guys in her dorm and since BF is anti-alcohol, I’m sure he looks pretty good to her (and to us too, for that matter).</p>
<p>D2 has had very occasional short-term boyfriends. She seems OK about it but I’m sure it would help her self esteem enormously to be on the receiving end of a strong dose of love and devotion from a boy she has good feelings for too. Someday…</p>
<p>Gmom- maybe you should visit the dining hall with D just to help her get used to the routine there. And you can take her here:</p>
<p>[Gluten</a> Free Desserts :: Sweet Sin Bakery :: Baltimore, MD](<a href=“http://www.glutenfreedesserts.com/]Gluten”>http://www.glutenfreedesserts.com/)</p>
<p>And to one of these restaurants:</p>
<p>[Gluten-Free</a> Friendly Restaurants - Baltimore | Urbanspoon](<a href=“http://www.urbanspoon.com/t/31/1/Baltimore/Gluten-Free-Friendly-restaurants]Gluten-Free”>http://www.urbanspoon.com/t/31/1/Baltimore/Gluten-Free-Friendly-restaurants)</p>
<p>Bon Appetit!</p>
<p>How cool that there are gluten friendly restaurants in Baltimore. There was a gluten and dairy free boy in my younger son’s class. Whenever it was time to bring in a birthday treat I would include a special something for him. It was good to wake up out of one size fits all thinking and care for his needs. </p>
<p>All this food talk is getting me going. I have to find that Eatalyn place next time I go to NYC. </p>
<p>As for the HS relationship thing, my own experience was, by the time Thanksgiving rolled around and my world had opened up so much at college, it was time to tell HS boyfriend goodbye! I’m sure I was rotten and selfish but it felt like pure survival at the time. Staying with him felt like staying in a world I was desperately trying to upend. I remember coming home for Thanksgiving break, sick as a dog from eating too much sugar and drinking too much beer, to finding a stack of records I had given HS BF as gifts leaning on my doorstep. Ouch. Joy Division…Love Will Tear Us Apart.</p>
<p>In the meantime…being able to write and vent here has opened up my heart to GF more and I wrote her an email today giving her some feedback from our call, throwing in the suggestion she considers seeing a counselor for support at this transitional time in her life. She’s off to see S for the weekend this afternoon and I told them to go out to dinner on me (thanks famom).</p>
<p>Moore College…very interesting. She does want a city and Philly is a cool place.</p>
<p>Hey…I lost a pm…just totally lost from someone I haven’t seen on here asking about CMU…name began with a B…I think. So sorry…if you see this post send another PM. </p>
<p>I just sent off another care package to S…getting a bit silly to be sending chocolate milk when he should be able to buy this himself. Anyway, it’s the thought that counts and Fedex ground is very cheap–$6 for a humongous and heavy box. </p>
<p>So…after weighing all the advice…I have decided on the card expressing my concern/affection for girl so she doesn’t feel that I will never talk to her again. It is unlikely we will run into each other but still if they get back together, the card will have been an important gesture…if not still a gesture…</p>
<p>I am lucky that while she may be very upset over the breakup she is pretty well grounded and very focused on what she wants out of life so I think she will be fine. I think Drae is facing a tougher situation when the girl is so vulnerable.</p>
<p>It doesn’t help being a mother to a daughter if you realize that she is not interested in your experience in HS for dating…I was a bit of a tomboy but looked ok in prom dress so I went to a ton of proms/dates with friends, friends of friends, friends of brother (non-demanding date, cute, didn’t expect/want romance) and finally fell for a guy my senior year 8 years older in my karate class (watch out manga girl!)…a graduate student! eeks! So I finally go off to college and decide that I have moved beyond the old man back home…poor guy…he actually came to do post-doc work at my University in hopes of making it last…I should have been far more brutal when I broke up with him. I still feel bad even though he is extremely successful oral surgeon and is married with step children. I think, even in case of emotionally vulnerable, rip the bandaid off fast is almost always best…not cruel but clear, no room for misunderstandings…</p>
<p>As always keep the food stories coming…I am intrigued how you make gluten free muffins and spent a little while in the gluten free part of the grocery store…interesting that quinoa is everywhere…I thought only andeans like us enjoyed that stuff.</p>
<p>It might be Dr Nicholas Perricone’s doing,
as seen on TV -I haven’t- but suppose quinoa cures all carb wants but can’t haves (plain white carb is the enemy of acne, aging, blah blah
the guy is nuts but it works.
