<p>bears, I love your story! It’s all such a learning process, eventually he’ll get the hang of it. You can send him a care package of TJ’s chocolate so you don’t feel guilty. I love salty chocolate too.</p>
<p>switters, I did try to launder everything. That’s what was so demoralizing, I still hadn’t finished when the fleas returned! We’re keeping D1 and D2’s rooms closed so at least there will be 2 rooms and 2 beds that are OK. Also, I vacuumed up some herbal flea repellant thing that is supposed to make your vacuum a flea killer. The exterminator recommended vacuuming up a little borax too. Let’s just hope it all works or maybe they’ll be shaved naked!</p>
<p>The coconut conditioner is basically like vaseline or mayo but easier to wash out. If all else fails you could try the conditioner…at least the dogs and house will smell tropical. </p>
<p>Bears…I so sympathise with your frustration. He will talk to you again but it was probably like old times to have you going nuts about the cd. </p>
<p>Scary thing happening to my launchee. So he calls now about once a week which would be good but there is an undertone of sadness that wasn’t there last year. He has been having a hard time with math but says this week better and had some other midterms…art history and comp scie…I ask “what about your art? how come you never talk about your art?”…he says that his way of doing art…think hard and intensely about a particular project for a day or two and then work day and night for 3-4 days on complex elaborate project is his style but it is simply incompatible with having a math class and comp class with problem sets, homeworks, review sessions and lectures. He has to have enough sleep each night to do math which means he can’t do art the way he likes to do it so he has produced nothing good. He is doing fine in his two art classes but that is because he does what teacher expects/wants but not really what he would like to do…largeror more complex and more ambitious pieces. He also says he has been sitting in on econ classes and really debating whether to be part of the student strike, etc…and he really likes his math and comp sci class…but I hear a sadness in him that he thinks he can’t do both art and more conventional studies together. Last year when he was killing himself on his art projects I would finally track him down to talk to him and he would sound so excited and thrilled about what he was doing. I think of steve Jobs and how he told stanford students that the good thing about death is you know you only have the one shot and not to waste it on doing what others want you to do…so worried that he feels he should go the conventional route…of course I want him to be financially secure but I want him happy even more and what if they aren’t compatible either… How much is he thinking about doing conventional studies because he thinks that is the smart thing to do? Perhaps being in CMU where the truly brilliant people are in the tech area was a bad choice and he should have gone to an art school where no distractions from the art…</p>
<p>there is academic issue and there is academic issue…
fammom and mine, difference in magnitude are heaven to earth yet all we can do is wish them somehow wade thru and come out happy and alive.</p>
<p>I was looking at the word “gross” because I have to order bunch of pins, twelve dozens are gross or gloss, is it the same gross as of gross income or grossed out, if it is gross, not gloss?.. eventually Google hit this. and of course I had to see it.
[Bot</a> Fly - YouTube](<a href=“Bot Fly - YouTube”>Bot Fly - YouTube)
G and Swits an’ all consider yourself lucky!! flea/ticks are lame. agggggghhhh</p>
<p>so I went back to my desk and watched from the window these immigrant-y guys on the rooftop nearby building fixing whatever they are fixing. Ropes are hang from higher floor to the next, bag of something is sent back and forth. blue tarps and lumbers.
when my kid called, he actually worried and asked about of Occupy wallstreet got some affect on my dairy life.
I said no, because people who have jobs to report can not be camping out demonstrating, or lose the sad jobs they got.
The guys on the roof are of 99% as well as those protesters, I am, too. But we just go on our lives as if…
It is nice to be be young and able to question things.
The Steve jobs’ speech was at the commencement. kids at Stanford done time already. They may still be 99% but have advantage being educated in one of the finest institution where Steve crying out loud Jobs 'd willing to come to do talk.
I think, fammom, famkid is just fine. start saving for grad school in art, yes?</p>
<p>Ewwwwww, bears I couldn’t watch that whole clip. Thanks for giving me some perspective though.</p>
<p>Fammom, the first thing I thought of was that your son would be a good candidate for an independent thesis. Maybe a whole semester where he could really dive into some enormous or involved project. Carefully guided of course, so he gets good feedback and inspiration. CMU and his natural inclinations are a good place to blend the two (or more) fields and he was always wanting to combine both, wasn’t he? Just REMIND him every so often and mention Steve Jobs, and that Randy, and their inspirational words and lives.</p>
<p>D2 was going through something similar recently and spoke to me about transferring, even as soon as for this spring semester, to a BA program. I think someone said something to her about being practical and hireable and how could you do that with an art degree? Also her tendency is to question things and doubt herself. When things go well, I don’t hear from her much at all so unlike everyone else, I breathe a sigh of relief when she doesn’t call! When she does call, she needs me in a very intense way to help work something out. I keep reminding her too, that being a humanities major doesn’t guarantee you a job either!</p>
<p>famm:
It is very hard to grow in Art & Computer Science. I was a faculty in Computer Science major and I know all the effort the student need to put in to do good. Feel sad for all the burden on you S. Maybe he can try focus more on Art and get little computer Science class? If he change his mind on art he always can get back to learn some kind of computer language to find a job?</p>
<p>greenwich:
I can understand your D2’s worry. I did some search and feel very depressing when I looking at art related jobs. Maybe I didn’t know how to search art related jobs and I am comparing to Computer major …</p>
<p>That is why I am trying to think about after BFA? Maybe Ph.D is a better option ?! You all see the thread I put out.
