<p>I used to LOVE going to HS football games when I was in HS. My brother was a guard (6’8’', 250 lbs) and HS football games were a family event. Fast forward thirty years or so, and I dragged my kids, kicking and screaming, to ONE HS football game when we had our exchange student living with us during D1’s freshman year. It was very different from the Friday night football games I loved when I was in HS. So sad.</p>
<p>D1 and Aspie girl did about a year of soccer when they were very small – first and second grade maybe. That was it for team sports with us. They all much preferred singular pursuits – ice skating, ballet, horseback riding… I never saw the point in making them do something they didn’t want to do. Aspie girl tried out for cross country her freshman year and that did not go too well… we were all scared to death that she would get lost in the woods (including the coach) and when it came time to actually go to a meet, she freaked out with a panic attack and spent the day in bed instead. It was a very short-lived career. DH went to the meet anyway to man the snack booth. Manga girl would sometimes say that she wanted to play soccer, and when I pointed out that she’d have to go to all the practices and then the games on the weekends, she changed her mind. She loved playing soccer at recess at elementary school with the boys, but that got her labeled as a ‘lesbian’ by the other 4th grade girls. Sheesh. Nine years old and the kid comes to me and asks ‘what’s a lesbian?’. This was a parochial school too! Needless to say, the principal, Sr. Mary Elizabeth, got an earful from me over that. I told manga girl that if she wanted to play soccer with the boys, she should go ahead. Those girls in her grade were mostly just plain nasty. Snooty little snots with mascara and lipstick at nine years old…</p>
<p>Anyway, I was always of the mindset that the girls could try whatever sport/activity they wanted, but if they signed up for it, they had to finish it. They didn’t have to continue past the session, but if I paid for it they needed to do it. Manga girl has famously stopped and started horseback riding over and over again over the past nine years or so. I tended to get irritated with her when I had just had to get her new boots or a new helmet and then she would decide to quit. Right now aspie girl is the only one riding. I keep hoping D1 will want to go back to riding - -at least it got her out of the house and got her some little bit of exercise… but so far no luck with that. I’ve told her that I’m willing to pay for it (or any other activity) if she wants to start again. She broke her dance teacher’s heart when she gave up on ballet in 8th grade. I think yoga would be good for her and we have membership in the local sports club, but she usually only leaves the house if she has an appointment with someone somewhere --though she did drive aspie girl to her social skills class on Monday and then took manga girl to the bookstore. </p>
<p>Today I’m taking aspie girl to get her learner’s permit. god help us all.</p>
<p>awwww
Gmom
I would be a meanest ballet mom if I colulda be, Asian big head or not.
some of my friends still bulldoze on. some 50%, even 100% big-headed short-limbed so what, work ethic and discipline, mommy-power are the strongest in cough cough, big-headed front. almost scary.
mom and D relocated where possibility arise leave dad alone to keep earning money, entire family income poured into costume and due for competitions.
good news is, the door is opening ever so slightly, there are Asian principals here and there, it will only get better.
but but but…do you really really wanna see bigheaded sugerplum or princess Aurora if you are paying same bucks for the ticket?
if elsewhere than NY City Ballet, be warned and check the casting ahead.
I wanna dream, don’t want to be reminded how sort of pathetic to try to be something we were not meant to be.</p>
<p>You mean, the brave girl done her time till 8th grade? it is pretty much set for her life then, let her be. You made it. awwwwww.
wagwagwagwagwag</p>
<p>Ok something of a weird epiphany here: </p>
<p>In my super duper soccer mom put all these opportunities in front of him mode of operation, here are the things we have discovered about S that are relatively easy for him:
Writing (insisted on him applying to middle school humanities magnet)
Sports (encouraged team membership swimming, soccer, cross country)
Acting ( theater camp blah blah blah)
Math
Science </p>
<p>Here are the things he struggled with mightily, but picked for himself, and arranged for himself:
Music and art. He stumbled on an art magnet in his which high school do I pick tour. He walked into a music store when he was in 5 th grade at a street festival that we decided to give him some walking around on his own time at. Introduced himself to the guy who became his first guitar teacher and probably lifelong friend. These were things that he really struggled with, I doubted that they would stick or he would stick with them, and these are his passions.</p>
<p>Hmmmm…</p>
<p>the tigermom said
“most people suck at what they love”
it might have been sad childhood for her.