<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Acne-Prescription-Perricone-Program-Healthy/dp/0060188782/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285360884&sr=1-10[/url]”>http://www.amazon.com/Acne-Prescription-Perricone-Program-Healthy/dp/0060188782/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285360884&sr=1-10</a>
I don’t follow lerigiously ( gotta have pasta) and will never ever pay for Madison Ave. supplements where he really is at, but effect is imidiate. my kid was pudgy side before pubes but acne remedy fixed that up, too somehow.
thus girls come and go, as acne - when he eat peanutsbutter cups, bufallo wings, snuck beer, etc etc.
when acne goes for good, suppose GF stays for good?</p>
<p>@redbug119 Sorry I sort of dropped off the map. It’s a busy year for me, too – my senior year, with lots of things to keep track of to ensure I graduate on time. I also have the GRE in a week or so, and grad school apps to work on. My classes started the day I returned from dropping daughter off, so I really had to get started on that. </p>
<p>She’s doing fine. Her classes are a little more basic than she would like, because some classmates don’t have as much experience as she does. On the other hand, several of her classes have a lot of freedom when working on projects, which has really allowed her to apply her own spin to the work. </p>
<p>Her school is on the north side of downtown, and her apartment is on the south side, about 1.8 miles apart. She loves walking through the city, which is is very vibrant, with lots of things going on. They have nights when streets are blocked off and galleries are open for free and performers and artists use the streets – sort of like a nighttime street fair that is just devoted to art. As a student, she got free passes to the Portland Time Based Arts (TBA) festival, which was a week of performances and performance art and films and all sorts of things. (On the down side, she had to write papers about it, too!) </p>
<p>The second day we were there, we took 2 of her roommates out to dinner; they had never had Thai food. I have a feeling her cooking is going to make them crazy, because she uses a lot of spices and ethnic ingredients, and they’re mostly ramen and instant noodles kids. </p>
<p>Not sure what else to say. I have a lot of papers due this month, and I’m attending a national conference in my field as a student ambassador for a visiting international scholar, and I’m writing a proposal for a thing in the spring, and all of that pretty much means I keep forgetting to stop by CC! Hope yall are doing well, too.</p>
<p>Trin, it’s really good to hear from you. I’m glad to hear that you and your daughter are so happy and busy. Her roommates will come around and enliven their bland noodles with some Thai spices and veggies! </p>
<p>Good luck with the GRE.</p>
<p>TrinSF…so good to get the update! Hope all goes well with your many undertakings and the GRE.</p>
<p>Trin - glad to hear all is well. Sounds like a great place to be, wish I could have brought D to see the school, but she is very happy where she’s at, so it’s all good.</p>
<p>G-mom: Hope all went well at your visit Sunday.</p>
<p>I was texting back and forth to D and all of a sudden got blasted for texting too much and interfering with her study time, and being clingy. Told her I didn’t have a crystal ball nor ESP, and had no idea she was trying to write a paper. I’ve told her before that all she has to do is tell me she’s busy with homework, and I’ll put the phone down. But she kept up the conversation, so I had no idea. Her BF will be looking for a job soon, and I was giving her some networking ideas to give to him, but was then accused of “trying to run his life -you’re not his mom, he’s a mature 19 year old”. She doesn’t realize that’s how people get jobs, especially nowadays. Think she was just a bit stressed out… So I told her I would not text unless I had a question or an emergency, and would put the newsy news in a letter. She said that was fine, so we’ll see how long she sticks to her part of the bargain. When she starts to get one word answers or no answers, it’ll be interesting. And I told her to tell him I apologize and wished him well. Right now Wal-Mart looks good to him - seriously.</p>
<p>redbug: I had trouble get hold of my D and finally got a solution. I keep on let her know I miss her and want to hear her voice. I suggested her call me when she walk to somewhere. This give us about 10 min talk almost every day. Some day I get two 10 min calling! I feel this help us keep a good conversation and sometime I feel she is just around me. The more we talk the more topic come out. Hope this help!</p>
<p>redbug- ugh I hate that. I had a very grouchy call with S on Friday, because he had napped all afternoon and needed to go back to the studio. Loveblue has the system. But her D is very organized, and tends to do the same things at the same time every day. I talk to my S everyday, but only because I call. I cant help myself, my emotional weather report depends on the contact. He knows it, and it seems to be mostly ok with him, except when he is grouchy about something else. This was his weekends: Friday night studio most of night, late night/early morning diner visit. Saturday slept all day, back to studio at night. Sunday studio, dinner out with GF. He says there is tons of work, most of it foundational busy work/basics right now. When I called this evening, he was cooking dinner at dorm, then heading to the studio.</p>