Transferring takes more time to get degree. Maybe after BFA, try to get master of other major is more practical if can not find good job using BFA?</p>
<p>Just some of my thoughts.</p>
<p>Through BFA, they got good education and many many doors is still open to them. As immigration, I know a girl have a music degree and spent two years to learn computer and then get a computer related job. A gymnastic girl major in accounting in community college and she should be able to get a job.
American system is good, any age, any time, you can get in school to get a new skill …</p>
<p>Encourage them to focus on one thing their art and if it didn’t work out and then think of other option…</p>
<p>Maybe all of you watch it but just in case some one didn’t</p>
<p>[Steve</a> Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 - YouTube](<a href=“Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 - YouTube”>Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 - YouTube)</p>
<p>Just a little note for parents worried about their kids “direction.” </p>
<p>Add Steve Jobs to the list of college “drop-outs” who did okay. I don’t think he even made it through his first semester at Reed (financial issues were always given as the reason, he did not come “from money”). He worked and went to India studying under some sort of guru, came back to the Reed campus area dressed in robes and India gear and proceeded to audit classes for some time. He said that if he only got the idea of allowing a multitude of fonts into the type selection of the first Apple products because he was able to audit a class on lettering/calligraphy during that time. I don’t think he ever re-enrolled at Reed just sort of drifted from there to whatever parent’s garage or basement he and his partner used to start Apple. </p>
<p>Just wanted to add that little note of hope for those whose kids seem a little directionless. I cling to these tales with great anticipation myself LOL!</p>
<p>I was touched by the speech about do the thing you love. All of us have a short time to live. 10 years is only 3650 days and even we reach 80/90, how may days we have? We all are going to losing everything when we die, why don’t something you love, work on your dream you have?! If later it didn’t work out, there is always some kind of choice to make a living.
This thought make me feel better about supporting D to fulfill her dream in art:----)</p>
<p>thing is
Reed is not the same Reed anymore after CC (or some other stuff that happened between then and now)
they should establish “Steve Jobs scholarship” in which let the kid stay free and audit classes as they please after paid one semester.
Then again, the kid have to GET IN first, on Reed’s standard of NOW, not back then.
I didn’t like “Outlier” because I had have to not like Malcolm Gladwell for Judith Harris’s behalf but he is right about Bill Gates and all that, I do believe in timing, happened to be at the right place and right time in the history. what worked for those visionaries won’t necessary work for our kids.
but hey. let’s look forward and connect, yes.
there got to be totally new way to get there for our kids, that nobody even have thought of.
will know only by looking back.</p>
<p>In that vein, I watch D1 with her struggles and think about how many gifted people struggled with mental health issues as well. I’m trying to view this time of her life as kind of ‘stewing’… she explores all sorts of things on her own… does a lot of puzzles of all sorts…doesn’t seem to finish ANY art that I can see…and she mostly doesn’t leave the house unless it’s to go to a doctor or something. I try to minimize my demands on her (I have a really hard time figuring out why I’m cleaning toilet bowls when there is a 19 year old kid in the house with no other demands on her time). She is in a special day program at the moment - but is still insisting that all she wants is to go back to MICA - she knows what went wrong and how to avoid it from happening again. Sadly, every single professional tells us to stick to our guns and keep saying ‘NO’ until she ‘proves’ she can handle it. None of them think she can go back, which breaks my heart. But the problem is moving her along to something else. She is so stuck. On a positive note, though, she does manage to get herself over to this day program every day. I wonder if people like this suddenly have some sort of revelation and are suddenly ‘well’ – like a light bulb goes on with exactly the right mix of medications and self analysis. Somehow I don’t think it really works like that, but I can’t help hoping.</p>
<p>Hey G mom…i am getting good stories from a mom on another forum who’s son crashed the first semester, tried to go back the second semester and lasted less than a week…refused all help, sat around for several months playing video games and becoming a recluse but then started seeing his therapist more regularly and is now back at school…the mom is dubious that he will make it but already he has done better than his first year…I think it isn’t really a lightbulb moment but more that a kid finally takes two steps forward and sometimes one back once they get on a forward trajectory…it is getting those first two steps forward and a little bit of confidence so that they can weather the inevitable challenges and even failures that will await them. Just the fact that your D is actually going to a program on a consistent basis is a small forward trajectory that may grow over the next months. I really hope this is the beginning of that for her. Who knows? she may start taking on more around the house once she feels more positive…get the toilet bowl wand ready…</p>