again,
let’s pat our own back and adore adore our so-so children.</p>
<p>looking back, I did wish I could do more to push D on sports. D don’t like sports and I didn’t push her at all. I wish I did some push on skate/swim, that may help D to be more open and not that introverted. For swim, I did get her two private tutor sessions to teach her how to swim. After that it is done. She don’t like competing environment and swim team is a “NO”. I did get D some dancing and gymnastic classes when she was little.</p>
<p>I was very successful to push D into a very strict magnet school, I pushed D to get her science high school requirement done in 9th grade, so that she could have AP Chem, AP Bio and AP Physics all done in high school. After AP Chem, AP Bio, Feeling continuing to push D on AP Physics is not fair to a dreaming artist. In her senior year, no AP Science and AP math, did make her very happy!</p>
<p>Maybe there is no need for me to regret about the sports pushing thing. Maybe whatever D is won’t change no matter what I do…</p>
<p>How can people suck at what they love? I will say most people are very good at what they love.</p>
<p>Sheesh Aspie girl blew my day out of the water. I’m afraid to go look at my work computer with the emails blowing up all over the place. I’m in avoidance mode at the moment. The DMV has worse than banker’s hours. Didn’t open until 10am. We got there 15 minutes early and there were already 25 or 30 people standing in line ahead of us. So we eventually got up to the counter with all of our paperwork in order…social security card, ‘proper’ approved birth certificate, student ID card and report card, back up plan of baptism certificate and doctor’s bill…and the lady tells aspie girl to read the bottom line on the eye chart. Uh oh. Aspie girl didn’t bring her glasses. In fact, aspie girl doesn’t actually know where her glasses are. So we are turned away with a paper - we have ‘five days’ to get to an eye doctor. </p>
<p>I had to pick up a prescription and I knew there was an optometrist next door to the pharmacy. So I crossed my fingers that we could walk in without an appointment. Aspie girl and manga girl had no school today (yep, last week it was the principal’s brother’s death, this week it’s the golf tournament) so we needed to do this today. I wasn’t going to pull her out of school to get a learner’s permit. Fortunately the eye doctor had an 11 am cancellation and we had got her checked out. Bad news was that her eye sight has deteriorated significantly since she had her last exam and we needed to get new glasses. So I bought her new glasses (plus a spare set since she loses everything), plus some prescription sunglasses since she’ll be driving. That cost me a bundle. and change.</p>
<p>Then it was back to the DMV and scrounging quarters for the parking meter and crossing fingers for the test part of it… and aspie girl held up pretty well. She passed the test, we paid the fee (darn near 100 bucks) and then we were off to go back to the eye doctor to get her new glasses (DmV was content with the paper the doctor signed that we brought back with us - -then the kid didn’t need to take the eye test) and then off to the health food store (ten percent discount day, needed to stock up on gluten free goodies) and then finally back home.</p>
<p>aspie girl is supposed to wear the new glasses all the time except when she’s riding. good thing the horse has good eyesight.</p>
<p>laters…</p>
<p><<<gmom wrote:=“” aspie=“” girl=“” is=“” supposed=“” to=“” wear=“” the=“” new=“” glasses=“” all=“” time=“” except=“” when=“” she’s=“” riding.=“” good=“” thing=“” horse=“” has=“” eyesight.=“”>>></gmom></p>
<p>That made me literally LOL! Thanks for the laugh, Gmom! :D</p>
<p>G-mom, you must be exhausted! In my world, we are battling fleas. Had the house treated, had the dogs treated. Were told to vacuum the whole house every day. Every side of every cushion, every day! And all of the floor too. Isn’t this like one of those diets where you drink 4 glasses of water before each meal? You’re too bloated to eat, so you don’t (for the 1 day it lasts…)</p>
<p>I skipped a day, and it’s only day 4 of 30. Found a few fleas on each dog today. Arrrrrrghghghggh! Switters, any advice? I had been using Frontline but either it became completely ineffective or I got a counterfeit batch. The groomer says it’s bad because of all the rain, the vet says it’s just a bad time of year. D3 says we should shave the dogs down to the skin! Such cruelty… Meanwhile, I don’t think I can survive vacuuming and flea combing every day for the next 26 days. Help!</p>
<p>How did you treat the house? </p>