<p>Love - that’s a great idea, I’ll have to mention that to her - in my next letter!! I wouldn’t call her unless it was an emergency, if she was in the middle of something, she’d bit my head off. She called several times during the first 2 weeks there, but not recently.</p>
<p>She sent me a pic last night via text showing her blank drawing board set up against a sink and the stove shoved up against the counter with a text staying “stove unplugged”, and I responded “looks like a sink” she said yeah, I said looks interesting then after awhile sent me a pic of the still life she did of what was in the sink, I said Nice. That was the extent of last nights conversation. I have vowed not to mention the “M” word (BF’s name).</p>
<p>Her schedule is much like switters’ S, lots of late nights in the studio, ended up taking a 7 hour nap after her exam on Friday, as she had been going on 4 hours of sleep. She did take the time to write a great synoposis of the school and her first year so far for a CC person who had PM’d me about MCAD. It was fun to read, gave me some insight I didn’t have before - like the self defense class she took, which I didn’t know about. Bottom line is that she loves it there and I’m learning to stay out of the way.</p>
<p>So I had written a post a couple of days ago about gluten free baking and other things… but it never appeared in the thread. Twice in one week. Strange. Maybe this one will disappear too.</p>
<p>I had my doubts about fitting all the food into the car for the drive down to Baltimore on Sunday. Three ice chests of frozen food – and I was seriously wondering what would I do when I got there and there was still food in the freezers in the dorm? Where was I going to put it? I also had six or seven grocery bags full of mostly gluten free items like cereal and snack items, six cases of diet coke, nuts, and things that I didn’t easily find when I went to the ‘regular’ grocery store in Baltimore, like fresh salsa (there was fresh salsa at the Whole Foods when we went there on move in day a month ago, but the exp date for all the containers was within a week). By the time we added in the other two teenagers plus their books (why is it that no matter how many times I said “get your homework done on Saturday, we’re going to be gone all day on Sunday” to them the homework STILL didn’t get done?) plus more clothes for the MICA girl and a few other odds and ends she requested (her sister’s green bedrest pillow – she wanted Aspie girl to trade her the green one for her pink one) we were bursting at the seams.</p>
<p>The drive to Baltimore wasn’t too bad – there was a bit of a wait at the GW bridge which I was surprised at, given that it was a Sunday morning.</p>
<p>We were also surprised by the rain – that hadn’t been in the weather forecast. Anyway, MICA girl met us out front when we arrived and was aghast at the ice chests and bags of food that she was going to have to carry through the gate house and in front of other MICA students. In the same way that she didn’t want anyone to see her have groceries delivered from Safeway, she didn’t want anyone to see her get groceries from her family. It took three trips with all of us carrying armloads of stuff to get it all into her dorm. Fortunately, the extra freezer was completely empty and the freezer over the fridge was very close to empty – so everything I brought that was frozen found a home. </p>
<p>One of her room mates (the non-celiac) was there and tried to start putting things away but MICA girl told her that the other roomie who wasn’t there would be the one to ‘organize’ everything and get it put away right. MICA girl was a bit testy with us, I think she was embarrassed by all the food (I did point out to her that I have three business trips coming up at the end of october/early november and that I didn’t think I would be doing another food run like this for this semester – she’d be coming home at Thanksgiving and we’d take a load down then, but the semester is over on the 19th of Dec, so she wouldn’t even need all that much to make it from Thanksgiving until then. We’ll see how she does with this stash.</p>
<p>I had brought a seven layer mexican dip for us all to share at her dorm – we were all hungry for lunch and planned to have an early dinner. MICA girl did not want to share it with us, lol, but I insisted. I tried not to comment on anything for the first half hour, I also worked hard to not ask her questions. She showed her room to her sisters and showed us her art that she’d done up til now – I was impressed that she had obviously been working hard and had done a good job. The Manga girl shared her news of being bumped up from the freshman ‘studio in art’ class to the ‘drawing and painting 1’ class with the other sophomores (but poor me, now I have to go buy painting supplies for the manga girl since MICA girl took most of what I had at home with her). Sr. Janet had also given manga girl an email requesting an art student’s collaboration on a children’s book illustration project (chosen student will be paid) – so MICA girl was a tad envious of that. It is interesting to see how much more confident manga girl is than MICA girl – and the dynamics between them has changed since manga girl started taking art classes too… now MICA girl has started a prismacolor marker collection – in response to manga girl maybe??</p>
<p>Anyway, I digress, again. I took MICA girl and the celiac roomie and the celiac roomie’s friend to Safeway to go grocery shopping for ‘regular’ food. The friend bought a whole cart load of snacks and crackers… pretty amusing. MICA girl and roomie bought some fresh fruit and eggs and paper goods… milk… mostly practical things.</p>