<p>not really on topic but Bears loves the drama…D is at the first of a string of homecoming dances at the various schools. Tonight’s victim, I mean “date”, lives not far and is part of the neighborhood group but goes to a catholic school in another district. It is his homecoming; D’s is next week. My D warned us over and over not to do anything “weird” when boy comes over…Poor kid comes over, very nervous, good handshake, flowers …my husband looks grim and can’t even smile when I give him the camera to take pictures. I whisper…smile for goodness sake and H gets a smile that looks more like a man in agony. Remember, H is tall, thin and looks like a serious professor or priest. Not a jolly, all american type. Anyway, I then whisper…“chat him up”…H says…“Is that your car?” in a disapproving voice. and then makes light conversation with the following series of questions “have you ever had an accident?”…“Have you ever had a ticket?” (yes, a speeding ticket)…“how fast were you going”…the kid looks shaken but answers honestly and D looks ready to sink…Anyway, as they are leaving boy asks what time D needs to be home…H reminds him that in OUR county there is a curfew for the under 18s and to have her home by 12 in a threatening voice… one of D’s friends was here helping D get ready and I took the girl home …she thought it was hysterical and I think there will be tweets flying…I told my D earlier that for my first prom as I was getting in the car, my father came out of the house and handed me a quarter saying in a grim tone “just in case you need to call home”…the circle of life (or at least father-daughter memories continue generation after generation)…</p>
<p>OK anyone
explain me what exactly is the homecoming and what that entail?
wikipesia says</p>
<p>Homecoming is an annual tradition of the United States. People, towns, high schools and colleges come together, usually in late September or early October, to welcome back alumni and former residents. It is built around a central event, such as a banquet and, most often, a game of American football, or, on occasion, basketball, ice hockey or soccer. When celebrated by schools, the activities vary widely. However, they usually consist of a football game played on a school’s home football field, activities for students and alumni, a parade featuring the school’s marching band and sports teams, and the coronation of a Homecoming Queen (and at many schools, a Homecoming King). A dance commonly follows the game.</p>
<p>so alums and former residents actually take day off from work/school and travel home for a day or so?
or it is more like HS prom like occasion?
when would one know chosen as a queen or king? nominated or random vote, or conspiracy galore( GPA, test scores, hahaha kidding!)
will fam-sis be the Queen!?!?!?!?!
schools talk between themselves and take turns hosting game or dance since same kids are going to every events, like young kids’ birthday parties?
and
does she need new dress/hair do-s that require someone help putting on for every occasion?
that reminded me
you did not tell what she was wearing, and he (in coat and tie? 16-17sh year old male? seriously? I knew my nephew did and went to parochial school)
I heard WNYC radio of Art Spiegelman publishing biography of “Maus” marking 20 year anniversary. just went to B&N to skim and
I know it is terribly wrong thing to say but how Vladek Spiegelman (art’s Holocaust surviving dad) was outrageous in many ways toward his family and associate but how charming, dear and handsome at the same time, was linked with famdad in my head.
wanna see him?
<a href=“http://www.grovel.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/maus04.jpg[/url]”>http://www.grovel.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/maus04.jpg</a>
then again
in the book was interviews with Art’s kids: D gone Stuy HS to Yale, S same with mine’s age is from private schools to Brown.
This somewhat upset me more than “can’t do math” college student S of famous area musicologist/college president (guess who? smarty)was asked and answered with swelling (really) chest
“He is at Princeton. next question?”
dah!</p>
![http://www.grovel.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/maus04.jpg[/url]](http://www.grovel.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/maus04.jpg%5B/url%5D){kind=link}
<p>Spiegelman is an alum of HS my kid went, the book said he is now designing staind glass window for the new school building that have been forever on the drawing board.
I guess Tony Bennett (who also went to the same HS but chose to ditch it) rebuilt state of the art facility art HS he started in Queens have put bit of pressure on Alumni body, if such thing exist?