<p>My understanding is that flea treatments like frontline kill the animals i mean the fleas or possibly make them sterile, but not the eggs. So the vacuuming is to suck up any eggs? The last time something like this happened to me was probably more than 20 years ago and I used a bomb. And probably way too much powder. I’d wash the bedding too. Also this is counterintuitive but use the frontline treated dogs as bait. Any eggs that survive the vacuuming and hatch can jump on the dogs and bite them and die from the frontline before they lay more eggs. Ugh poor you!!!</p>
<p>If my memory serves me right, the eggs that are there keep hatching over time until the freshest eggs hatch in thirty days??? But if you’ve vacuumed them up they shouldn’t be an issue anymore. Can you restrict the area of the house the dogs are in for the thirty days? Are they picking up fleas outdoors and bringing them in? S. California was just awful for fleas, and N.California only marginally better… Hey bears… how about little tick and flea stuffed toys to compete with the stuffed microbes? better yet, make them doggy chew toys… they could chew on a stuffed flea instead of the real thing.</p>
<p>It sounds as bad as lice. All that vacuuming and combing. Ugh.</p>
<p>When we lived in California we gave in and bombed the house. While ticks are a problem here in NY, my experience has been that my kids have more of a problem with getting ticks than the dogs.</p>
<p>Are you putting something in the vacuum to kill the fleas so they don’t escape?</p>
<p>Hi
Have been working like mad but thought I’d chime in here. Since neither of us is drawn particularly to sports I felt like I had to at least make an attempt. So off we went to soccer, well that was a lark, my kid spent the entire time with a friend of like mind off to the side drawing letters in the dirt and watching the cars go by on Hudson Street. (Pretty busy street in NY for those who don’t know, enough certainly to keep one’s attention from the game going on in the background)! But I got us out there for awhile before I realized it just wasn’t taking and sort of silly all things considered. Then there was the attempt at t-ball where my kid exhibited more common sense than I when an over-involved father starting screaming at the kids trying to “rev” them up and mine just said “Okay we’re going home and never coming back”. </p>
<p>Since we were in NY most of that time the issue of sports at our schools wasn’t really an issue, few schools are as sports oriented as in the outer world. I think it’s partly a space issue. I did try/suggest martial arts, fencing, more singular athletic activities to no avail. However as could have been predicted my kid discovered first fencing and then through that martial arts totally independently and now is a devout follower of 2 disciplines and has become extremely fit and very confident and more focused . . . I credit some of this to maturity but the martial arts have been a wonderful thing. But it had to be a personal journey not something a silly old mom suggested. And that makes sense somehow to me.</p>
<p>OH yes, and any college that sent material that talked about their great sports programs immediately went into the discard pile. Not a draw for my progeny, maybe it’s a genetic thing, the old soccer coach’s kid is majoring in sports management or some such thing! But my city/urban kid has become a hiker/kung fu/fencing lover and is so much healthier. It just took awhile to find the appropriate “sport.”</p>
<p>From some weird reason it’s important not to restrict the areas of the house the dogs are in? But I’m not sure that makes sense. I think the eggs will only hatch ( and thus be killable by the frontline) in the presence of a blood meal. That’s why there’s those horror stories about summer cottages being empty all winter and then the folks show up again with the family dog and huge numbers of fled ensue. Just keep vacuuming I guess.</p>
<p>Gmom
We knew of microbe toys you posted before, it was sold at FAO crying out loud.
nothing is new under the stuffed toy sun…
I am sure someone would made flea chew toys already. my boss wanting to go into pet business forever but pricing and production req. numbers are such, we’d never make it.
and those pet toys aren’t half bad, either, go to Petoco and you’d think gawk, this is darn cute, and nice materials, and whaaattt? $4.99?</p>
<p>that remind me of my one nanny gig. One family had two small hairy kind dogs with occasional fleas. went off to vacation for a couple weeks or so in hi summer, came back to their totally sealed enclosed baked somewhat moist home and gawk!!