<p>I had a chance to talk to roomie alone about the dining hall situation. She isn’t getting her money’s worth either. She said that the chef takes too long to make something gluten free --it’s a hassle – so she mostly gets salad from the salad bar and if the meat looks like it doesn’t have any sauce or fillers, she gets that. She was very excited about the gluten free casseroles and pasta and stuff that I’d bought from home… even the canned gluten free spaghetti. </p>
<p>I don’t think they have any sort of formal agreement about food or costs. So it looks like I’m footing the bill to feed both of these kids. Oh well. I went to the health food store on Saturday to pick up frozen gf meals, pasta, and frozen bagels and the other things that I don’t have the time or inclination to make myself and the bill was $470. Ouch.</p>
<p>The celiac roomie had a lot of work to do so she didn’t go to get gf pizza with us. We had a nice time at dinner. MICA girl fidgeted a lot with her lip piercing… and it was a little bit puffy on one side – if she keeps touching it like that she’s going to end up with an infection. But I kept my mouth shut. She also looks like she’s lost weight – so bringing her a bathroom scale was probably good… though I suspect it’s probably still sitting there in a box. I also didn’t say a word about the state of the bathroom (hehe, manga girl brought that up). In general it was a nice visit. MICA girl brought up that she’d like to come home. I told her that it would be hard for us to drive back and forth four times, so we would like her to take the train one way and we would drive her the other way – but I could tell this bothered her. I think she is worried about taking the train on her own. When DH and I talked about this, he said we’d go pick her up and make her take the train back, but I think we’d have a huge scene when it came time for her to take the train back and he would cave in and drive her – so I think she can come home anytime, but she should figure out the train on her own and take it home. Yes, it might be a little scary for her, but she can do it. We’ll see what happens. </p>
<p>I didn’t go over to the dining hall with her at all. I mostly didn’t nag her much about going there. I’m feeling like it’s a lost cause. I also didn’t say anything to her about the learning center fiasco. I just tried to keep things as stress free as possible. She was a bit resistant about learning to use skype – and her dad setup the web cam and head set so she should be able to do that. She said she was too stressed out to deal with the flex account – so she declined our help in setting that up again… so it still has a zero balance. She still has the whole $100 ‘dining dollars’ and she still has a 98 meal balance…</p>
<p>So it goes. I am less worried that she’s not eating since I brought her food and I know she ate almost all the food I’d taken up at move in day (there was still some chocolate chip cookie dough – but the meat balls were all gone, and all the muffins and bread). Hopefully she’ll keep making it to class on time. Her room mate has mostly afternoon/evening classes – so the different schedules has good and bad sides. I guess the room mate has prodded Eileen out of bed a couple of times… that’s not good. But she’ll have to figure it out for herself. </p>
<p>I’m glad to see Trin on – and glad things are working out for her – I had mentioned that in my post that vanished. Well, yay, this will be at the top of the list again! have a good day, everyone!</p>
<p>Hi GM- I was waiting to see how your trip went. I have a suggestion about the money. Its kind of touchy, but I got the feeling that you had at least informally bonded with celiac roommates mom? Would a phone call to touch base and let her know about eating situation be too uncomfortable? Maybe she would notice that you are feeding her kid, and offer some money? </p>
<p>We had an unspoken rule in high school amongst the close friend parents. It kind of worked out because most of us had known each other since kids were in elementary school. It was kind of along the lines of whoever has the kids for whatever function pays. So the way this manifest itself tended to be I was the one mostly feeding kids, since my basement was the sleepover basement for a number of years, but if S got invited to a concert or something, whatever parent was going along paid. It was, however totally unspoken rule. Maybe at one point during an invitation some parent said "do you want some money for x y or z, and the other parent said, oh dont bother, you paid for blah blah blah…</p>
<p>Gmom - glad to hear it went well. My D would be jealous to hear Manga girl got a commission/intern too, as she’s done several children’s books herself.</p>
<p>My D just called and apologized for raging at me Sunday. As I suspected, a combination of no sleep + heavy workload = stressed out. Plus BF was trying to talk to her and she was ornery and he said he was “done”. He meant done with that conversation, she thought he was breaking up with her, more stress. And so her weekend went. She sounded much better today and the major thing is is that she doesn’t have any quarters for laundry. No place to get any close to campus either unless you put a dollar bill in a soda machine and get some change back. She’s asked for less junk food and stuff like seeds (for growing veggies) and quarters and melatonin to help her sleep. I know her sister-in-law sends candy and stuff, so I don’t know what she’ll send now.</p>