I guess this is the closest for non-field, non-venue, non-football NYC schools would get in to the spirit of homecoming?</p>
<p>Yes…homecoming at colleges seems to be an opportunity to hit up for alumni donations this is why they take place generally in the fall during football season. Schools without that sports craziness usually build it around some other event. </p>
<p>In High school alumni in the area do come to the football game…every year they announce groups like the class of '82 etc. and I think they sometimes have a dinner together before the game. At my school we had “homecoming court” with votes for the most popular girl/guy and then 5 or six other couples as the court. It was a huge deal in my old southern high school with a game on Friday, dance on Saturday and the homecoming court walking onto the field at halftime in fancy dresses/suits. So when S told me he was on the homecoming court sophomore year I was very impressed and told him to wear a suit, etc…HA! they lounged out onto the field in shorts and JEANS and flipflops!!! Weird. It has lost its magic apparently at this school. But the dance is a big deal but short dresses not gowns. Boys usually bring corsage but not always. Boys don’t usually wear suits just nice slacks, tie. D’s date last night just had button down, khakis and tie. D and S’s school do have famous alumni–Shirley Maclain, Warren Beatty (siblings) and Sandra Bullock (I understand she was a cheerleader) but to my knowledge never come back to visit and never have donated anytihing. Numerous NFL players from their heyday as a good football school in the 1970’s.</p>
<p>D said it was very different going to a private school because they had a photo booth and lottery prizes for very expensive tickets to a concert and he took her to the country club for dinner (i have never met anyone who belonged–generally it is congressmen and rich folk) and put it on Dad’s tab. She was so shocked by the prices she ordered the salad and came home hungry (that made me proud!). She does not plan on taking him to her homecoming as that would make them a couple (?) and he is only a friend…yeah, right, you should have seen his gooey eyes when he saw her in her spaghetti strap dress ($45 internet bargain) with her hair done by her friend…it kind of all came together in a curly pony tail over one shoulder…very cute. She wore flats so as not to be taller than him. Asian boy–adoptee according to D–and athletic looking but not tall. He made her call when they were late leaving the dance but she was home by 12:15. So I have no idea who the parents are or much about him but D’s friends assured me he is a good guy. LIke I should trust their judgement…</p>
<p>hummm
bamboo ceiling for our twinkie (some calls them banana) kids.
if it wasn’t big head, spiky hair, flat nose and/or wide feet that Vans off the wall hipsta slipon won’t slip-on you, it have to be the height.
boys have it harder. I mean you can compensate by clear skin, less facial hair (never those back/shoulder bear-hair) less B.O. and let’s not forget nerdy STEM aptitude but yet but yet…
I strongly suggest famsis does him a favor back and invite him to make it official. heheheh
who knows he would later become minister of art or something in the line to catapult famkid’s career.
and he will always pick up the tabs, yes?
you did a good job raising her on
-so shocked by the prices she ordered the salad and came home hungry (that made me proud!)</p>
<p>fammom - that story was hilarious! I’m so glad your D’s friend got to be a witness, she’ll have your D rolling her eyes and laughing about it in school instead of slowly building up explosive steam against her Dad and all evil parents everywhere! They’re so angry and intolerant with their parents and we never seem to do anything wrong, do we???</p>
<p>I think of new Senator Scott Brown telling the world at his first press conference that his daughters were “available”. He wrote about it in his book as just another “stupid Dad moment” or something like that. They must be used to it by now! “Have you gotten any tickets?” … oh, that is priceless!</p>
<p>Yes…stupid dad moments. I do believe that these are the moments that they will actually remember and cherish. Anyway, D is appreciating her father’s genes right now. She had a genealogy project and decided to do the maternal line since H is out of town and those catholics! so many uncles/aunts/cousins! so she decided to keep to my side where protestant uptightness (and lack of sexual attraction) kept even the pre-birth control generations to only 1 or 2 children per family. After seeing the pictures of my grandmother’s relatives – plain is kind, downright UGLY is a fairer characterization–she realizes that without her father things could have been very different. I had a bunch of papers my mother took from my grandpa’s office when we were going through the house after the funeral. I hadn’t really looked at them but grandpa had made a small stab at genealogy before his death and I have laughed myself to stitches with the notes and letters from my great, great aunts on both sides of my mothers family. We seem to have been full of drunkards and generally “unreliable” types for our men folk with the exceptions of my grandmother’s great grand-dad and grandfather Gorrill who were, it turns out, very well-known silversmiths and sculptors (made carvings for the vaults and gravestones)–In fact, now I need to go to sheffield because supposedly, at least when great aunt minnie wrote in 1974, there were examples of their fine work in the museum…so S is not the first artist in the family apparently. However, my grandma’s grandpa’s obituary in the Sheffield Post in 1930, praises his memory not for his artistry, but for his fame as the leader of the local angling club…indeed he was described as “the Mussolini of Angling” (remember this was pre-war and Mussolini was much admired in strike-torn Sheffield for his way with trade unions). How funny to see a dead relative making a headline on the “sports page”. </p>
<p>so…totally went off topic but kinda cool. ANy other art launchees with artist in the family? Little switters has a grandma-artist right? Any others?</p>
<p>PS…writing this made me realize that S is trying to become an artist in steel town…do you think he loves pittsburgh because there is some latent gene that makes him love gritty, steel towns like Sheffield?</p>