They can jump, really. like those pink spalding balls. all over the places.
If I know hi physics, there must be fitting impression/description of the movement of what we saw.
I was more awed than grossed. They must be the last one standing after human species long gone…</p>
<p>I am keeping my fingers crossed that fleas don’t become our issue. For some reason we either have no fleas in the yard or they hate my cat. Never seen a flea or flea specks on the cat and frontline makes her really sick. But LICE…after a truly horrendous time with lice during D’s 6th grade year where the entire family got it at least twice but it seemed endless. I am now the go to lice person amongst my friends…what an honor!?–I keep the combs and the suave coconut conditioner at the ready. I did a household just two weeks ago…one major treatment and one followup and they are lice free! There may be a “flea” expert amongst your friends or neighbors…ask around because they may know the secret to the particular fleas in your area. Really. Like the lice in dc metro area are apparently impervious to the chemical (they literally do the backstroke in the foam while smirking at you) but suave coconut conditioner slows them down so you can actually catch the little buggers. I discovered this in my desperation while searching the internet for solutions. Works like a charm but you need a really good comb. Perhaps it will work on the fleas?! On children I put on gobs and gobs of the conditioner and then put a plastic cap on them for one hour and then comb and pick, rinse and then comb and pick again. The plastic cap wont work for dogs but you may want to try combing them with the goop on them so as to get more of the fleas. You need, like with lice, to break the cycle. Baby fleas can’t lay eggs but are too small to be caught by the comb alone (conditioner goop definitely helps with this) …you need to comb everyday to get the mature lice before they can lay lots of eggs. The vacuuming gets the eggs but the focus has to be on those fleas on the animal. I like the idea of letting the dog be the bait so they run around hte house picking up the fleas so you can comb them out…interesting idea switters. Let us know how it goes…green.</p>
<p>Congrats to G-mom on surviving the DMV and getting a new driver in the house!? Have fun.</p>
<p>there is privacy and there is privacy…
was right.
He had to buy the books that come with CD to learn language, prof sent note saying make sure CD is there if you are buying used books.
did he read the note? maybe
did he remembered it?
no
So there was a homework using the CD he does not have. He did not do it, and supposedly came e-mail was a reminders, warnings or sentences, that he had to hide from the bank (me)
He changes password.
“why didn’t you do the work?”
“it is stupid, anyway. like, circle the right one, I knew already, it isn’t work, it isn’t learning!!”
" go get f****g CD ASAP"
" I need a blank CD"
" you have them"
" I do?"
" …look in the in the stationary box (packing fairy)"</p>
<p>I also found out that he is skipping lunch being scared of dwindling down left meals count since I signed up for “starter” plan to see how it goes.
he’d give away hardly used box of detergent and go buy hi end flashlight for the late nite powwowing but don’t pay for slice of pizza for lunch with offered declining balance cash that came with the plan?
How everything connect in his system… I gave up long time ago to understand nor reason it but but but
thinking him going hungry is just too much while I’d eat caramel salt chocolate as I please well stocked TJ being open 8-10 few blocks away.
Growing pain, yes. adjustment period, yes. City mouse Country mouse (bear or dog) maybe</p>
<p>on the phone, I could not follow fammom’s classic method at all at all.
and just sent off e-mail TELLING where to go what to do to solve all^ that and beyond, which is clearly available to every students if they’d read publications, notices, web site.
maybe this is the last time he’d talk to me.</p>
<p>smarty dear if you mean downtown united, we were there as well.
Do I KNOW you???
There were obvious “gifted” boys, brothers and the way them bend it, I can see why parents would go live thru them, pour family fortune in it. one of these days maybe see them at worldcups then it’s my bragging right (not)</p>
<p>there was a funny one by Roz Chast she and her kids tries but did not get it and just plain quit. how every soccer mom goes (bragging) on about how busy they are with kids’ games traveling etc like chicken without a head OMG, and Roz says “well, why don’t you quit?”</p>
<p>Whatever you do don’t use over the counter flea meds on dogs or cats. Hartz nearly killed a cat I had. </p>
<p>I guess if I had a serious infestation I would tape up the cupboards, evacuate the house and bomb. So not pc. But there is nothing I hate worse then fleas. Not even ticks. One time my corgi went on overnight walkabout. He showed up the next morning and collapsed on his dog bed. I was gazing at him with adoration, grateful for his return, when suddenly I noticed streams of incredibly tiny baby ticks crawling Off of him…nightmare!!!</p>
<p>That’s funny Bears, we might have been on the same field at some time but our involvement was very short lived, I really mean that he’d stand by that fence on Hudson with his buddy drawing pictures in the dirt while behind them all these kids were running back and forth, players were yelling, coaches were shouting instruction and parents were barking encouragement, and these two were oblivious to it all. He did manage to get one small trophy, how or why I don’t know but he was so proud of it and it was so funny because I swear he spent a total of maybe 2 minutes in all out on the field. I don’t think I even ever had to wash that uniform and it was white! And I’m not even sure we made it through a season so the trophy was probably just a kindness on the coaches part.</p>
<p>Oh I wish I had known you then, I was so alone, the only soccer mom whose kid wasn’t even on the field. Friends were there but they were all so into it. It would have been fun to have had a buddy to chat to in Nihongo, to talk about bears and dogs with, to keep me entertained while I waited for that inner sports lover to emerge, little did I know it would take 18 years!
And team sports, yeah, well still no so much. Must be why a school was picked that’s sports mascot is “The Dead Trees” or some such thing. The school’s big on outdoors just not team sports, a lot like…well you know where.</p>
<p>OK, we had the house treated by our regular termite-check people but they didn’t bomb. They sprayed all over and we all had to leave for 4 hours minimum and vacuum everything as soon as we got back. To get rid of any insecticide residue, ick! Dogs spent the day at the groomer where they got a flea bath. All was well for next day and a half. Then I picked two fleas off one of the dogs (while sitting there, bored at D3’s soccer game, hah!) but I didn’t see any flea poop.</p>
<p>H combed them both out later and their fur is pretty short now, and white, so you’d think that the fleas would be easy to see and catch but all I heard from the other room in those small moments when the vacuum was off was a whole lot of cursing and H yelling things like, “those bastids can jump”! He did find some flea poop too. </p>
<p>We had been using Frontline but I think I may have gotten a defective or counterfeit batch because it’s supposed to be effective for fleas for 3 months, but for ticks, only one month and that is why you use it monthly. I bought it at Costco where it was cheaper. We’re going to the vet today to buy something called Revolution which she thinks will work a bit better. Fingers are crossed! They all warn you about not using it too often so I have to wait another week at least. It also works better with the dog’s natural oils so I can’t bathe them for a few more days before using it and I can’t slather them with coconut conditioner or anything else very regularly. </p>
<p>We have an official “flea comb” which is a lot like our old lice comb but with shorter and thinner tines. We tried the old lice comb on them but I think it may have hurt, so we went out and got the flea comb. Years ago when the girls all had lice, I eventually caught it too. It took forever to comb out all three heads every day and I had to do it in natural light or I couldn’t see well enough. A friend had given me a neem oil preparation that helped and made combing easier but it seemed like we were getting nowhere. In desperation I slathered them all with vaseline and had them wear it overnight with a shower cap.</p>
<p>It definitely worked, with the gooiness smothering the adults and the fatiness killing the eggs but it took weeks for the vaseline to come out of their hair! The lice comb took the vaseline out better than any shampoo could but it was a very long process. I’ve heard of people using mayonnaise, butter, or peanut butter for the same technique but saying that it would be easier to remove afterwards. Ugh! Can you imagine sleeping with mayonnaise on your head?</p>